


Building sandcastles

by Ksfly180



Series: Falling into Black [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Drama, Multi, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Pack Family, Polygamy, Team as Family, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex, Walkers (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-08-23 11:50:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 49
Words: 55,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20242390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksfly180/pseuds/Ksfly180
Summary: Continuation of falling into BlackThe prison is home now.  They just have to keep it.





	1. Home sweet home

Chapter 1: Home sweet home

Winter wasn't so bad in the prison. We stayed mostly in the cell block because it's just too cold outside, even with the warm clothes. So we spend most of our day talking or playing cards or doing odd jobs to avoid boredom.

Merle insisted on using the time to train people. We still had the paintball guns so he let them practice their aim with those. We even spent a day having a mock hunt and hit in the catacombs with them which had Merle cackling all day long.

We also established the rule that everyone is armed. Merle again took over that, fitting weapons to each member. And he was serious during their training. Enough so to get it through to them that slacking will not be tolerated.

We discussed finding water barrels with the group. Maggie mentioned how some tractor supply and farm supply stores should carry that. So she, Glenn and Brently went out to a store she knew would be close. 

They cane back with four huge drums, plastic pipes, and rolls of plastic that she and Glenn want to rig up to collect rainwater. The drums have a built in filtration system and she grabbed replacement filters for us to have on hand. It was a hassle getting them all up on the roof but we managed it.

Beth and Hershel have started a seedling garden. It's little more than a small amount of soil holding a few seeds wrapped in a wet paper towel. We've also cut the grass in the field and boxed in the raised garden beds. 

The lemon trees we had weren't doing so well at first. We've kept them inside with us so the frost doesn't harm them. Merle suggested peeing on them but I don't think that would work, regardless of what he saw online.

The kitchen is no good but it's too far to walk each day anyways. We did take the food but unfortunately, whatever Sirius did totally screwed up the appliances. So we just put up plastic and decided we'll worry about it later.

Merle lead a run and came back with a generator and a stove. That was set up between the farthest table and the wall so we use that table as a prep area in our cell block. Another time he came back with a deep freezer and five mini fridges. 

We also have couches and tables and chairs in the open area of the cell block along the cells. Jag got a hold of some spray cans so he and Daryl spray painted one wall. It's mostly abstract lines and bright colors. I think they just wanted something other than grey stone walls to look at.

I resized a few of the big toys for the kids; the cozy car, the climb and slide, a kitchenette and two tricycles. That way they can play out their energy inside without driving us crazy. We still bundle them up and take them out from time to time but never long with the weather so cold.

Both kids have adapted amazingly well. They know when to be quiet and when they can be loud. Granted, Tiny still struggles with being quiet but she's getting better. Our cell block is often ringing with their laughter and excited squeals all day long. And they only sometimes whine and kick up a fuss.

Daryl, Glenn, and Maggie drove out several times to check nearby farms. Most were destroyed but a few had farming supplies they brought back. One even had a chicken coop, completely untouched. So they brought all ten of them. We're hoping to breed them up. But for now they're settled in the dining room I'm a makeshift pen.

Nichelle delivered a healthy baby boy just as spring hits, late March by our best guess. He comes out more grayish purple than I expected but his skin darkens after a few days. Nichelle handled it amazingly, barely even shouting and only really just before he came out. She named him Gamba, which apparently means warrior.

He's a chunky little thing. Not as noisy as I expected either but that's probably because Nichelle rarely sets him down. Tiny is over the moon with her new baby brother and even told Thorin they could share him.

It got tense for a while. Thorin would hover over the baby, clutching his knife and looking around worriedly. He would insist on wearing his dino backpack and want me to hold the leash end, attaching it to my belt. But he would also try to get me to stay near the baby too. 

It was funny for some but I knew what he was doing. And by the worried looks Merle and Daryl were shooting us, they realized as well. He was protecting the baby from Sirius. And if Sirius noticed, he hasn't said anything.

With the spring came the planting of the crops. Hershel took the lead but all of us except Nichelle worked on it. Even Tiny and Thorin helped to plant seeds. It was too cute because Daryl had brought back some kids gardening sets of aprons with little tools and matching gloves. They were flowery but very cute.

Our food supplies have slowly dwindled. Or rather, the supplies that the group knows about. Because we still have all those bags of shrunken supplies hiding in the transfiguered roof of our RV. So we're going to go on more supply runs.

We're not just driving off though. We have maps of the area and places marked for us to hit. Glenn and Maggie already hit a day care center and a pharmacy next to it. Carol led T dog and Brently through the houses nearby. They each came back with a trunk load of food, mostly cans.

Beth has stopped teasing her father and sister. I guess she realized that she was just shoving them further away. They've grown closer, more accepting and trusting. Beth was really shocked when Hershel complimented her aim during training. And Maggie stated that she'd take Beth on a run anyday.


	2. Shopping

Chapter 2: shopping

Beth hops up in the truck, sliding along to the middle. I climb in, passing Thorin to her while Daryl climbs behind the wheel. We're going on a supply run.

It won't be far, maybe a half hour out. We're going to a small group of shops that begin with a pharmacy and end at a shoe store. The ones between include a baby store, a toy store called a sensory shop, and a pizza place.

It's probably a bad idea for us to have Thorin out but he's been clingy lately when one of us leaves. Beth insisted on going to pick out the supplies we need from the baby store and I'm coming to shrink a bunch of it for easy transport. Thorin refused to remain behind so we agreed to bring him along.

We park a half mile down the road. It's too dangerous to have the truck too close. What if we have to run from a herd? We'll need distance so we're not in danger. Plus a vehicle means people and we're not the only survivors out in the world.

Beth and I walk on either side of Thorin, holding his hand. His leash is attached to my belt and we both have a gun out and ready. Daryl leads us, cautious and watchful.

We start at shoe store with the plan to work our way back to the pharmacy. There's a walker in the shop and the front glass is broken in so we have to be careful. I scoop Thorin up, cautious of the glass around us. Daryl takes out the walker, calling 'clear'.

Beth takes point here, searching the aisles and grabbing boots and running shoes. She has everyone's sizes memorized so it's an easy task. Then she holds the bag of shoes out to me so I shrink it, tucking it into my bag.

We move back through the broken front to the sidewalk. Three walkers are stumbling across the road. I hit two while Daryl takes out the closest one.

We pass the pizza shop, nothing will be good there anyways. But the toy shop is interesting. It's also broken and somewhat ransacked but there's a lot left behind.

Thoring wiggled in my arms, eager to explore. We are cautious to do a second walkthrough first to be sure it's safe. Then I set him down and we get to work grabbing and bagging items up. 

There's the usual toys like kids kitchen sets and play clothes for different professions that we grab. Then theres cars and trucks, some light up and some are made of wood. There's building blocks and foam mats, puffy cushions and hanging chairs. There's even little metal shopping carts. 

It's the work of almost two hours but we get it all shrunken and squirreled away. Then it's time for the baby shop. I use magic to vanish the metal gate that's locked down in front of it. Another spell gets us in the door.

I warn Beth not to go crazy in here but I doubt she'll listen. Daryl stays by the door to keep watch while the three of us get to work. We shrink cribs and playpen, strollers and dressers. We load bags with clothes of various sizes and take all of the bottles, pacifiers, and medicines they have. 

We stay over two hours in this store simply because there's so much little stuff. Daryl gives a warning whistle to call us back to the front. We've been gone a long time already and we still have the pharmacy to hit.

The pharmacy is the worst hit by the raids. There's several walkers inside so I keep a hold of Thorin while Daryl and Beth take them out. Even when the last one falls we're all still on edge.

The food shelves are bare, as is the water and beer. Priorities are different for some, I suppose. And the medicine shelves are heavily picked over. But we gather what's left before moving over to the baby section. Here we grab the remaining diapers, wipes, and cans of formula. All of which are shrunken down.

The bark of a gun sounds and we all duck down. Daryl curses, glancing at his bleeding arm before standing to return fire. I push Thorin down by my feet as Beth and I stand to join him.

It looks like seven men are spread out on different aisles and unfortunately they have us pinned down. My bullet takes out one while Daryl' s arrow takes out another. Beth takes a guys ear. Then we duck down as bullets come our way.

This continues, gunfire exhanged on both sides. My gun clicks empty and I curse. A bullet striking next to Beth shocks me into realizing what I'm forgetting. I'm so accustomed to doing things the muggle way that I don't think of the spells I have.

A shield spell bursts from my wand in time to stop a bullet an inch from Daryl. He flinches, startled, then returns fire. With the shield spell in place we're safe for now. And together we pick them off until it's all quiet.

We don't stick around. I pass the bag to Beth and snatch up Thorin so we can run. We slip out the back and hurry along the road, dodging a half dozen walkers as we go.

Beth jumps in the same time as Daryl. I unlatch Thorins leash, shoving him in Beth's lap and grab the handle. Pain erupts in my skull. A girl screams.


	3. People are a headache

Chapter 3: people are a headache

I wake to a blinding headache. My right eye burns as I blink past the blood dripping down. I try to wipe it away but my hands are tied behind my back, my fingers going numb.

I blink around the room, unable to focus without my glasses. But I see a table in front of me and dark walls just outside the single dangling lightbulb. I blink a few more times as if I can force myself to see better. 

"You're awake now I see," a charming voice calls. "Don't suppose you want to tell me why you attacked my men."

I blink at the guy but all I can tell is he's tall and white with dark hair. He must realize because he huffs in amusement, stepping forward to slip my glasses on. I flinch back all the same but at least now I can see.

The room is barren, nothing but me, the guy talking, and a Hispanic man leaning against the wall behind him. I focus on the leader, noticing the pale blue eyes looking back coldly. He smiles a serpents smile, his voice pleasant but also not, "I've got a few questions for you, son. Think you're up for that?"

"How long..." I cough, struggling to speak, "How long was I out?"

"Only an hour," the leader answers, oozing a false soothing tone.

An hour. Daryl will have gotten back to the prison by them. Which means help is coming. Unless...

I eye the man, wondering at his motive here. These guys attacked us but it's possible they lied to him to avoid trouble. Only with a glance at his eyes I know that's a lie. He's a monster as certainly as voldemort ever was, cold and calculating but charmingly manipulative.

"My friends?" I ask, leaving the question hanging.

"We have them here," he answers but there's a tick at the corner of his mouth, a muscle jumps, so he may be lying.

"Matt and Christy?" I ask, because if he had them then he'll know their names.

He nods his head solemnly, "Yes, they're here too."

Only the muscle jumps again. And there's a flash of anger in his eyes, gone as soon as it appears. He doesnt have them, they got away. Which is good. Because I don't want this guy around my family.

Daryl will have speed off, getting home as quick as he could. Then he'd tell Sirius and Merle and they'll come get me. But how long will that take? Should I stall? Should I stay quiet?

I must've gotten lost in thought because I jump when the man touches my shoulder. I eye him warily as he leans closer, that false soothing tone drenched in southern charm, "Don't you worry, son. We'll take care of you. You just have to answer a few questions."

I look away, more to buy time than anything. He leans closer, sweet honey poisoned words whispered out like a secret, "We'll let you stay here. You'll like it here."

"Come into my parlour says the spider to the fly," I answer.

He smirks, "Youre a smart boy. We can go the easy route, or... the hard way."

I open my mouth to answer but a sudden noise drowns out everything else. It's music, loud music. The man stands angrily, shouting to the other man as both cover their ears.

Words are being sung, ones I recognize. I laugh aloud, the sound lost in the music being played. I guess I don't have to stall for time anymore.

"I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND I RAISE MY WEARY HEAD...

"GOT AN OLD COAT FOR A PILLOW AND THE EARTH WAS LAST NIGHT'S BED

"I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING, ONLY GOD KNOWS WHERE I'VE BEEN

"I'M A DEVIL ON THE RUN, A SIX GUN LOVER, A CANDLE IN THE WIND

Both men scramble out of the room. No doubt they're going to try to shut off the noise. But I recognize a sonorous charm when I hear it and that is definitely spelled loud.

"WHEN YOU'RE BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD, THEY SAY YOU'RE BORN IN SIN

"WELL AT LEAST THEY GAVE ME SOMETHING I DIDN'T HAVE TO STEAL OR HAVE TO WIN

"YEAH THEY TELL ME THAT I'M WANTED, THAT I'M A WANTED MAN

"I'M A COLT IN YOUR STABLE, I'M WHAT CAIN WAS TO ABLE, MISTER CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Gunshots like faint pops sound. The music nearly drowns it all out but it falls silent for a second, a heartbeat. Then it returns with an earthshaking blast.

"I'M GOING OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY, TAKE ME NOW BUT KNOW THE TRUTH

"I'M GOING OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY

LORD I NEVER DREW FIRST, BUT I DREW FIRST BLOOD, I'M NO ONE'S SON, CALL ME YOUNG GUN...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is blaze of glory by Jon bon jovi because that's just the sort of thing Sirius and Merle would do as a distraction
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy the story😊💐


	4. Blaze of glory

Chapter 4: blaze of glory

Another explosion rocks the building. White specks fall from the ceiling as gunshots sound from the hall outside the door. A vicious snarling echoes closer and I relax, knowing that Padfoot is almost here.

"YOU ASK ME ABOUT MY CONSCIENCE AND I OFFER YOU MY SOUL

"YOU ASK IF I'LL GROW TO BE A WISE MAN, WE'LL I ASK IF I'LL GROW OLD

"YOU ASK ME IF IVE KNOWN LOVE AND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SING SONGS IN THE RAIN

"WELL IVE SEEN LOVE COME AND IVE SEEN IT SHOT DOWN, IVE SEEN IT DIE IN VAIN

The door blasts open, shattering splinters into the room. Black fur rushes in, bloody teeth bared in fury. It only takes him a moment to look around and be sure there's no one else here.

"SHOT DOWN IN A BLAZE OF GLORY, 

Another explosion rocks the building.

"TAKE ME NOW BUT KNOW THE TRUTH

CAUSE I'M GOING DOWN IN A BLAZE OF GLORY

A loud rushing sound that makes me think of dragons flame comes from outside.

"LORD I NEVER DREW FIRST BUT I DREW FIRST BLOOD

"I'M THE DEVILS SON, CALL ME YOUNG GUN...

Sirius transforms, flicking a wand and vanishing the ropes keeping me bound. I hurry to stand, rubbing my hands to bring back the feeling in numb fingers. He passes me my gun, then he transforms back into padfoot.

"EACH NIGHT I GO TO BED, I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP 

I follow him out into the hall. There's bodies here, torn apart by him obviously. I jump over them, only slipping twice.

"NO I AIN'T LOOKING FOR FORGIVENESS, BUT BEFORE IM SIX FOOT DEEP

"LORD I GOT TO ASK A FAVOR, AND I HOPE YOU'LL UNDERSTAND

We reach the end of the hall and sunlight blinds me. Even over the music I can hear the screams and gunshots. I blink out at the chaos around us.

"CAUSE I'VE LIVED LIFE TO THE FULLEST, LET THIS BOY DIE LIKE A MAN

"STARINGN DOWN A BULLET LET ME MAKE MY FINAL STAND...

Most of the buildings are on fire. People runs screaming as walkers overwhelm them. The front gate is destroyed and more and more walkers are pouring inside.

"SHOT DOWN IN A BLAZE OF GLORY TAKE ME NOW BUT KNOW THE TRUTH

"Harry!" A voice shouts. It takes me a moment to spot him across the street flooded with walkers. Carl hides against a car bumper but no sign of either parent.

"I'M GOING OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY

"LORD I NEVER DREW FIRST BUT I DREW FIRST BLOOD

I shoot the walkers closest to him. There's no way for me to get to him but we need to get out. The main gate is lost and the buildings are burning or collapsed.

"AND I'M NO ONES SON, CALL ME YOUNG GUN... I'M A YOUNG GUN...

Padfoot transforms back to Sirius. I try to point to Carl. I try to tell him. But even without the music blaring it's just too noisy.

Sirius grabs my arm, apparating us away. We reappear in the woods, Merle and Daryl both nearby. There's two long metal weapons still smoking on the ground and a case for each is next to them. I briefly remember Merle exclaiming over rocket launchers so that must be what they are.

I open my mouth to tell them about Carl but a rushing sound fills the air. A large cloud of fire swirls up only to crash back down. Merle curses, both brothers tense.

Sirius transforms again, staying close but sniffing and running back and forth with his hackles raised. Merle pulls me along, guiding me so I don't fall. I shiver, pressing closer to him.

Sirius was protecting me, I know that. But he killed so many people. Not just adults, kids were there too. I can hope and pray that some made it but honestly, I doubt any did. Not with that last burst of fire.

Padfoot jumps up into the back bed of the truck. Merle passes me up before joining Daryl in the cab. He leaves the back window open so I sit down beside it. Padfoot presses against me, licking and sniffing me over in concern.

I pet him, brushing fingers through his fur. He lays his body over my legs, more to shield me than anything. I scratch behind his ears and hug his neck.

Sirius is my godfather, my family. I love him, I do. But there are times that he scares me.

I tell myself that he did it to protect me. I tell myself that they attacked us first. But regardless of what lies I tell myself, I'll still know the truth.

Sirius is a monster. He's capable of killing anyone, man, woman, or child. The only thing that saves me is he sees me as his, his godson, his pup. 

Yes, he's a monster. Yes, I'm afraid. But the world is a horrible place now. Maybe the only way to survive is to have a monster on your side. Sorta like picking the devil to protect you in hell.

I scratch his ears and stroke my fingers through his fur. He rumbles a pleased growl, licking and sniffing me again. He's worried, checking me for injuries. Because he loves me too.

I hug his neck, releasing a breath and letting go of the guilt. It's not an easy thing. I don't want innocent people to die. But I can't let the guilt weigh me down either. So I breath in the scent of pack and breath out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice who isn't among the bodies I'm sure 😆😆 and Carl survived. That kids a crafty little booger.


	5. Coming home

Chapter 5: coming home

The drive isn't far and it passes in silence. I barely notice when we pass the gate. Although I do notice that Sirius transforms laying down only to sit up and check that no one noticed.

He's still clingy and territorial. He snarls when T dog and Glenn come over to help us down. I squeeze his arm to remind him to stop and it helps some. But his teeth stay elongated and his ears have a slight point that's mostly hidden by his hair. I guess today he's more Padfoot than Sirius.

Merle comes around to help me climb down. Maybe to act as a buffer between Sirius and the others too. Then Beth barrels into me, Thorin in her arms leaping into mine. The only thing stopping us from hitting the floor is Merle catching the three of us when I swayed.

Both have obviously been crying. Thorin wiggled until I'm holding him more secure. Beth pulls back to press relieved kisses all over my face. I blush but don't shrug them off.

The group is visibly relieved that I'm back although several exclaim over the blood on me. I get dragged inside and pushed down on the bench seat at the table closest to the cells. Hershel is already there with his bag. Carol sets a bowl of water on the table with a washrag that Beth takes up.

Between the three of them I'm cleaned up quickly. Hershel says I don't have a concussion so beyond the headache and bruises I should be fine. Although he glances over at a pacing Padfoot often, a disappointed frown set each time their eyes meet.

I tell everyone what happened, which isn't much. I tell them about the room and the man called Governor. I tell them that the walls fell to a herd and Sirius and the brothers used the distraction to get in and save me. I assure them that the men never had time to hurt me.

I don't tell them about Carl or what him being there means. I push the image of him out of my mind. There's nothing I can do now and telling them will only upset them more. So I don't tell them, I don't shove that burden on their shoulders.

I tell them I'm tired so I head to bed early even if there's a few hours until the others bed down. Mostly, I want the quiet. And Thorin won't let go, clinging almost pain fully to my neck.

Beth clings to my side, one arm around my waist and the other petting Thorins back. Sirius stops his pacing to trail us, still growling low under his breath. No doubt he'll transform as soon as we're hidden away.

I'm surprised when Merle and Daryl follows us. I figured they would stay down but they probably want to avoid the questions that are sure to come. Daryl closes the door as the last one through, even if the missing windows take away some of our privacy. At least we're high enough up that the others can't see in normally.

Beth pulls me down to our palette, insisting we lay on our sides faceing each other with Thorin trapped between us. She presses more kisses to my cheek, nuzzling her nose against mine. I let out a sigh, breathing in her scent and Thorins, squeezing them both just a touch tighter.

Padfoot transforms, crawling up behind my legs to rest his head on my hip. He's a good solid weight, a warm comfort. I pat his head, my other hand stroking Beth's hair. Daryl and Merle move around us, shielding us.

Beth tells me what happened from their side. Her voice thick with emotion when she explains how the guy came out of nowhere and hit me with a bat. She says I dropped instantly and Daryl had to drive off because more people were coming.

Sirius snarls but I press my foot back against his hip, nudging him to show I'm alright. Beth swallows nervously, eyeing the massive beast. I rub her arm, trying to reassure her that he won't attack. I won't let him.

She says that as soon as they made it back to the prison they hurriedly explained to Merle and Sirius what happened. Both insisted on immediately heading back out which left her and Thorin to explain to the others. She admits to being a bit hysterical and that Thorin wouldn't calm down either but she trusted the guys to bring me back.

Merle takes over then. He explains that when they drew the walkers from the prison, they trapped them on a football field. The walkers were still there, fenced in. So they used the truck to lure them along while Sirius tracked me.

I tense up at that. Honestly I thought they just got over run. I thought that the brothers probably blew up the main gate but I had no idea that they lead that herd to those people.

I let out a breath, squeezing Merles wrist and pressing my leg against Sirius side. I'm not mad at them. I know they had to work quickly and didn't have time to really check the area first. They couldn't have known there would be innocents there. If they had then Merle and Daryl would be been more careful.

No, I already decided not to be upset with them. They came to save me, to protect me. I won't blame them for something they couldn't have known. And I won't make their guilt worse by telling them what I saw. Let them think it was a bad group. Better that then them hurting themselves with guilt.

We're all still shaken, clinging to arms and legs. Each of us reaching out to touch and pet and stroke the others, relieved that we're alright. Sleep doesn't vome but that's alright. We fall into a pleasant dozing state like this.


	6. Something new (mature content)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content:  
You can skip if you want. 
> 
> This is a sort of reestablishing that they're alive and together. It's them going wild like the first time smoking weed only less innocent.

Chapter 6:something new

I wake, if it can be called waking, still engulfed by our pack. Padfoot still pressed behind my legs. Although he's turned and wiggled so that his head is on my feet. Beth's leg is over my hip with Merles hand on her knee. Daryl is actually curled around Beth, a rare thing, with his hand under her shirt to clutch at her waist. Thorin has managed to curl himself so that his head is under my chin. Beth's hand is clinging to buried in my hair as her cheek rests on Thorins head.

We're all warm and comfortable but the only one really asleep is Thorin. Beth blinks up, whispering a soft apology. I smile back, assuring her, "There's nothing to worry about. They didn't have a chance to hurt me and honestly, I'm grateful that they didn't get their hands on you or Thorin."

She watches me as if she could look through my eyes to see my soul. I smile, amused at thinking even for a moment that's she's anything other than muggle. But muggle or not, she's my family, my pack.

With slow and halting movements, she presses her lips to mine. I don't think of the disastrous kiss with Cho. I don't think about how chapped both our lips are. Instead I feel warmth inside my chest. And with a smile I kiss her back.

It's a slow languid kiss, warm and relaxed. It's not impassioned or a battle. It's a soothing touch, a loving stroke, a gentle taste. Her fingers scratch at my scalp in a way that makes my fingers tingle and my stomach tense. 

Merle huffs a laugh, rolling back but not pulling away. Instead he pulls at my hip, forcing me to roll to my back. I figure he just wants us to stop so they don't have to witness... whatever it is were doing.

But Daryl and Merle tug Beth over while Daryl pulls Thorin away. The sweet boy almost doesn't let go but he's sleepy enough that Daryl is able to shift him over to his other side. Which leaves Beth straddling my waist. I huff a laugh, uncertain but trusting them.

She kisses me again, her fingers scratching at my scalp in a way that makes my toes curl and my stomach tense. I shift, gasping in surprise at the sensation that rushes over me. She grins into the kiss, pressing herself against me in a way that has warmth rushing through me.

Merle pets my hair, grinning amused when I glance over. Daryl has rolled back to watch us, Thorin hidden behind him still asleep. And I worry for a moment that we shouldn't do this with a kid in the room. But then she shifts her hips and I bite back a groan.

Daryls leaning closer, pressing kisses to my arm and her shoulder. She moves again and I moan, pressing back up against her. I reach for Daryl, needing something stable to hold on to. He lets me cup his cheek, stroke his hair. 

She sits up, her eyes wild and a smug smile on her face that she definitely learned from Merle. He must think the same because he huffs a laugh, petting both of our sides while still staying back. Daryl doesn't even feign disinterest.

He sits up, kissing her while pressing his hip against mine. He leans down to kiss me as hands come around her waist. I don't really notice Sirius kissing her. If I did I would wonder about it more. But I get lost in the way Daryl devours my mouth. 

Warmth builds up in a way that worryingly reminds me of accidental magic. My feet plant on the floor so I can push up against her while most of my focus is still lost in the kiss. I notice the weight on my thighs as another person but it seems irrelevant.

Daryl pulls back with a chuckling whisper, "Knew ya liked my kiss."

I would laugh or tease him back but hands unbutton my pants and I look up shocked. Sirius is behind Beth, kissing her neck and shoulder while pressing her forward. He has one hand on her breast but the other is encouraging her hands at my pants. I don't even think to wonder where her shirt went.

Part of me thinks we should stop. I doubt this is how things are supposed to go. But then Daryl presses forward with another kiss, his fingers scratching my scalp making me moan aloud. I will probably be embarrassed later.

Merle hums, watching us all. Although there's a cautious glint to his eyes as he looks over me and Beth. She's riding high on pleasure, her face and chest flushed. But then her hands are on me and between that and Daryl kissing me it's just too much.

I do blush when my brain finally catches up. There's a mess on Beth's hands and my stomach. Daryl laughs low, amused but not mocking. Beth laughs out, eyes bright and looking quite proud of herself.

I could either behave like a blushing virgin and let them do all the work or I can give as good as them. I shake off the embarrassment. I want to make them feel good too.

I sit up, pushing at Sirius who backs off chuckling drunkenly. Beth grins, letting me pull her into a kiss, far more heated than our others have been. I even flip us over so I'm pressing her down. Granted it was an impulsive decision but she moans into the kiss, clearly pleased.

Merle starts whispering suggestions that while helpful sound absolutely filthy. It has my stomach tightening and both of us moan. Daryl moves over me as Sirius takes his place. His body folding over mine to 'show me how it's done'.

His hands guide mine to her breasts. They're soft and warm and I lean down to press kisses all over flushed flesh. He guides me further, kissing down her stomach as he slips back to the side to kiss her again.

Beth is the one to unbutton her pants although the three of us help her pull them off. Merle shifts down on the palate to continue his whispered instructions. Daryls hand moves with mine to feel her, to touch her. But I move alone to kiss her there.

Daryl shifts down to mirror Merle. Both whisper instructions to me and I do my best to follow. She's getting louder and the tension in my belly is winding tighter again. Its wonderful, powerful even, although very messy too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I worried about posting this one but this is more about Beth needing to feel alive and needing the reassurance that the others are alive with her. For Harry, it's him trying something new and giving back to Beth when she needs him if that makes sense


	7. No regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the comments and kudos💐💐💐💐💐💐💐 y'all are awesome❤😊

Chapter 7:no regrets

Breakfast wasn't as awkward as I expected it to be. Not that we would be awkward. Our pack has grown too close for that. After that first time Sirius masturbated in front of us it became an acceptable thing to do. Even Beth has rubbed herself a time or two while around us. We're just always careful not to let Thorin see or know.

No, I knew we would be okay. And I don't even mind that I can still taste her on my tongue. But I expected awkwardness to come from the others because when her body spasmed, her pleasure peaked, she was loud enough for them to hear. And I have no idea if they heard me but it's possible. Especially with how the cell block echoes.

But no one said a word about it. We came down together, Thorin clinging to my neck still. Of course we cleaned ourselves up first. But no one said a word or made a fuss.

Carol had breakfast cooked and she and Glenn were passing out plates to everyone at the tables. They passed us ours as we sat down. Maggie passed us cups of coffee and juice for Thorin. Hershel even said a blessing which Merle, Daryl, and Sirius ignored. But no anger or accusations came.

Jag asks, "Are we gonna risk going back for the supplies?"

Merle nods, "We blasted them good and we're confident that it'll be safe to go back for it. We'll do that today."

Nearly everyone volunteered which had Merle whistling to be heard, "We ain't leaving our home unprotected. It'll be me, Daryl, Sirius, and Jag. Brently will be on guard til noon, Glenn after that. Understood?"

Everyone blinks confused but it's Glenn that asks, "Did you actually just call us by name?"

"Well hell, Chinaman," he drawls amused, "I don't have'ta if ya dont like it."

That released the tension with snorts of laughter. I followed them outside as they loaded up in the truck. No doubt one of the brothers will take Jag to check the area so that Sirius can resize supplies. 

Sirius pulls me aside to whisper, "Silencing spells, Pup, now quit blushing."

I sputter a moment, blushing more which makes him laugh. But at least it explains why Maggie hasn't threatened us yet. I hug him, giving in to the urge to laugh in relief.

"You be safe," I tell him, "Because we're Pack and I can't loose you."

He squeezes me tighter, whispering a promise against my shoulder. I step back to let Beth hug him too. I move to Daryl next, squeezing his waist briefly in a hug with a whispered, "Be safe." Then I do the same with Merle who holds me a second longer.

We watch them leave, worried but trusting that they'll come back safe. Hershel calls us back to work. He and his daughters are in charge of the garden so they direct us to water the garden beds. Thorin stays at my heels, eager to help and unwilling to go more than arms length away from me.

Glenn and I carry buckets of water from the courtyard where the pipes let out water to the planters in the fields. Thorin pulls a small half full bucket with us, unwilling to not carry something. And while the work is simple it keeps us busy.

Lunch is spent inside. Glenn eats quickly before hurrying to replace Brently. Nichelle passes her son Gamba around. Tiny insists on hovering over him regardless of who holds him with steady reminders to everyone to be gentle.

Thorin stays at my side, insisting on the dino pack with the leash again. I let him stay pressed close but I also insist he eats his food. I don't want him skipping meals just because hes afraid I'll leave. So I keep an arm around him and talk to him nearly constantly to show he has my attention.

Glenn calls out by mid afternoon that he can see them coming. We all gather together, ready to help unload supplies. T dog and Brently run down to open the outer gate, killing the three walkers that gathered there.

A large yellow moving truck comes through first, bumping up the road with Jag and Daryl within. The truck comes next with Merle and Sirius in the cab. It's not until they're nearly to the second gate that I notice the other people in the back.

The first to step down is a tall black woman with long dreadlocks and a sword on her back. The next is a familiar blonde figure, Amy. A small bundle lays in her arms, clutched protectively.

Then a smaller figure jumps down, running up the hill and shouting our names. Carl! He's alive!

He slams hard into my waist, hugging me. I hold him too. It's just... I thought he was dead. I thought there was no way he could survive the explosion. I thought...

He releases me to leap into Carols arms. The others are crowded around, petting and calling his name in disbelief and relief. Amy is quickly pulled into what has become a group hug of sorts.

Sirius looks over to me with a look that's clearly asking if he did right. I grin, so very proud of him in that moment. Because he did this for me, I know he did. A nearly hysterical laugh seems to bubble up from several people.

I hug Sirius, whispering praise against his shoulder. He clings back tightly. I didn't expect him to help others, even if we knew them before. But he did this for me, took a risk for me, and I'm grateful for that.

The black woman's name is Michonne. As it turns out, she had found Andrea and Amy when the farm fell. Andrea had gotten sick during the winter, pneumonia. And the Govenor had stumbled upon them.

Amy praises Michonne but she praises the Governor too. Michonnes face twists in displeasure at that. Apparently Andrea was dating the guy. Amy even says that there was a doctor there that was training her to assist him.

The baby is Lori's. Carl introduces her around proudly as his baby sister Evelyn. Amy whispers to us that Lori was still healing from the c section when the bombs hit. Carl admits he doesn't know where Rick was when they were attacked.

Amy had grabbed the baby and run out. Michonne had found Carl, pulling him and a little blonde girl that took a lot of coaxing to get out of the truck. Her name is Mika.

Michonne had seen Amy with the baby and dragged her to run with them. Andrea escaped with them too but she had gotten bitten, shielding her sister. They all go quiet at that.

Beth and Carol take over ushering the group inside. Beth takes Evelyn, assuring them that we have formula to feed her as they haven't had anything for her so far. Carl especially looks relieved at that.


	8. No threats

Chapter 8: no threats

We take care to remain close to the prison for the next few weeks. If these five made it out then it's possible that others did as well. But so far we've not seen any other survivors.

They don't know. They don't even suspect. I'm not sure why everyone unanimously decided to keep quiet about it but no one has told them that it was us. They think it was pure coincidence.

Carl thinks that they saved me somehow and just hadn't had time to get me to the doctor. Amy thinks the same. The only one to look suspicious at my stumbling explaination of how I got there is Michonne.

Merle says shes a smart one. He thinks she already figured out that the Govenor was bad news. He also thinks she suspects we were behind the attack. But he thinks she's keeping quiet about it because Carl admitted that he saw me covered in blood and obviously wounded.

Amy seems to have claimed little Evelyn for her own. Although she will often pass the baby to Carol or Carl when she's fussy. Carl says his mother insisted on the name, her grandmother's name. Apparently she's big on family names because Carl is named for his father's father.

Hershel has pulled Amy aside on several occasions to talk medicine and healing with her. As she still wants to learn he's agreed to make her his apprentice. That way if anything happens to him we'll still have someone to patch us up.

Nichelle has gotten stronger and will often walk around with little Gam in a wrap. Tiny, of course, is her ever present little helper. And since Thorin is still clinging to me and insisting on the leash before we even leave our room, I often work alongside her so the kids can play.

The new little girl, Mika, is a sweetheart, kind and helpful. Carol seems to have taken her under her wing. Especially since she often wants to help at mealtimes which Carol tends to cover most days. So it's become the norm to see those two working side by side to prepare our food.

Sirius will sometimes sneak away with Amy. He's more subtle about it now than at the farm. I guess he's trying not to stir up trouble now as this is our home. And while he's always grinning and strutting around afterwards, he doesn't boast like he did on the farm. Although he's also not serious about her which I do hope she knows.

Beth and I have played around some more. Never going all the way and often with the pack providing commentary or advice. Sirius always casts silencing spells on the room as well as spells on Thorin so he'll stay asleep and unable to hear.

It has lead to some interesting results though. Beth walks taller now, more confident I guess. Merle and Daryl allow some touch when others could see where they shied away before. And I no longer turn into a blushing mess afterwards.

I think Hershel knows were doing something more than kissing. He hasn't asked outright. But one day while we were working in the garden with Nichelle and the little ones around us, he commented, almost idly, "At least with the two babies around, we don't have need of another any time soon. Two is more than enough, don't you think?"

If not for the pointed look I probably wouldn't have understood. As it was, my face flamed red, even my ears burned. I turned into a stuttering mess for a few seconds to his amusement before he seemed to take pity on me. With a consoling clap on the shoulder he added, "I'm sure that's nothing we have to worry about anytime soon, son."

I hurry to agree because the last thing I want is him thinking I'm trying to get Beth pregnant. We're no where ready for that! And at least he doesn't think the others are involved which would probably piss him off or give him a heart attack.

Daryl, Merle, and Sirius have been going out hunting most days. They've brought back some meat to cook but other animals they've managed to catch alive. Although Daryl admits that Sirius uses magic to knock them unconscious without hurting them so that they can bring them back alive.

They've brought back four deer, two doe with one being pregnant still and two small fawn. The children adore them but we're careful not to overwhelm them. For the most part they have the run of the back yard area.

They also caught three horses which to my understanding wasn't easy. The first was sickly with an injured leg. Hershel has been tending to her, nursing her back to health. The second and third were larger, stronger horses. We put them in the back yard area with the deer. 

They can even wonder into the kitchen and dining room since we haven't fixed the hole in the wall yet. Daryl says we need a barn anyways so we can let them use that. We just have to clean out some of the ruined equipment that's still in there.

Daryl came back one day, covered in mud but proud as he showed off a fat female pig and her six newborn babies. All three went out the next day and came back with four more. Apparently they were staying along a creekbed and it was sheer dumb luck that he caught the momma. She then gave birth in the truck on the way back.

They tried to bring back a cow that they were tracking but by the time they found it a herd had as well. Thankfully the herd was too busy eating the cow to notice them so they got away. But they keep going out looking for more.


	9. Outside the gate

Chapter 9: outside the gate

It took a month for Thorin to finally stop clinging. Not that it's a bother or anything because it really isn't. I adore the little guy, love him as my own. But from time to time I would like to get outside the walls.

Merle decided we'll have another run. Glenn will stay in charge while the pack, minus Beth and Thorin, as well as Brently, Maggie, and Michonne head out. There's a neighborhood in the opposite direction from the community that the Govenor ran. Merle thinks it likely we may find some goodies there.

The neighborhood while not old is also not new. It's lived in but it also looks like the homes haven't had more than one owner yet. And they look well maintained, nice roofs and red brick fronts.

We split, the pack taking one side of the street while the others take the other side. There are a few walkers but they fall easily to Daryl's bow and Michonne's sword. Since the walkers were still roaming and there aren't any already down, that likely means no one's really searched here before.

The first two houses are nice. We clear the cabinets of food as well as taking the towels and blankets, medicine and bandages and any clothes that appeal to us. Sirius pulls out several dresses for the ladies back home. He says they should get something nice if they want it and the dresses are pretty, bright and colorful.

We find a house that belonged to a male couple who had two large yellow labs. There's an abundance of pictures on the wall as well as albums on the shelf in the living room. It looks like they went on a lot of vacations, several with really beautiful scenery behind them. And they were clearly in love, that's obvious in all the little touches of the house.

We take their furniture because the living room set is very nice and cushiony. Merle and Daryl have been talking about us taking over the inner guard tower simply to give us more privacy and because there's an extra little room attached, an office kinda thing that can become Thorins room. Then Sirius wont have to put up silencing spells each time we get up to mischief.

We also take the towels and blankets from the hall closet. They had a gym set up in their spare room with free weights, a treadmill, and a bench and bar thing. We took those as well. Sirius says we can set them up in our old room since we're going to move to the tower. There was some equipment at the prison but it was tossed out because of all the blood and filth on it.

Daryl searches the bedroom, tossing jackets and some really nice brown leather boots on the bed. One of the jackets is a dark blue with little pins on the left chest area. I slip it on, amused at how big it is on me but liking it all the same.

Daryl says, "One of the guys was a Marine. Merles got a jacket just like it."

"Think he'll want this one?" I ask, unsure if I want to keep it or give it up.

Daryl grins back, probably understanding, "Naw, you keep that one. Looks good on ya."

I grin back, getting to work gathering the jackets and boots. They have a good selection and this'll come in handy when winter hits. Especially the boots because the ones from the shoe shop aren't as good quality.

The moving truck as well as the pickup are full so we call it a day. Merle says we'll come back tomorrow with the van as well and more people so we can get more done. Everyone's happy with the haul, furniture and clothes aside there was plenty of food in the cupboards which is always needed.

We set to work unloading it all. Merle and Daryl both grumble like angry bears about their backs the whole time. So as soon as dinner is eaten I drag them both off to our room.

Both are comfortable enough that it's nothing to ask them to strip and lay down. I still start slow, with their hands. And I start again with Merle because he's not as jumpy about touch as Daryl often is. 

I'm careful around their scars, soothing their aches while careful not to press too hard or move wrong. Merle is loud and I forgot to cast a silencing spell. It's only as laughter drifts up from the room and I freeze, blushing embarrassed, that I remember.

"It's a fucking massage, ya assholes!" Merle shouts out earning more laughter.

At least they don't get mad. I finish at Merles feet before moving on to Daryl. Again I start at the hand and wrist, moving slow and checking that he's okay so far. He smiles, an affectionate smile that makes my chest warm and my lips grin. 

It's nice to take care of them. So often they're the ones taking care of us so it's nice to pamper them from time to time. Especially when I get to see them both so relaxed, so trusting. It makes me puff up like an idiot but I love it. Just like I love making Beth moan and shiver and cry out in pleasure.


	10. Learning to ride

Chapter 10: learning to ride

Okay, maybe it was Beth's idea first. It's just that I didn't think of it. The motorcycles we have are noisy and while fast they can't carry much. So they're good for scouting but not for normal use. Anyway, like I said, it was Beth's idea first. 

We moved up into the inner guard tower. It's actually roomy up there. Especially once Sirius banished the equipment and monitors that were rigged up everywhere. Beth and I put up curtains and scrubbed away the bloodstains. It turned out really nice.

The small office became Thorins room. He actually got excited about it. And Daryl painted the walls a bright yellowish green. Merle and Sirius found a toddler bed in the shape of a red race car at one of the houses so we brought it back for him. 

We put our super stuffed king sized mattress on the floor like we had it in the cell block. We even have rugs so our feet won't freeze when we get up. We each have a dresser lining the walls but there was also a supply closet that we cleaned out and filled with our clothes. 

Anyway, we were settled down for bed which feels odd without Thorin between us. I doubt he'll stay the whole night in his own bed but he might. But we were relaxing while I massaged Sirius's back, something he enjoys but rarely asks for.

"I want to learn to ride a bike," Beth says, her fingers stroking through Daryls hair where he's laying on her lap.

Merle huffs, "Ya daddy never bought ya a bike?"

"Not a bicycle," she rebukes amused, "a motorcycle. I want to ride a bike like y'alls."

Sirius glances up grinning, "Yeah, we could do that."

Merle and Daryl laugh, easily won over. Sirius reaches back to tap my knee, asking if I want to learn too. I agree, asking where we'll find bikes for us but Sirius says he has some shrunken in his bag. Apparently when I left he went on a shopping spree.

So first thing in the morning we head out. Merle leading on his bike while Beth rides with Daryl and I ride with Sirius. Thorin didn't like being left alone but we put a little plastic pool in the courtyard and filled it with water for him, Tiny, and Mika to play in. Carol and Nichelle promised to watch him while we're gone.

It's a little nerve racking to be honest. We go back to the neighborhood because the roads are clear and flat without any sharp turns or big obstacles. We've also cleared the houses so if we draw a herd it won't matter.

Now, I've ridden a lot of things in the last few years. I've ridden a broom, a hippogriph, a horse and even a thestrel. But none of them compare to the motorcycle.

It's wide beneath me, a bulky crome and black machine. So sitting on it isn't much different to sitting on a horse's saddle. But the handles feel a little too high to be comfortable. It keeps me sitting up straight but it makes me feel exposed too.

Sirius shows me how to start it. Merle is teaching Beth while Daryl keeps watch. Starting it is easy enough and the vibration of the engine is a little awkward but not bad. Beth gives a joyous shout when hers rumbles to life.

We start slow, sticking to the cove we're in. You can't drive too slow or the weight of the bike will knock you over. So I listen to the advice, relax as Sirius climbs on behind me. And I rev the engine, releasing the brake and shooting off.

I shout in shock, thrilled but no longer scared. Because I know this feeling, the feel of flying. It was brief, this long cove keeping us contained for now. But it's easy to learn to lean with the bike. Sirius whispering encouragement in my ear the whole time.

I glance over at Beth, grinning brightly. Merle holds her tight as she's less stable than me at it. At least Merle is laughing, not the least bit worried at her inexperience. And she's having the time of her life if the shouts of joy are anything to go by.

Sirius must feel that I'm ready because he urges me out of the cove. With a joyous shout we speed off. The first turn is a little jerky, true, but the rest are smooth. We fly up one road and down another, the engine roaring louder than the wind. We go faster, my body trembling with tension yet also the most relaxed I've been since we landed here.

Our third loop past the cove has Beth pulling out, Merle with her and Daryl following protectively. There's a few more walkers stumbling out now but they're easy to drop. And it does nothing to diminish our fun.

I circle the roads twice before Beth's willing to pick up speed. Once she does its a race between us. Merle and Sirius shouting encouragement over the wind as we're all laughing. It's a rush, a heart pounding blood pumping rush.

Neither of us want to stop but when Merle calls it we do, slowing first as we reenter the cove we started in. My body is trembling with the need to race again and by the look of it Beth is the same. Merle and Sirius slip off our bikes and climb on theirs. 

Then we're off again, shouting and laughing. The roads are open before us, the wind sweeping around us, and our pack riding strong. This is freedom, this is joy, this is perfect!


	11. The herd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments, love yall❤💐💐💐💐💐💐😊

Chapter 11: the herd

Glenn came slamming into the cell block, pale faced and out if breath. Only one word escaping him, "Herd!"

We rush out, weapons in hand while Merle issues orders. Merle and Daryl take the field tower, ordering me and Sirius to the second tower. Jag, Brently, and Carol take the rooftop as they're the next best shots. Michonne, T dog, Glenn, and Maggie run to the fence.

It's a sight to see, that's for sure. What is perhaps a mile and a half down the road, only barely visible, is a herd of walkers. It's hard to tell how many there are mostly because of the trees blocking the line of sight. But what is easy to see is that they're tightly packed together, stumbling along the road towards us.

Beth presses against my side, pale and shocked at the sheer amount. The last time we saw a herd was when we lost the farm. The time before that when we lost Sophia. So I'm not the only one tense with panic and worry.

Sirius casts a few spells at the fences to strengthen them. Even he's wide eyed as more and more of the herd becomes visible. Because there's no way that they'll pass us by. Not with the animals to draw them in.

"Can you silence the animals?" I ask, squeezing Sirius's arm. 

He blinks, frowning before hurrying around the towers balcony to face the back yard. I feel the magic cast but I don't know if it's enough. Beth and I share a steadying look, each gaining strength from the other. We refuse to loose anyone today!

Merle waves us over and as I'm faster I hurry. Daryl meets me at the base of the field tower. A hurried explaination of a dangerous plan comes out.

"We'll use the bikes to draw them off," he says, motioning me to hurry. "If they need to then Sirius and Merle can push out on theirs to lead more away."

I climb onto my bike asking, "We circling wide?"

"Naw," he answers, starting his own bike, "We gonna lead em to the football field we lead the last herd to. That aughta contain em."

Glenn and Maggie both look panicked when Daryl orders the gate opened. It's clear they want to argue but the bikes are already rumbling loudly. We slip out, lining the bikes up in the road and wating with our backs to the herd.

We hold still in the road, reving the engines and waiting for the herd. My palms are sweaty and my legs are trembling. I concentrate on breathing steadily even as my heart pounds and tension builds in my belly. 

Three minutes. Three long minute of pure adrenaline fuelled tension building up while we wait. Maggie and Glenn both muttering through the fence for us to go already but we hold.

The herd moved faster when they saw us but they were still a ways away. They do speed up, excited at the noise and the sight of possible food. I breath out slowly, ignoring the rushing in my ears to focus on Daryl as he whispers directions again.

Twenty seconds... Three minutes and twenty seconds now. They're close. They're nearly lined up with the fence, only a car length away. Daryl shakes his head so we hold.

Twenty five seconds... Three minutes and twenty five seconds. Two walkers fall, their heads bursting. So close the groans are louder than the engines. My magic is bubbling defensively at allowing a danger to get so close. Daryl revs again, holding my gaze to steady me. We wait.

Another four are shot down to buy us time. Fingers from one actually brush my back. Daryl nods. We both release the brake and shoot forward. 

I can breath again! Our movement urges the walkers on but we have to be careful to keep the herd together. We don't go far, a few hundred feet only to turn around. We speed back to them, turning just shy of the herd and revving the engins. As soon as they're close enough we take off again.

Again and again we taunt them, teasing them along. My whole body is trembling and my power is flickering under my skin like rumbles of lightening. Each time we let them get close only to speed off a little and circle back. It's a deadly dance that leaves my chest aching and my mouth dry.

The herd is a massive thing, tightly knit and extending back along the road more than ten car lengths. I can only tell that much when we crest a hill and taunt them on. They're falling over each other, pushing and shoving to reach us first. Daryl sees it too because he pales, cursing softly at the sheer number of them.

It's not far to the field but it feels that way. It takes us twenty minutes of constant heart pounding tension to reach it. The gate is still open and the filed is mostly clear. A few stragglers have wondered in but not enough to be a threat.

Daryl leads us up the sidewalk and onto the field. Our engines rev, calling and taunting the walkers that are fightin each other to reach us first. We speed in starts and stops to one end of the field. At least that was the plan. To lure them in and circle behind them. But they're spreading out as they race each other for us.

Daryl curses breathlessly. We're both looking around for an easy escape. Our best bet is to keep drawing them in but how do we get out?

"Sirius did something to the fences last time," he calls over breathlessly.

Okay, he probably strengthened them. I don't know how to do that but I can shrink a portion of the fence and put it back as soon as we're through. I tell him as much and he's quick to agree. So we back up the bikes as close to the fence as we can and rev the like crazy to spur the walkers on.

Fifteen feet away, I shrink the fence behind us. We both push back through the opening, our engines revving. Ten feet away... five... arms outstretched and nearly frothing at the mouth. Daryl calls my name and I hit the fence with my magic, putting it back just as they slam into it. 

We hurry around to the other gate that we let them in through. A few are still near enough but I blast them with a banishing spell that throws them into the field. Daryl and I hurry to close and lock the gate even as they're pushing back against it.

We both jump back, fearful if the sheer number of them can overwhelm the strengthened fence. But it's holding for now so we jump back on our bikes and take off for home. Daryl and I both shoot the stragglers as we pass them although there aren't as many as I thought there would be.

Daryl curses, swerving up into an open garage of a lone older house. I follow, worried that he's hurt. He doesn't speak, just cuts off his bike and hurries to close the garage. I cut mine off too, pulling out a flashlight.

His pupils are too wide, his hands shaking when he grabs my arms. I follow, guarding his back as we clear the house quickly. It's not until we make it to the master bedroom, having finished the search, that I risk asking what's wrong.

He's pacing, wide eyed and breathing heavily. My stomach knots in fear, my hands tremble as I try to slow him down. I fear for a moment that he's been bitten but I can't see any blood or wounds on him. 

He turns, slamming me into the wall and kissing me. I breath in relief, returning the kiss just as desperately. Because he wouldn't kiss me unless he was okay. So this isn't fear from him, it's adrenaline. He's too wound up and needs a release.

"Can't wait til tonight," he whispers against my cheek before moving to bite my neck. His fingers scratch almost painfully at my scalp. I couldn't stop the moan if I wanted to.

"Want your mouth," he mutters, voice thick with tension. "You think you can?"

I nod, agreeing before I really understand. But he's pushing at my shoulders and struggling with his pants. I have a moment, a flash of fear, but I push it away. 

This is Daryl! I trust Daryl! He would never hurt me. We're pack! We take care of each other. And he needs this. His hands... His whole body is trembling. He needs this. I can do this for him.


	12. Conquering heroes

Chapter 12: conquering heroes 

We made it back, only being gone an hour. But everyone came out to hug and clap our backs. Beth jumped on me first with a kiss that stole my breath. No doubt she'll do the same to Daryl later.

She pulls back laughing, mischief bright in her eyes. And I blush, realizing she can taste him too. But she doesn't say a word, just turns to him, peppering his face with kisses until he grumbles and nudges her away.

Sirius grabs me up and actually snarls when Maggie tried to push through to hug me. I squeeze him tight, reassuring him again and again that I'm alright. The others hold back, allowing him to squirrel me away with the pack to our tower room.

Thorin rams into my legs the moment we get inside the tower. He's crying and clingy but once I scoop him up he's quick to calm down. Sirius shoves me over to the bed, pulling Beth along. Merle and Daryl follow, surrounding us protectively.

It's peaceful for the first five minutes. Which is apparently how long the others were able to wait before spilling into our room. Of course they wanted to check us, to be sure we're alright. And I should be glad that Daryl and I calmed down while away or they would've walked in on something inappropriate.

Daryl sits up, explaining to them what happened. He tells them how we got the herd onto the field and escaped one gate only to hurry around to lock the other. He told them he wasn't sure if it would hold but for now it looks sturdy. He did lie and tell them a small portion wasn't trapped and we had to hide from them as our reason for being late.

Sirius kept an octopus hold on me the whole time, breathing in my scent and trying not to transform into Padfoot. I can feel him trembling with the need, gruff growls and a dogs tongue at my neck proved that much. But thankfully no one else seemed to notice.

Glenn blinks away tears, grasping Daryls hand with a choked 'Thanks. Maggie lunges in for a hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek that Carol repeats much to Daryls embarrassment. The others move forward one at a time to pat his arm or clasp his hand. Although Tiny insists on a hug and to kiss his cheek too.

Sirius still isn't willing to let me up but neither are Beth or Thorin. The others trickle out, a few risking patting my leg or ankle while praising what we did. Carol calls back a promise for barbecue tonight and Maggie and Hershel offer to take care of butchering one of the pigs. Their voices carry the whole time they climb down the stairs.

Padfoot burst forth in a rush of black fur and sharp teeth the moment they're out the door. And thank goodness they didn't turn back because I wouldn't be able to explain it to them. Merle hurries to close the door, keeping Daryl across the room in case Sirius decides to attack. I guess Merle also figured out what happened while we were out.

But Sirius doesn't attack, he licks me. My neck, my cheek, down my arm. He even burrowed under my shirt to lick at my back. His teeth nip here and there but it's not threatening. Plus he sooths each nip with several firm licks. I'm fairly certain he's just trying to cover me in as much of his scent as he can.

I do pull away from Thorin long enough to pull my shirt off because it's just not big enough for him to burrow under too. Thorin immediately latches back onto me while Padfoot settles some, pleased to reach more skin. He even tugs at my pants which Beth moves to help him pull off me. I huff, more amused than anything, and resign myself to a dog bath.

Merle and Daryl edge closer, still cautious but unafraid. Not that I blame them. Padfoot is very animal, quite feral, and territorial to boot. No, they're smart to be cautious but beyond a steady look he mostly ignores them.

Merle even relaxes enough to tease about him bathing me like that. I laugh, able to be more amused than disgusted. Although I am definitely taking a shower later.

It takes nearly two hours for Sirius to settle down enough to transform back. Merle and Daryl already wondered out after thirty minutes. Both worried that the others might try to come back up if we all stayed.

We head down once Sirius agrees to keep control. Thorin still refuses to let go so I only pass him to Beth long enough for me to get dressed. But I guess I'm going to be limited to the prison for a while because Thorins just as clingy as last time.

Again, it's not a problem. I love him. He's my son. And if I really need to get out then I'll just take him with me. Maybe if we go on a few safe runs he'll calm down some.

Sirius hangs back which the others take as permission to come hug me. Thorin only grumbles a little and while I don't like them touching me I do appreciate the concern. Because they might not be pack but they are our people. And we'll do our best to keep each other safe.


	13. Cool riders

Chapter 13: cool riders

I was right about Thorin being clingy. So I spent the following week helping to gather up the rainwater, boiling and bottling it for later use. I had all three of the little ones helping me which thrilled them to bits. And that girl Mika is a smart little girl.

Merle found another neighborhood for our group to check. It's a bit further out from the last one that looks promising. There's also a police station, a small town one true, that he hopes may have weapons. 

They head out, hitting the police station first. They came back with a dozen more guns and two cubes of weed that Merle smuggled into our tower room. Merle wants to go again with the moving truck and van as well as more people. 

Beth asks, "Can we ride the bikes out today?"

"Yeah!" I jump in before remembering that Thorin is still unwilling to let me go to the bathroom alone. So I ask, "Is it safe enough for Thorin to come?"

Merle grins, "Sure, to ya both."

We share an excited grin that amuses the others. Merle and Sirius both pull me aside to remind me of the rules if I want Thorin to ride too. I listen carefully to be sure I've got it which amuses them both.

Merle as usual will lead the group out. The whole pack will ride today for Thorins first ride. Although Carol tries again to offer to keep him for us but he's gotten too excited about riding with us to stay behind.

Michonne is being left in charge while Maggie, Glenn, T dog, and Brently come as our second team. They'll be split between the three vehicles although there's some worry if well have enough gas for this. Merle says we'll check vehicles in the neighborhood like they did the last one so hopefully we'll get some.

We head out just after breakfast, our pack leading the way. Thorin goes quiet for a while that worries me but when I pat his leg asking if he's alright I get an excited shout in reply. Merle laughs that Thorin's too in aww to be loud but he has the biggest grin.

The neighborhood has a few more walkers roaming than we expected but we put them down quick enough. It worries everyone because there must be a reason that the walkers came here. But once we down the dozen roaming the long street Merle calls us to get to work.

Again, the pack takes one side while the other group takes the other. We're mostly looking for food and toiletries today since we're good on furniture and clothes. It's also a chance to get out and keep our skills up without being too dangerous.

Thorin's leash is as usual attached to my belt with an unnecessary warning to stay close. It means I have to stay back so there's no risk of getting trampled, not that it's likely. So I walk relaxed behind the others, pointing out to Thorin what he should look for inside.

The first house is an easy one. The cabinets don't have much but the pantry is full. Thorin especially liked helping gather the items into our bags. But beyond that the house didn't have much for us.

The next two are better. We find food in the cabinets as well as a really nice big grill that the brothers claim. One even had a kids room that I let Thorin pick through for anything he wants. He gets distracted playing for a while which we let him.

The fourth house looks picked over but we search it anyways. Daryl and Beth slip down the hallway while we search the kids room. Thorin again is thrilled with all the toys he can pick through.

A moan comes from down the hall. Sirius recognizes the sound first and laughs that Daryl gets all the fun. That breaks the tension that built at the sound.

I tug Thorin outside to the backyard to see the big toys out there. They're all very dirty and sunbleached but at least they're not bloody. We gather a toddler plastic bench as well as two climbing toddler toys with slides attached. There's even a baby swing hanging from a tree in the backyard that we take.

A loud noise sounds from inside, something knocked over and Beth shouting. It's probably a walker that was hiding somewhere. Or a box fell and hit her. Hopefully she's okay but I keep us outside to be safe. I can't put Thorin at risk.

I tell him to pick which toys he wants. Mostly to distract him from the sounds inside. Some kind of argument is happening within but I can't hear the words. Beth slips out, looking more embarrassed than anything as she hurries over to us.

It must not be that bad or she would look worried and not embarrassed. She opens her mouth to tell me but something behind me catches her attention. She pales, taking a step back.

I draw my gun, turning quickly. I expected walkers, maybe a few. But it was people, men with guns. And that is often worse.

Thorin dives behind my legs, a startled gasp the only sound. I tense up, my right hand gripping my knife and wand so I can mutter a silent shield charm to be safe.

The guy in front, who for some reason looks vaguely familiar, steps closer with his gun aimed steadily. His voice more growl than words, "Where's Austin?"

"What?"


	14. Survivors

Chapter 14: survivors

The leader is a tall strong man with dark hair and pale blue eyes. Something about him is familiar but I can't figure out what it is. Four people flank the first guy, spreading out some with weapons drawn. Two are men and the other two are women. 

Beth gives a shout, calling Daryls name that makes them tense up but they still haven't fired at us. The first guy still looks threatening but it's a protective stance. They're looking for someone, one of their people, and they think we have them.

"Who's Austin?" I ask.

The people shift and I notice movement behind them. There's more of them. Five more huddled together, three women and two younger teens. They look dirty and starved but they're clearly a group, a family.

Daryl and Sirius burst out the back door, weapons up and both snarling angrily. I throw up my hands, calling, "Wait! Wait guys. They're looking for someone, not attacking."

Daryl shifts to block Beth from their line of sight while Sirius edges closer, no doubt to shield me. But at least no one is shooting yet. Even the strangers look hesitant now.

"They're looking for someone named Austin," I tell the others, still keeping an eye on both groups. 

Thorin cries, unable to keep quiet any longer. That shocks everyone. I scoop him up, keeping my back to the strangers to shield him. Sirius hurries forward, wrapping around us both while keeping his gun leveled on the others.

I glance back to see the survivors shifting uncomfortably but unwilling to back down. The rest of their group edges forward, concerned at Thorins loud crying. The leader asks again for someone named Austin. 

Thorin clings tightly, wetting my shoulder with snot and tears. I sway a little, trying to sooth him. Sirius pulls us back towards the house, moving us from the line of fire. Beth latches on as soon as we're close enough and we hurry inside.

I do hear Daryl describe someone. A guy with brown hair and eyes, tall but slender and nervous. Merle has such a person at gunpoint on the living room couch.

Seeing the second guy is when it hits me how I recognize the other one. We scavenged their house. They're the couple with the lab dogs and all the vacation pictures on the wall. We took nearly everything from their house.

Merle is towering over the guy, snarling threats that have the poor guy trembling but trying to look back steadily. I have to give him credit, he's brave. Not many can withstand such intimidation without buckling a little.

Thorin is still crying so I settle on the wide recliner, holding him close. Beth climbs up, wrapping around us both and singing softly. That helps the trembling sobs soften to tearful sniffles.

The back door opens and the other leader comes in unarmed with his hands on his head. Daryl walks at his back, gun pressed between his shoulder blades. Merle stand up, frowning threateningly at the stranger.

"Wyatt!" Austin calls out in relief.

The newly named Wyatt looks over his lover carefully. They seem to communicate with a few glances and a tilting of the head. He glares at Merle but seems to relax some, probably relieved to find his partner safe. 

"You threatened our kids?" Merle snarls, stepping threateningly at the stranger Wyatt.

Wyatt tenses, raising his chin defiantly. Merle slams his fist forward, snapping the guy back to stumble a few steps. Daryl snorts, shoving him back at his brother. He shakes it off even if it's clearly a painful hit.

Merle steps closer threateningly, "You put a gun to our kids heads?"

Wyatt holds his gaze and takes the second punch better. This hit landed on the guys stomach. Again Daryl shoves Wyatt forward, forcing him closer to Merle again.

"Please!" Austin cries out frightened, his face pale. "Please stop! We'll leave. We're sorry! Just please stop."

Wyatt keeps looking steadily back at Merle, strong and defiant. Austin shifts on the couch, watching them all fearfully. I can't help but remember that house, all the pictures and how clearly they love each other.

"Merle, that's enough," I call softly. 

He looks over frowning so I add, "You would've threatened people if you thought they had one of us. He's protecting his lover, that's all."

A look of pure amusement floods Merles face, "Lover?"

Wyatt's jaw clenches defensively while Austin pales further. I push a now calm Thorin into Beth's arms and wiggle free of the chair. This may go badly, especially with how Merle is crowing tauntingly at Wyatt.

"We cleared their house," I tell Merle, moving up beside him. "Remember, the house with all the vacation pictures. We took the couches and the grill."

Merle sends me an amused look, tugging me back a bit further from Wyatt as he steps forward. His voice low and darkly amused, "Kneel."

I flinch back as badly as Austin does. Wyatt stays standing, jaw clenched and glaring fury at Merle. But that's enough! We're not going to taunt them anymore. Especially like that.

"Enough, Merle!" I snap angrily.

He blinks, confused for a moment before realization dawns. He hurries to say, "I wasn't gonna..."

"I don't care!" I snap back angrily. "That's not something you joke about, Merle. That's not funny! Or did you think it was funny when..."

"No!" He snaps back, not liking the comparison.

"Then stop it," I tell him gently, touching his arm. "I know you wouldn't. We know you're only messing with them as payback. But that's not something to joke about. Okay?"

He nods, accepting the reprimand. So I slip my arms around his waist, hugging him. He presses a kiss to my temple, holding me close for a moment.

"We're done here anyways," Merle huffs.

Daryl backs up from Wyatt who relaxes some but still doesn't move. Beth brings Thorin over, passing him back to me as Daryl herds us out the front door. Merle shouts for Sirius that we're leaving.

I straddle my bike, throwing a nervous smile to Glenn who watches us clearly concerned. Merle and Sirius slip out of the house last, both looking displeased. We head out, grateful to be heading back home.


	15. Strangers at the gate

Chapter 15: strangers at the gate

We didn't think we'd see them again after that. But two weeks after that disastrous meeting has Jag calling to us that a group of people are coming down the road. Merle and Daryl hurry up the tower with binoculars to get a better look.

"It's them queers," Merle grumbles unhappily.

The others gather at the foot of the tower, waiting for Merles orders. He huffs unhappily but admits to the group who the strangers are and what happened last time. No one is happy to hear that they threatened us 'kids'. But everyone accepts it was a misunderstanding.

"We should talk to them," Hershel offers, motioning to himself and Glenn who are the friendlier of our bunch.

Merle and Daryl insist on going as well. According to them, the other two will be bullied into all sorts of nonsense if they're not there to protect them. I pass Thorin to Beth so I can go with them. Hopefully this meeting will go better than the last.

We step outside the gate, moving into the road with our hands on our weapons but not yet drawn. They close ranks, pressing tighter together but still approaching. It's clear to see when they recognize us though.

"Well, lookey what we got here," Merle crows.

Hershel steps forward, hands clearly empty and open as he addresses them, "It's not often we meet other survivors. I do hope you are all doing well enough, all things considered."

Wyatt frowns at Hershel before focusing back on Merle. His voice icy, "We'll just pass on through."

Merle grins back tauntingly, "Y'all looking pretty rough. I'm thinking ya was gonna come knocking at our gates like starving strays."

Wyatt face twists unpleasantly, "We'll keep going."

Merle steps forward threateningly, "Y'all too good for us now?"

I touch Merles arm, whispering against his shoulder, "It's understandable that they'd be wary of us after our last meeting."

Especially with what Austin saw before he was found. Apparently Daryl was talking to Beth, dirty cruel words that honestly made me uncomfortable. I don't mind them using crude words and telling me what to do sexually. But for some reason Daryl was calling Beth names, threatening her with pain almost. I don't understand it but if they liked it then thats between them.

But Austin was hiding in the closet and heard what was said. He must've been scared that it was real and not pretend because he tried to knock Daryl out with a bat, only hitting his shoulder. Daryl admitted that it wasn't a hard hit and the guy looked terrified when he did it. 

Which in my opinion speaks volumes about his character. Especially since he had a sprain ankle which is why he was hiding the way he was. Wounded and with no chance of escape he still tried to help someone he though was being hurt. I whisper that reminder to Merle, grateful that Hershel and Glenn have moved closer to the strangers so they won't overhear.

Daryl chews his thumbnail. No doubt worried that they'll mention something to Hershel or Glenn. Thankfully they don't. And somehow, Hershel convinces them to come inside for a rest and a meal.

It's a tense awkwardness but they follow along. They even give up their weapons at the gate although it's clear they're unhappy about it. But Glenn stresses that they can't come around our kids with weapons so they reluctantly pass them over.

Merle snorts, "The dumb fucks ain't even got ammo in most a these."

Austin stays pale and uncertain, even embarrassed. Wyatt stays tense, unhappy but unwilling to leave when his people are starving. It doesn't help matters that Thorin starts crying almost hysterically when he sees them.

I hurry to Beth who passes Thorin to me. He clings, trembling and sniffling. So we go ahead, calling Mika and Carl to follow us inside. 

Carol already has food cooking, Mac and cheese. We've already eaten so this is just for them. She frowns worriedly at Thorin, he is usually calm and quiet so seeing him distressed is putting everyone on edge.

I motion Nichelle to bring Gam and Tiny over to the back corner of the cell block where we keep a few toddler climbing toys and slides. We stay back there, able to see the others but far enough away for Thorin to feel safe again. 

The strangers eat cautiously, eyeing everyone nervously. It doesn't help that Merle and Sirius both hover threateningly. But Hershel, Glenn, and Carol work hard to help everyone relax.

They tell their story in soft voices. It holds our people captivated with sympathetic looks thrown around. Glenn shares our story with Carl adding here and there. It's not loud enough for us to hear more than the random word or sentence. But I figure I can ask Merle later what they said.

Somehow it's agreed that they'll stay the night. Not with our people because honestly we can't trust them. Instead, they're taken down the hall and locked in the second cell block. 

Carol and Maggie take them blankets while T dog takes first shift guarding them. Brently will replace him near midnight and Maggie will take over in the morning. That way we can be sure they're not up to trouble.

Sirius comes to drag us off to bed. He's not happy with the strangers here but he's also not willing to kill them now that they're inside. Or rather, he would kill them if he didn't think it would cause too much drama.

Thorin sleeps in our bed, safe between me and Beth. Daryl curls around her while Sirius curls around me. Merle has first shift tonight on guard duty. He'll trade with Daryl around midnight. Then Sirius will take over in the morning.


	16. Peace offering

Chapter 16: peace offering

I tell Daryl where I'm going. Although, the bundle of fabric was probably a good give away. The only other one awake is Brently who eyes me cautiously but let's me pass.

This cell block is cold and grey with a smaller central area and ten cells on either side both upstairs and down. There's a guard room at the back, centered to the room, that's still untouched. Someone left a bucket of water in the middle of the room with a small lantern and the farthest left side cell has a sheet up and a little paper sign saying bathroom.

"What do you want?" A voice calls out softly. 

I glance to the right, second cell. None of these have sheets up for privacy. They don't even have mattresses because we haven't needed to fit them yet. But they have a solid surface to rest on, a board covered with a sleeping bag for cushion and another blanket if they need.

It's Wyatt that steps out. Not that I expected differently. I figured that he wouldn't sleep well here. And by the shifting shadows behind him I guess Austin is awake too.

I shift, suddenly lost for words. So instead I hold out the bundle. Hopefully he understands it as the olive branch it is.

He blinks surprised, coming closer as he recognizes it. There's even a distant softness in his eyes. Something like pride and pain when he asks where I found it.

"We've been clearing neighborhoods," I confess. "One of the homes we cleared, it was really nice. We took the furniture and the jackets and boots."

He looks up, half amused and half sad. I offer a quiet, "I'm sorry. I know this doesn't help but I thought..."

I thought what? That I could give him back his jacket that I clearly stole from his house and we'd suddenly be friends? That he'd laugh and smile like in the pictures? That the tension would just be washed away?

I shrug helplessly, unable to finish. Austin shuffles forward, looking around cautiously but approaching all the same. He looks surprised at the jacket, clearly recognizing it too. And he shoots Wyatt a small teasing smile that causes a soft blush to pinken the leaders cheeks.

I chew my lip, uncertain where to go from here. But the silence feels too heavy to be left silent. So I tell them what else we took from their house. Because apparently I'm an idiot who's confessing all our crimes against them.

Austin at least looks amused. Wyatt just shakes his head, whispering back, "If it helped you all then it's okay. We can't be mad at you for surviving."

I duck my head in embarrassment. I didn't come here for absolution. I came to... I don't even know. Maybe I came to ease tensions or make peace. Maybe I thought this could help stop the animosity between Wyatt and Merle especially. Which sounds really stupid the more I think of it.

I shrug again helplessly, turning to leave because I don't know what else to do. But Wyatt calls me back, "Kid, a few questions if you're willing."

I shuffle back, nodding agreement. He eyes me cautiously, asking quietly, "Do they hurt yall?"

I reel back, startled. Although I really should've known that question would come. With what they witnessed it's an understandable assumption. Especially with how Merle was taunting and threatenin them.

"No," I answer back louder than intended. The rest I say quieter, "What happened there was a whole lot of misunderstandings."

"I heard what the one with the crossbow was saying to the girl," Austin whispers, stepping closer nervously. "He was talking about how you were better. He said you were sucking and moaning like you loved it, no matter how hard he fucked your mouth."

I blush, my whole body flaming in embarrassment. But Austing isn't finished. He adds hesitantly, "He was saying how he was gonna fuck her pussy bloody. Saying he was gonna pop every cherry the two of you have. Saying he and Merle were gonna pass the two of you back and forth like the best toys cause brothers always share."

I glance back at the front where Brently is straining to listen but by his confused look he either can't or doesn't understand what he's hearing. I'll talk to him when I leave. Hopefully he didn't hear that or at least hopefully he won't tell others.

"It was just a game between them," I whisper back, hoping they believe me.

"So you havent..." Wyatt asks clearly concerned.

I chew my lip, unsure how to answer in a way they'll understand. Because what we do isn't normal. It's strange and taboo and probably illegal or something. 

But we're a pack. We're stronger together and it's not about perversion. It's about taking care of each other. It's about trusting each other to share intimacy with. It's about Beth and I learning what we like and not having to stumble through it blindly. 

And it's amazing. I love it when Merle tells me what to do. When he says just how I should lick her, touch her. I loved that Daryl needed me to help him when he was overwhelmed. I didn't care about the taste but I loved the noises. I loved the way he relaxed. I loved the way he hugged me after, kissed me gently and whispered thank you against my lips.

I loved it when Merle asked me if I would do the same for him. It was the first time I really saw him hesitant and shy. He stumbled over his word to reassure me I didn't have to. He didn't want me to feel pressured. He said he understands if I think he's too old.

It made me realize that he's lonely. For all that he's there went were fooling around, he doesn't really participate. Yes he tells us how to move, how to touch, to bring each other pleasure. But Daryls and Sirius are the only ones to really touch us. Merle rarely does more than petting strokes and those are tame.

I remember pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He thought I was telling him no. He was honestly surprised when I said I would. And it was nice too. He's gentler than Daryl, surprisingly so. 

He still spoke in that deep dirty voice of his, telling me just what to do. He also praised me nearly constantly which I must admit I loved as much as the scratching of my scalp. He even returned the favor which amused Sirius for some reason. But it's also probably the only reason that Sirius didn't attack him for it.

But I can't tell them that. They won't understand. And both look back warily, uneasy with my silence. They think that means they're right.

I sigh, suddenly so tired. "I'm not good with explaining things so you gotta give me a minute."

Wyatt frowns but nods. I take a breath, wondering how to even put it in words. Because it's not easy to explain to others what we all just know and accept.

"We were alone after the farm fell, just the six of us," I tell them. "Merle, Daryl, Sirius, Beth, Thorin and me."

Wyatt nods, the others no doubt mentioned the farm. I try again, "We were alone for months. And it was safer to sleep in the same bed. It was safer to bath together."

They're both frowning but neither interupt. "We became a pack," I tell them even if I know the meaning is lost on them. "It wasn't a family exactly, closer and different. Stronger too. And a pack looks after each other, no matter what they need."

If anything they look more unhappy. I huff out, frustrated with my inability to explain it right, "We support each other. We love each other. No one is forced into anything. We talk it out and it's usually more vulgar than is polite. But we don't have to do anything we don't want to."

"Do you know what conditioning is?" Wyatt asks softly.

I shake my head, not knowing the term. He explains it, careful and in simple terms. I can see why they would think that but I try to reassure them that they're wrong. Honestly, Sirius and Beth tend to initiate our games the most.

They still don't look convinced but they agree to reserve judgement. I slip away, startled to see Maggie guarding the cell block. Damn! Now I'll have to explain to Sirius where I went and why. He won't be happy with me.


	17. Playing around

Chapter 17: playing around

Wyatt's group came out to breakfast nervously. They moved together, huddled close and eyed us all warily. But between Carol, Glenn, and Hershel, they all settled well enough. And some looked nearly tearful at the scrambled eggs and coffee we dished up.

Carl slips onto the bench beside me, mindful of a still sleepy Thorin tucked against my side. His voice cautiously eager, "We still doing it today?"

Sirius frowns from opposite us, asking loudly, "Doing what?"

"You remember how we set up the tarps and swimming pools on the side field where it meets the animal fence?"

He nods so I explain, "Well, with the rain the day before yesterday, the pools are full. And we have about twenty cans of shaving foam. We wanted to set up a slip and slide mess by the pools and just have a day of goofing off."

Sirius laughs, others are quick to want in. Glenn asks a woman from Wyatts group as she closest, "Would you all like to come too? It's just we like to have fun from time to time when it's safe to do."

They had a moment of silent communication before they agreed. They still follow at the back of the group. Hershel walks with them, talking softly to sooth fears no doubt.

Carl and I hurry to spray the shaving foam on the tarp. Glenn and T dog both join us, grinning. Thorin tries to help but he has a little trouble with spraying the can.

Two of the pools are larger blow up ones. They barely come up above my knee but they're long enough for Merle to lay inside without his head and feet both touching the far ends. The third one is taller but smaller and round. The fourth and fifth are small baby pools, three rings but still short.

Nichelle climbs into a small one with Gam held close to her chest. Tiny follows, calling Thorin to join them. He passes me the can and takes off, slipping twice, before belly flopping beside Tiny.

Everyone strips down to underwear because none of us have bathing suits. Wyatt group is more hesitant but they do follow. Especially after Jag and Sirius both take a running dive into the foam and slide along the slick tarp until the pool at the far end stops them.

The two younger teens, a boy and a girl, are Carl's age. They're the first of Wyatts group to let loose and join in. Beth tackles her sister into the first large pool much to everyone's amusement. That seems to break the tension enough for their group to join in.

Sirius tackles me onto the tarp, both of us sliding and getting covered in foam. We come up laughing only for Glenn to crash into us, knocking us back down. Apparently he wanted to try the slip and slide too.

Two women from Wyatts group move next. Both hold hands, running for the tarp and sliding along. Austin moves then, teasing Wyatt to follow.

We alternate between the slide and the pools, getting water and foam everywhere. Anytime the slide looks like it's getting bare we grab a few more cans and add too it. Even Daryl and Wyatt join in. Although separately and both still frown at each other.

But it's good because everyone is messy and laughing and having a good time. The little ones insist on trying the slide so Merle and I grab them up, slinging them carefully at the foam and watching them disappear under the white only to pop back up at the end. Tiny especially loved it.

There's a smell on the air, cooking meat that has heads turning. Carol says she put another pig in the smoker with Maggie's help before breakfast. Maggie then adds that barbeque is on for today. Wyatt asks what we're celebrating but we just shrug. 

"It's not a celebration really," I try to explain, "We're just having a day to let loose and party."

"Ya haveta enjoy life while ya can," Merle comments loudly.

Wyatts frowns at him but nods agreement. Austin asks, "How often do you all do this?"

"Rarely," Glenn answers, "last time was a couple months ago and we didn't have pools."

"Although we do have nerf gun fights in the catacombs," Jag adds laughing.

"And sometimes we'll act out a movie or something to get everyone laughing, "Carol adds.

Daryl tackles Beth into the pool only to get splashed by Maggie in retaliation. I tackle one of the new kids, the boy. Although I'm careful to turn so I take the brunt of the fall. We both come up laughing. Carl gets the girl to slide with him, a race along the tarp sorta thing.

Amy gets shoved down the tarp by Sirius who follows after her. Brently and Jag have a race, barely missing crashing into Amy. Although the two braver women of Wyatts group manage to crash into all four.

Nichelle is the first to call it quits. She heads back inside with Gam and Evelyn held close. Carol follows her, having only relaxed in the larger pool for a while. Hershel follows, still clean and dry since he stayed back the whole time.

We stay out there all morning. The adults tire out first, choosing to relax in the pools. Carl and the girl named Kaila last the longest. Even her brother Colton gives up exhausted before them.

Rinsing off is a hassle since there's foam everywhere. We mostly just jump in the pools or dump buckets of water over each other. And tiredly, we troop back inside. Thorin, of course, insists I carry him and Tiny rides high on Brently's shoulders. Mika stumbles along a few steps but Merle scoops her up, carrying her high on his side.

We get inside, loud but tired. Carol and Hershel point out the piles of clothes set aside for the new people to sort through. They're clearly surprised but Maggie and Glenn assure them that they're welcome to anything that fits.

The others troop off to their cells for their own change of clothes. Sirius and Daryl come in a few minutes later, dressed in dry clothes and passing bundles to us. I press a kiss to Sirius's cheek, proud of how well he's doing.


	18. An offer over lunch and secrets told

Chapter 18: an offer over lunch and secrets told

Dry and hungry we settle down at the tables. Maggie passes bags of chips while Jag and Glenn pass out drinks. Then Carol and Hershel come around with a big pan of shredded barbeque each.

Wyatt's group still looks a little shell shocked about it all. But it's clear that they're grateful for the meal. And they're more spread out this time, less fearfully huddled together.

There's talking and laughing, stories being shared. For all that we're tired the meal is rejuvenating in a way. The meat tender and the chips still crisp although they're also kinda stale. But it's a good lunch, a reminder of times past.

Sirius and Amy run off giggling to her cell. That wasn't even an attempt at subtly. No, subtly was when Daryl motioned Beth out to the hall or when Maggie and Glenn slipped away. Although less so for the second one.

The two braver women from Wyatts group are Nessa and Sammy. Both are medium height and thin, although the whole group is starved really. Nessa has brown hair and light hazel eyes while Sammy has dark blue eyes and lighter brown hair. Both are in their later twenties although not yet thirty I think.

They spend lunch holding hands and grinning around happily. They both engage our group in conversation, grateful for all that we've shared with them. They even share a kiss, both smiling affectionately at each other. 

Hershel comes over at one point, frowning, to ask after Beth. Merle answers back without hesitation, "Bathroom."

Thorin falls asleep in my lap but Mika is doing the same to Carol. Merle gets up, pulling the sleeping girl from Carol and carrying her off to her cell. Carol follows, not worried, just to help.

I shift Thorin up, telling the others that I'm going to put him to bed too. Hershel comes out of the bathroom looking more troubled. He doesn't even look up when he passes me to head outside. 

I hurry up the steps to our tower. Thorin may not be heavy but a sleepy kid can make you struggle when you're tired. I get him tucked away in his room. He doesn't even wake when I lay him down. And I turn on the little lamp nightlight for him so it won't be too dark.

Hershel is standing with Michonne by the outer fence. I wave to them, worrying somewhat that something may be wrong. But they both wave back, turning back to their conversation.

Beth and Daryl are back when I get inside. Both look relaxed and happy so I doubt it has to do with them. Glenn, Maggie, and T dog are sitting with Wyatt and Austin. All three seem to be talking over each other while still keeping relatively quiet. Wyatt and Austin are both listening, paying close attention to whatever is said.

Sirius is back, holding court at the table with Merle and Daryl as well as the other two guys from Wyatts group. It sounds like he's telling them edited versions of some of the pranks the mauraders played at school. It has them all in stitches.

Beth, Amy, and Nichelle are at another table with the other women of Wyatts group. Both babies are missing but they're probably both in the nursery cell now. We replaced the Moses basket with a real crib and it's big enough for both. Plus the curtain is closed whivh they usually only do when the babies are sleeping.

Carl and the two kids from that group are gone though. I ask to no one in particular, "Where's the big kids at?"

Brently catches my eye, pointing back to the kids play area with the foam floor where three lumps lay under a thick blanket. I didn't see them at first because they're all laying down against the far wall. The climbing toys are between us and them so while they're not away from us it is hard to see them. Still I go over to check and all three are fast asleep.

Hershel and Michonne come back inside. It's T dogs turn on watch so he heads out. I help Carol and Amy collect the empty plates. Everyone offers thanks and compliments for the meal which has Carol blushing proudly.

Glenn and Maggie wave Hershel over. He's still frowning, looking unhappy or perhaps tired. But he goes to them with a calm and steady air. Michonne moves around the room, sidling up to me.

"What's going on?" I ask, certain thats why she came.

"What do we know about them?" She asks instead.

"Wyatt's a former marine, Austin and he have been together a decade I think," I answer, remembering from their house. "Both seem like good people. Austin even tried to attack Daryl because of a misunderstanding."

She hums, "Yeah, they mentioned that."

"What?" They mentioned it? To Hershel? What did they say? They said they would reserve judgement but not that they would keep quiet about it. Oh man, this may get ugly.

"He said he was hiding in the closet when Daryl dragged Beth in the room," Michonne says quietly, looking anywhere but at me. "Says he shoved her to her knees and sounded angry and threatening while she sucked him off."

"Bloody hell!" I curse, covering my mouth and looking around worriedly, "He told Hershel?"

She looks back evenly, "Yes, he did."

I shift guiltily. This isn't good! But so far Hershel hasn't said a word so maybe he won't kick up a fuss. After all, we've been discrete, haven't we? No one knew before. 

"What I need to know," she whispers seriously, stepping closer, "is if this is a problem. Because if they're hurting you two..."

"No!" I hiss back, "It's not like that."

I look around, worried someone will notice but everyone seems occupied. I shift closer, hopeful that no one else will overhear us, "It's mostly us starting it. We can't exactly experiment with others our own age, can we? And we trust them. So Beth was curious about something and wanted to try it. Daryl was just going along with her."

"So they haven't been hurting you two?"

"No, we haven't even done more than with our mouths," I tell her, my whole body blushing in embarrassment.

"Okay," she agrees quietly, "but you understand I had to ask."

"Don't let..." I catch her gaze, almost desperate for her to understand, "Don't let Maggie or Glenn know. And if you need to ask Beth, you do it, okay? Not Hershel."

She agrees, slipping away while I struggle to control my blush. Merle comes over to ask if I'm alright so I tell him the truth. He groans, annoyed with the drama of it and looking troubled. But he says he'll talk to Hershel as well as Wyatt and Austin.

Michonne taps Beth's shoulder, whispering softly in a way that has Beth following her out into the hall. Merle sidles over to catch Hershel who frowns angrily at him. Whatever Merle says doesn't seem to help matters though. I should probably warn Daryl.

Glenn and Maggie stand up proudly, addressing the room, "Okay people listen up. We've got an announcement!"

"We've talked with Wyatt and Austin," Glenn says.

"And we all agree that joining our two groups would benefit us all," Maggie adds excitedly.

"But," Glenn cuts in smiling, "We do need to allow a moment for anyone that has questions or reservations."

A few do have questions. Nessa asks if they'll still be locked in at night. Merle says yes but only for a few weeks and jsut to be safe. They don't seem surprised about that.

Austin asks how work is decided. Maggie answers that she and Hershel tend to divide up the chores to be done so it's fair. She also points out that those that go on runs don't have as many chores as the ones who never leave the prison grounds.

A few ask about meals and supplies and clothes. Sammy asks about feminine products and hearing that we have plenty gets most of them to cheer. At least that's one less worry.

Hershel asks if there's anyone who disagrees with our groups joining. Merle grumbles unhappily and Sirius doesn't look pleased either but neither says no. So it's decided, Wyatts group will stay and become a part of ours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people mentioned being worried about the adults taking advantage of Harry and Beth and in a way they have. They explained it away to themselves that they're just helping, just teaching them. But honestly, they kept toeing the line until they crossed it. Then they kept pushing further. 
> 
> For Beth, they thought they were supporting her while she explored what she does and doesn't like sexually. She was going wilder and wilder and they were urging her on which wasn't healthy but it got away from them. Thats what happened at the house. She wanted to see if she would like rough talk and Daryl went along with it. He got sucked off so he didn't care. And he's probably done kinky stuff with random women from bars before so he doesn't mind playing along.
> 
> Now that it's out she'll hide out of embarrassment for how quickly she went wild and all the things she did with them. Especially now that others know. Because it's one thing to get a guy to talk dirty to you but another for your family to find out. It doesn't help that her father and sister immediately blame Daryl and Merle.
> 
> With Harry, Merle will especially feel guilty. He reasoned at the time that Harry wouldn't mind and could always refuse but he regretted asking, it's why he returned the favor, to lessen his guilt. Harry lets the people he cares about hurt and use him because he always puts others first. 
> 
> Merle is the first to realise they went to far. Sirius isn't ashamed but he'll charm his way out of trouble. Daryl doesn't see it as wrong because they were willing. He'll still reason that it was consensual so therefore not wrong. But when Merle tells him to back off he will.
> 
> They were good as a pack before the prison and theyll try to go back to that. They never intended to take advantage of Harry or Beth, they just wanted to seek pleasure with someone and their options are limited. They made excuses but they did take it farther than they meant.
> 
> Que the drama😥


	19. Soothing fears

Chapter 19: soothing fears

Its a tense month to be sure. Beth cries when she finds out her family knows. She even leaves us after a few days, sleeping in a cell near her father who refuses to look her in the eye. I guess it's difficult for him to accept what he heard.

Merle and Daryl stay away too, taking guard shifts over night. They go hunting every day, anything to avoid the judgemental looks. And that's exactly what we wanted to avoid!

They've brought more animals back. They found about a dozen rabbits, a few more chickens, even several goats. So it's not like I don't appreciate what they're doing for us. It's just that, they're never home, always going somewhere.

So our bed is now just Sirius and me. Even he feels uncomfortable without our pack around us but he says to give them time. I try, really I do. But I miss them all terribly.

Trying to talk to them about it just gets me the cold shoulder. Even Merle brushes me off, refusing to even answer. I try to remind them that we're Pack but they just say they have work to do with so many mouths to feed.

Wyatt's group is getting healthier now, happy too for the safety of the prison. They're also quick to side with most of the group against us. Or rather, they're siding against Merle and Daryl.

Which isn't fair at all! Amy got mad at Sirius but he sweet talked her into forgiving him. The Dixons won't try to explain their actions. Oh, no. They'll take their licks and the comments as if they deserve them.

A month is more than enough! I need my pack and they're hurting. This isn't right! Can't people understand that?

I try to follow them when they leave to hunt. Both argue, refusing to look at me. But I won't listen. I follow them out the gate, keeping my steps light and fast to keep up with them.

Daryl shoots several squirrel while we walk. Each one gets added to the rope over his shoulder. That's another thing he often brings back, a dozen dead squirrels to get cut up and added to the hamburger helper just without the hamburger meat in it.

Merle spots the deer tracks and they split. Daryl is still tense and angry but Merle mostly looks tired. I figure he'll at least listen when I talk so I follow him first. Resolving to get Daryl alone later.

He frowns back at me, no doubt confused why I followed him and not Daryl. And he tenses up, holds himself like he's waiting for a hit. But I wouldn't do that. We're pack! We're just going through a rough spot right now.

He relaxes the longer I follow quietly. He even starts pointing out the tracks, whispering advice and explaining what he's looking for and what it means. We follow the tracks to a field with waist tall grass. Three deer move around lazily, unthreatened.

Mere raises his gun but I catch his arm, pulling my wand instead. He smirks amused as he always does when he sees our wands. It's like he believes were capable of magic but he thinks the sticks are a joke. I smile back, relieved to see him amused at least.

I flick my wrist, casting the spells silently like Sirius showed me. The first two drop easily. The third tries to run but I get it with the second spell. Then it's all quiet.

We move further in the field, careful to work our way to them. They're all three alright, healthy even. Merle crows proudly, clapping my shoulder and telling me to stay put while he looks around. 

I move the three close together, relieved to see the third one is a young male. It looks younger than the other two but healthy. Now we can breed them since all our other ones are female.

He comes back with a fawn under each arm. He puts them down gently, letting them stumble closer to one of the females. Then he wonders away again, returning with another one.

"How are we getting them home?" He asks.

I flick my wand again, levitating all of them together. It distressed the fawns for a second but they settle down quick enough. They even seem to doze gently while we head back.

"I miss you," I offer gently, afraid to look over at him.

"Hell, kid, ya know it ain't you that's kept us away," he answers.

"It's because your ashamed of us, of what we do together," I answer matter of factly. "I know you don't like men and you're not happy that you wanted me to do anything. I know you think we're young and stupid. I know you're ashamed of touching me."

He catches my arm, pulling me back, "I ain't ashamed!"

He shifts closer, speaking gentler, "We ain't ashamed of ya."

"But if you had other options you would take them, I know," I tell him. "And I don't mind that you just wanted pleasure. I like taking care of you. But I miss you. I miss you both."

He rubs his face, looking away frustrated, "It ain't that I don't care about ya."

"It's cause I'm a guy."

"It's cause you're a kid and I'm an old man," he grumbles. "Hell, kid, I'm fourth two years old. At least Daryl is only thirty. But I'm way to old for ya and I know better. We're the fucking adults! We know better!"

"We don't have to tell," I offer, an ache building in my chest. "I don't mind keeping it secret if you want. Just come back home, come back to our bed."

He curses again, pacing unhappily although keeping an eye on our surroundings. I move closer, careful to make noise so he isn't startled. I hug his back, wrapping my left arm around his waist and pressing my cheek between his shoulder blades.

He lets out a breath, sighing sadly but holding my arm around him. "It ain't that I'm ashamed," he whispers back softly. "I just don't wanna hurt ya. I never wanted ta hurt ya, either of ya. I told myself we was just teaching ya, helping ya learn. It ain't like ya can download porn no more."

"We don't have to have sex," I offer gently, "but I miss having you two around. I miss talking to you, laughing and joking with you. I miss the sound of you snoring like a bear at night."

He coughs, voice thick with held back emotions, "I miss ya too, kid. But if we come back we can't be touching ya. I can't be using ya like that again. It ain't fair to ya and it sure as shit ain't right."

"Then come home," I whisper against his back. "I'll never ask you to touch me and I won't try touching you. Just please come home."

"Okay," he agrees gently, "Okay, I'll come home. But I'm not ashamed of ya. Ya never did nothing wrong, kid, ya hear? I won't treat ya like a secret, okay? But I won't use ya no more either."

I slip around in front of him, smiling happily. He huffs, amused and affectionate since it's just us. I snuggle close, nuzzling his neck and pressing kisses to his jaw. He runs fingers through my hair, gently and soothing in the way that makes me boneless as a purring kitten.

It always amuses him when that happens. He says if I did transform it would be something that purrs. I smile back, happy to be teased by him again. 

Because it was never really the sex stuff. It's this that I miss. It's the closeness, the affection, that I crave. It's being surrounded in the sounds and scents of our pack. And I need that as much as I need food in my belly.


	20. Standing back up

Chapter 20: standing back up

Daryl finds us quickly enough. He caught a dozen squirrels and three rabbits for supper tonight. I set the deer down and both him and Merle get to work leashing them. I cast a mild calming spell on them when they get restless which helps.

Brently opens the gate, grinning excitedly as we lead the deer inside. Merle proudly throws an arm over my shoulder to tell everyone that I helped catch them. I grin proudly, leaning into his side and enjoying the closeness again.

Hershel checks them carefully. We can't risk bringing a sick one inside after all. But they're all healthy and by the end of the day they're released into the back field with the others.

Merle has a bounce in his step and a purpose in his gaze. He calls the others at supper, announcing, "We're plannin a couple runs. We need better fences so we're gonna hit up some stores and grab all the bricks and concrete we can find. We're also gonna get some good iron fences too."

That has everyone's attention. He continues strong, "We're gonna put up the iron fence first, out as far as we can go. That way we can have a bigger buffer between us and whatever comes along."

He points to a map taped to the wall that we often use. He motions to an area that will include the field across the street as well as much of the forest surrounding us. It will give us a slightly wonky square that follows the road and increases are area by a bit more than double.

"How long will fences take?" Glenn asks worried.

He shrugs, "It takes what it takes but having this area closed off will keep us safer."

"What about using cars or busses or something?" Jag asks. "We could block roads off like that."

"Is there anythin bigger that makes easy walls?" Carol asks.

"What about truck trailers?" Nessa asks, "Shipping containers, couldn't that work."

Merle looks away thoughtful, "Containers would be awesome but finding them could be an issue."

"My brother drove," she explains, "There's a shipping yard not far from here. Get them. From there and bring them back. It won't be easy but it'll work."

Merle glances at me, asking with a look. I grin back, nodding, remembering the trucks I still have shrunken. It'll be all to easy to shrink more. Then once were close enough I can return them to normal size before the others see.

Merle claps his hands, calling Nessa up to mark the area on the map with the shipping yard. Then he says the pack will go, minus Beth and Thorin. That way we can clear the whole place and resize them slowly.

Others offer to go but Merle argues that we can't leave the prison unguarded. He also tells Brently and Glenn that they're on guard shift tonight cause he's tired as hell of it. That's gets a few frowns but no one argues.

Merle no doubt notices the looks being passed around because he huffs, squares his shoulders, and addresses the group again. "Look, we fucked up, I'm aware of that."

A few grumble but he ignores them, "We never intended to hurt the kids, Harry and Beth. We told ourselves that we were just supporting them, teaching them so they didnt get hurt learning on their own."

He shares a regretful look with Daryl. I want to tell him to stop but he pushes forward, explaining, "We never did anything before we got to the prison. Even then, we was mostly just giving them advice and explaining things. We watched em fooling around and told ourselves that there ain't no privacy no more."

More than a few people looks away. I start to stand, to tell him to stop, but he catches the movement and shakes his head. He's taking the blame for this and it isn't fair. Especially since he was barely involved. But he's decided to be the scapegoat for the group whether he deserves it or not.

"We barely touched em ourselves," he explains steadily, "mostly we watched em and gave advice. But the more we encouraged things, the more we felt would be alright. Told ourselves we're teaching them, helping them, and that we're only doing it for em."

He looks over at me, a painful look in his eye as he adds, "We just wanted to get off and we used them for that. We only did what they agreed to but we led them farther than I think they woulda gone without our encouragement. We fucked up, we know that. But it wasn't our intention to ever hurt em."

He looks back at the group, most looking back coldly. He squares up again, unwilling to buckle beneath their judgement, "It won't happen again, that I promise ya. But I ain't cutting off my nose ta spite ma face. We're gonna go back how we was before, when the worst thing we did was get high and eat all the chips."

He grins at me and I beam back proudly, grateful that he's not going to avoid us again. "I ain't gonna punish them for what we did," he says. "We gonna have some boundaries and we ain't gonna cross those lines again."

A few still look uncomfortable. Hershel looks angry and offended. But Wyatt nods, accepting the public apology as its meant. The others follow his lead which is a bit of a slap in the face since we barely know them.

After supper, Daryl tries to sneak off but it's Merle that drag a him home. He sighs and crawls into bed. I apoligized to him too, sorry that Beth isn't here with us. He shrugs it off, saying he too missed us.

It's wonderful to be cuddled between them again. They're both tense at first but it's easy to fall back into our usual sleeping pattern. And it's nice to have the pack around us again, even if we're missing Beth.


	21. Confrontations and hurt feelings

Chapter 21: confrontations and hurt feelings

I try to talk to Beth. She wont look at me but she's clearly sad. I try to remind her that she's pack and welcome home whenever she's ready.

"We shouldn't have done all that with them," she argues half heartedly.

"We started it, you started it, and they would never hurt us."

She shifts uncomfortably, still avoiding my gaze, "My dad still won't look at me. Everyone says..."

"I don't care what they say!" I snap back, not angry at her but upset that she's letting them twist this into something it isn't.

"Yeah cause you don't have family around to disappoint!" She snaps back, although it's clear she regrets it the moment she says it.

"I'm not so worried about what others think of my choices to make myself miserable and hurt the ones I love."

"They don't love you, they just want to get off and you're eager to help."

"We're not doing that anymore."

She huffs, looking away angrily, "They may hold back for a while but they'll want to get off and you'll be all to eager to suck them off."

I take a breath, trying not to feel hurt at her accusing tone. "They never meant to hurt us and they already promised that it won't happen again. We're pack, that's closer than family."

She snorts, shaking her head, "Youre so stuck on that pack bullshit. Don't you get it? We were just a way to get off for them."

I look back steadily, understanding that she's just lashing out. I tell her, "If you believe that then you've forgotten everything. Think about all that we shared. Think about how we've grown closer. Then tell me that isn't love."

"Love is between a man and a woman," she whispers back weakly.

"There are a thousand types of love in the world, Beth. Ours is supportive and encouraging. It makes us stronger. Isn't that worth holding on to?"

"I cant," she answers miserably.

I press a kiss to her cheek, whispering gently, "When you're ready to come home, we'll be there. And we both know that neither of them will blame you. But will you blame yourself?"

She slips past me, leaving the garden and heading inside. I don't follow her, that won't help. And she wants to come back, I'm sure of it. But her family is back to treating her like she's a helpless victim and she's afraid of pushing them away again.

I hope she comes back, for herself more than anything. Because this last month they've had her relegated to cooking and cleaning and watching the little ones. They're back to talking over her and telling her what she'll do. And I know she chaffs at that.

I try not to feel hurt at her avoiding us. Merle says it's different for her. He says her family makes her feel ashamed for the things we did together. Especially because her daddy is a religious man.

I slip out with Daryl to hunt again. He frowns worriedly at me. I must not be hiding it very well. I shrug helplessly, unsure how to tell him. But he nods, a painful look in his eye.

We track some rabbit prints and find five little ones in a den but no big ones. Daryl scoops them up, passing them to me one at a time. I hold them close to my chest, cuddling the soft little things to keep them calm.

He smirks amused at me cooing to them. A teasing lit to his voice as he says, "Don't go getting too attached cause them thumpers are gonna be stew come winter."

I stick my tongue out at him which makes him grin back. A wierd shrieking warbling noise startled us both. Daryl sends me an incredulous look before he takes off running in the direction of the sound. I chase after him, careful not to loose him.

Its a bird, a turkey. In fact there are five of them in a back yard, protected by the fence that walkers are struggling to get through. The warbling shriek comes again as the birds run from one side of the yard to the other.

Daryl hurries to take out the walkers. There's only seven so he manages it quickly. I follow, wary of the red smears on the sidewalk and part of the fence.

We hit the house, shocked at the hum of an air conditioner. Apparently this house has a generator hooked up. And there's a deep freezer full of food!

Daryl laughs, looking through the stuffed deep freezer in disbelief. He asks if I can shrink it for now and we can drive up with it later. I agree, after putting the rabbits in a laundry basket.

Daryl has me stun the turkeys so he can put them in a dog carrier. There's a dog inside, a fluffy little ankle biter as Daryl calls it. Outside is a bigger dog, something mixbreed with long awkward legs and big paws. Both dogs are sweet though and I don't even have to beg for Daryl to agree to bring them with us.

I shrink most of the supplies so we're only carrying back the dog cages and the laundry basket with the rabbits. A lightweight charm helps make it easier. Daryl carries two cages, one in each hand, while I carry the basket and the two leashes. The little dog tips a lot, running back and forth eagerly. The big dog looks around nervously, staying close to my side.

Five walkers lay still outside our prison gate, another drops as were rushing closer. Merle is on watch so he lets us in, exclaiming over the haul and taking one cage from Daryl. He grins, no doubt feeling the weightless charm. 

Hershel is surprised at the turkeys, proud even. And he checks them over carefully. Apparently, two are males so well be able to breed them up. He even praises Daryl and me for our find. Although his mouth also twists unpleasantly as if it cost him something terrible to do so.

I take the basket of rabbits inside the cell block along with the yippy puppy. The big dog stays out, hovering cautiously near Merle and Daryl. The kids are instantly enchanted with the baby rabbits. The puppy runs around excitedly, enjoying all the snuggles that's offered to it. I let them pet them and cuddle them, reminding them to be careful. 

Beth catches my eye, giving me a regretful smile. I shrug, smiling forgiveness back at her. She's still not ready, I get it. But we'll be waiting whenever she is. And she knows that now, so that's enough.


	22. Shipping yard

Chapter 22: shipping yard

Good news is there's plenty of containers. Bad news is there's plenty of walkers. Like, nearly a hundred. 

We stopped at a gas station just down the road. It's already been picked over and there were a few walkers there that we had to eliminate. When we climbed up to the roof it gave a clear view of the shipping yard down the road. Which is as far as we've come so far.

"Damn," Merle mutters tiredly. "Now that's a fucking mess."

Daryl chews his thumbnail, frowning worriedly at the job ahead. Sirius and Merle start talking back and forth about possible plans. Both seem unhappy with all options so far.

We can't go in guns blazing because we don't have the ammo. Even with magic, that many walkers are just too many. And the four of us are good but that's not a risk worth taking if we don't have to.

The bikes are an option but not the best one. The walkers are spread out too much to make it a safe option. There's too much risk of only drawing away a few and leaving too many behind.

One suggestion is to set off a few car alarms or set the gas station on fire to draw them off. Either could work but it won't lead them very far away. Too much risk of the herd turning back on us.

We could use the truck to lead them off. There's a possibility that they could overwhelm the truck but it's also possible that they'll follow. Of course we don't know the roads around here all that well so where would we lead them off to?

Daryl brings up the way they attacked the Governor community, the loud music and explosions. And the fire Sirius used when we cleared the catacombs. So far that ones winning.

"I can produce a shield," I offer hesitantly.

Sirius snaps his fingers, "Yeah, okay, so here's what we'll do. We all get in the truck. I set up the music on the roof here and we park on the road halfway down to the shipping yard."

Merle frowns off in the distance, not liking that the walkers will have to move past us. But Sirius continues, "Harry can hold up a shield while they pass. Once they're all there I'll cast the fiendfyre spell and burn them. I doubt they'll be able to escape."

I nod my agreement. Fiendfyre can get away from you if you're not careful but it shoukd work quickly to burn the walkers. Merle relaxes, trusting me as I back Sirius's plan.

It's dangerous, more so because the timing must be perfect. But Sirius sets off the music and hurries to the truck. Merle speeds down the road, a bit more than halfway. Then he shuts off the truck and we all duck down.

Sirius and I lay down in the back while Daryl and Merle take the two bench seats of the truck. I cast the shield, hoping and praying that it works. Then we just have to wait.

It's terrifying, more so than when Daryl and I lead the herd away on bikes. Because the walkers move past us, groaning hungrily as they hurriedly chase the noise to its source. The truck rocks as they bump against us and a few even get distracted looking in at us. But miraculously the shield holds.

It takes a while. The song clicks off and the walkers are all the louder in the silence before the next song starts up. The truck rocks more as if the new song has stirred them up more. Still we stay as quiet as we can.

A few more minutes pass and Sirius peaks up, frowning around us. Several haven't moved on. Instead they hover around the truck, leaning heavily against the shield I hold. But most have followed the noise and are tearing through the gas station as planned.

"Ready, Pup?"

I shift to sit up. Merle and Daryl do the same. We all three raise our weapons, ready for the moment the shield drops. 

Sirius stands, clears his throat and gives a last order to be careful. Then he nods to me and I release the shield. Immediately he casts the spell. A huge hulking canine form escapes his wand, growing bigger as it races off towards the walkers. 

It's amazing to watch. Or it would be if I could watch. The sheer destruction of the spell, the speed with which it devours everything in its path. It's as terrifying as it is awe inspiring.

But there's no time to watch it really. There's no time to see just how solid the flaming creature appears. There's no time to appreciate the way the muscles clench and the teeth bite down. There's no time to notice that it looks more like some ethereal demon made of brimstone and flame.

Because there's about thirty of the damn things trying to climb in the truck. My gun pops steadily, the aiming spell carved into it helping insure that each shot takes a head. I flick my wrist repeatedly, blasting them back and casting bludgeoning hexens at their rotting skulls.

Not that the others aren't helping because they are. Both brothers are shooting out either side. Arrows litter the skulls on the right while the boom of the shotgun Merle brought echoes on the left. Its a gruesome mess all around us as the bodies fall. But thankfully they end before our bullets and arrows do.

Amazingly, the plan worked. We reloaded our weapons. Daryl collected his arrows, I spelled them clean since Sirius showed me how. And we drove on to the shipping yard, ignoring the pile of dust and rubble behind us.

I got started shrinking the empty containers first. There's a stack of twelve of them off to the side, old and rusting but still solid. The others spread out, double checking the area is clear.

Then we split up. Merle goes with Sirius to act as guard while Daryl follows me. We open the containers first, sometimes using spells to unlock them first. Most have junk in them that with leave. It'll make them heavier that way so they're less likely to be knocked over.

Each one we shrink and tuck away in our packs. A few, a rare few, have food. Those we pass to Daryl and Merle so that we can 'find' them later. 

Sirius calls a stop after an hour. We're both exhausted from using so much magic. Sirius brings out one of the coolers of cooked food, burgers and chips, so we can eat our fill.

Merle curses, glaring accusingly at Sirius for holding out on them. He even throws me a suspicious look that has me immediately apologizing. He huffs, taking a container of food and telling us that we can't hide the good stuff anymore.

We rest for a while. Merle and Daryl move around, checking trucks and the trailers attached to them. One is full of fireworks that gets them both laughing excitedly. So once I get my breath back I shrink that one and pass it to them. Then we work through until we get the other containers shrunken and tucked away.

Both Sirius and I pass out on the way home. It's a good hour drive, longer since they're driving slow. And we're both too exhausted to stay awake.

But we can't come back empty handed after being gone for so long. So Merle wakes me up, pushing and nudging until I'm able to answer him. He pulls me out of the truck, guiding me behind it where Daryl waits with two shrunken truck and trailers.

Even exhausted, it's easy to pull back my magic from them. The problem is, Sirius is still out cold and nothing is waking him. So how do we get back with both big rigs and the truck?

Merle and Daryl argue for a while. Then Daryl curses, taking Merles place in supporting my weight on the back of the truck. Merle comes back with a medicine bottle and a bottle of water. 

Two pills are pushed in my mouth. Both brothers telling me to swallow them as Merle helps me drink the water. It's difficult to focus but I do what they ask. Then they lay me down in the back of the truck, lighting a cigarette each and sitting on either side of me.

It's a wierd feeling. Like my body is sleeping but my heart thinks I'm running. Or maybe my head thinks I'm resting while my body thinks I'm fighting. It's hard to explain.

It works, in a very disconcerting way. It makes me shaky and anxious, my hands trembling and my movements jerky. I feel uncoordinated and confused.

But Daryl pushes me into the drivers seat of the truck. He and Merle will drive the big rigs. He repeats directions several times but it feels like I can't grasp them. Although I do try. Surely that counts for something.

We make it to the gate somehow. I know I wasn't driving straight. Hell, I've no idea if I was speeding or driving slow. I do know I almost hit a few parked cars... and a sign... and the gate.

Daryl yanks the door open, reaching past me to shove the truck in gear and turn off the engine. He send me an incredulous look, shaking his head and yelling obscenities at Merle for some reason. Then he pulls me out, keeping my arm over his shoulder as we stumble through the second fence and up to our tower.

Merle comes in a few minutes later with Wyatt helping him carry Sirius. I vaguely hear Merle grumbling out explanations.

"... fell off the container... not bitten, just a concussion..."

"... no, dont bother him. Well watch em both..."

"... 's fine... run was good, just a little hiccup is all..."

"... my word, I swear... yeah, we got it... thanks..."


	23. When the waves come in

Chapter 23: when the waves come in

It took two days for my head to feel right again. I don't remember much of what happened in that time. According to Merle, I slurred my words and stumbled like a newborn giraffe. Or rather, he called me a drunken squirrel but same thing, I think.

Anyways, without me or Sirius to resize the trucks, they only had the two to work with. Merle and Daryl got some of the guys to come out the first day back. They used ropes to pull the containers off the trailers. It made a hell of a lot of noise but it worked. 

We're supposed to head out today, waste time enough and drive back with three more trailers. Then we'll do it again every day until we get a wall up. Or that's the plan. Only problem is, we don't get out of the gate. 

Breakfast is over so we're getting ready to head out. Thorin is clingy and screams when I try to pass him over to Beth. He just refuses to release me and he's loud about it.

I try to talk him into watching the dog, the big oaf that's been staying with us. He's taking to calling it bill-o, or I think that's what he says. It doesn't work though. He clings tighter, ignoring the sweet dog sniffing at his back, clearly worried over his distress.

"Maybe ya aughta sit this one out, kid," Merle says, blowing smoke away from us.

I open my mouth to agree when out in the field tower, T dog shouts. He's running down the steps like his feet are on fire which instantly puts everyone on alert. But there's no way for us to see whats out there because of the metal sheeting welded to the fence.

He doesn't even get halfway down when there's a whistling in the air. Something moving, a thick tail of smoke behind it. And the tower explodes, debris falling out as far as each fence line.

The whole thing only took a second, barely that. We're all frozen in shock. Because what the hell was that? Where did it come from?

The whistling sounds again. Half a second, not even time to see the thing move, and our tower explodes. A chain reaction takes out the building its attached to. The only thing that saved us in the courtyard was the hasty shield Sirius cast.

Merle takes charge then, shouting orders. He sends Maggie and Hershel to gather the animals from the back field. Jag is ordered to drive the moving truck back there for them to load the animals.

Wyatt, Daryl, and Sirius hurry to the roof to return fire. Daryl shouts back that theres a tank and an army truck with a machine gun mounted. The whistling sounds again and for a moment I think its going to hit them on the roof. But it suddenly changes course and hits our tower again.

Merle orders Beth and Amy to gather the children and whatever food they can and load up the RVs. Brently is put to work moving food onto the van with Glenn. I run in after them to help, Thorin held close and the dog at our heels.

Another blast shakes the building and I shout for them to leave the food and just get on the RV. I stay back, watching to be sure everyone gets out first. Another blast hits, tearing a hole in the back half of the cell block. 

My ears are ringing painfully. I look around, shocked at the destruction. The hallway is blocked so the only way out is the hole in the wall. But the whistling sound is back so I shield Thorin the best I can, using magic to cacoon us.

Another blast hits something. More dust falls. So does part of the walkway overhead. We have to get out now! These people are trying to kill us!

I pull Thorin up with me, grabbing the basket with the rabbits since it miraculously survived. Then it's a struggle over the broken wall and cinderblocks to get outside. It's even worse out here.

The outer fence has been blown to pieces. Four vans are backed up with their doors open wide. Our garden is overrun with walkers, snarling and rushing forward.

I panic, throwing the basket which catches the attention of some. They lunge for it, tearing the poor rabbits to pieces. I run along the building, desperate to find the others.

Gunfire still sounds from the roof, at least two people still shooting. Merle is still shouting orders in the courtyard while shooting the walkers that get close. Thick black smoke fills the air. Something is on fire but I can't tell what.

The van shoots forward, picking up speed and ramming the main gate. It explodes while still half inside. Brently was driving.

Screaming and crying comes from the RVs. We're trapped between fire and walkers and bombs with no clear way out. Merle shouts to David, one of Wyatts men who's also ex military. He passes him a case, a rocket launcher. The man nods, running back through the courtyard to the back field.

Thorin screams. I turn, barely able to shoot the walker behind us. The next two are easier to hit. Then we're running into the courtyard to Merles side.

He shouts that we need a diversion. He says we need to keep them focused on the front while the others escape. Carol runs up, pulling a protesting Thorin from my arms. I yell for them to be ready to leave out the back fence.

Merle climbs into the big rig with its empty trailer. I climb up with him, finally able to see the tank aiming again for the cell block roof. It fires, smoke billowing out the turret while the back of the cell block explodes again.

"Can ya shield us from that?"

"I don't know," I yell back.

He nods, accepting it as truth. Because I don't know if I can stop it. But I'll damn sure try. He shifts the truck into gear, aiming for the fence beside the gate. The ground outside is level so cars could drive over it. But the point is to keep their attention on us.

"I can shield bullets or try to redirect the rocket but not both," I warn him.

"Do what you can," is all he says in return.

We pick up speed, driving over the grass beside the road. Walkers fall beneath the wheels, making the ride bumper than it should be. Rapid gunfire sounds. I throw up a shield, feeling them pinging off like insists on the windshield.

The tanks turret turns, changing its aim. I have less than a second to choose. Because the mounted machine gun is still firing at us. My shield is the only thing holding back the bullets. I have to make a choice.

I release the shield. The window explodes inward, destroyed by the gunfire. I aim at the turret, casting a bludgeoning hex with all the strength I possess. We hit the fence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who...
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy😊💐💐💐


	24. The sandcastle falls

Chapter 24: the sandcastle falls

The tank explodes. I throw up another shield, feeling the bullets ping against it. The fence falls and we rumble through, aiming for the army truck with the mounted gun.

I have a moment to recognize the man from the room. The man with the vacant smile and cruel blue eyes hidden behind false sympathy. The man that called himself Governor.

We ram the truck, pushing it backwards. The gun keeps firing but my shield holds. Others are firing at the rig now. None of the bullets are getting through.

"Can you blow em up?" Merle asks through gritted teeth.

I glance over noticing the blood on his shirt and cheek. He's injured! Of course he is. There was never a possibility that he wouldn't get hit. 

"I'll have to drop the shield."

"Do it," he growls out.

I drop the shield, casting an immediate blasting hex and throwing all my strength behind it. The army truck explodes. For some reason, so do the other two trucks nearby.

Merle stops the rig, breathing heavily. I throw the shield back up just in case. Which is a good thing because there's still people shooting at us.

Merle slumps forward, groaning in pain. I struggle to pull him away from the drivers side where most of the bullets are hitting. He's weak and heavy, wet with warm blood.

My shoulder and chest ache with the movement. My shirt is already soaked for some reason. But I still hold the shield and pull Merle over to my side.

My door opens. I was too focused on the other side. I didn't see the cold man come around.

He raises the gun, aiming at my head. A cold cruel smirk warps his face. I don't want to die! Not by him! 

A blur of black fur barrels into him. The gunshot hits the seat behind me, missing me by less than an inch. I wrap around Merle, ignoring the snarls and screams and gunshots around us.

Suddenly Daryl is there, climbing up in the doorway. He looks us both over with wide panicked eyes. Then he's yelling behind himself, calling to others.

More people gather around. Austin and Jag and Glenn are there, pulling Merle out over me. Hershel leans out of an RV beside us, the larger one that used to belong to Nichelle. They carry Merle there.

Daryl pulls me out, lifting me up in his arms and running after the others. I glance back to see Padfoot tearing the man to pieces. An arm and a chunk of intestines already lay beside them. He's still screaming though.

Wyatt and his two men are steadily shooting out. I can't see if it's people or walkers that they're aiming for but whatever it is it's making them steadily back up. Another explosion occurs behind us. More of the prison is up in flames. Although this time it sounds like the result of previous destruction as there's nothing left to fire into it.

Merle is laid out on the back bed with Hershel and Amy hovering over him. Daryl sits me on the couch, tearing at my clothes and cursing violently. He looks back at his brother, looking lost for a moment. Then he shouts for Maggie to come help him.

They're calling for supplies but Hershels bags were in his cell. I grab Daryls arm, telling him to get my bag. He nods, rushing out the door.

There's more snarling outside. Daryls yelling for Padfoot to get a hold of himself. Then he yells for the others to shoot the walkers and leave the damn beast alone.

Maggie is kneeling on the couch beside me, pressing a towel to my chest. Glenn is on the other side, pressing on my shoulder. Both keep sayin that I'll be alright.

I look down, surprised at all the blood on me. Both towels they're holding are soaked through. Both places burn fiercely.

Daryl slams back inside, holding out one of the backpacks I took from the CDC. It was left in our old RV closet. Thank goodness for that.

He shoves Glenn aside, pushing the pack closer to me. It's a struggle because now that I know I'm hurt, every movement is painful. But Daryl helps me, reaching in and holding up a handful of shrunken bags.

Maggie is yelling at him to get back. Outside, Wyatt is yelling for everyone to load up, there's too many. And Hershel is shouting for bandages, anything to help.

I grab three from his hand, pulling back the spell and throwing them over his shoulder. They resize as they hit the floor. I do it again with the other four.

An overwhelming need to cough hits me and I can't help any more. Daryl is tearing open the unshrunken bags, throwing one to Maggie and rushing two back to Hershel. He has to yell at her to get Maggie to work, she was frozen in shock at the bags appearing from nowhere.

Wyatt jumps onboard, pushing forward to the drivers seat. Daryl curses, rushing to the door while shouting for Padfoot to hurry. The black blur of massive beast barely makes it inside before the RV is moving.

Maggie presses bandages to my chest, shouting orders to Glenn who does his best to comply. They freeze when Padfoot snarls at them, easily dwarfing them while they kneel to help me. Daryl shouts for him to back off, to change back and fucking help!

Too many people are shouting now. My ears blur, as if I'm underwater. Reminds me a bit of the fourth task. I would laugh if my chest didn't hurt so much. But it's hard to breath. Like devil's snare wrapped around me.


	25. Secrets out

Chapter 25: secrets out

We don't go far, only a few miles down the road. Then we stop because Hershel has to operate on Merle. Something about a punctured lung. Padfoot still hovers over me, much to Maggie and Glenns distress.

Daryl tries to order him to change back but he just huffs, licking the blood from my arm. Wyatt looks at him like he's crazy. Glenn looks terrified. But at least they're working on patching me up.

"Did the kids make it?" I can't help but ask. "Who did we loose?"

Wyatt rubs his face tiredly, answering, "T dog, Brently, and Darla died from the blasts. Stephanie and Colton fell to walkers. No idea where Sirius need up."

Darla was Colton and Kaila's mother. She was a nice woman, small and nervous but very sweet. Colton was just a kid, Carl's age. And Stephanie I remember stood at Wyatt's back when we first met. She was sarcastic with a dark sense of humor. 

They didn't deserve to die! None of our people did. But they attacked us. Only, why? Was it because we destroyed their home? Was it revenge? Cruelty? Did we being this upon ourselves?

My stomach twists painfully. Padfoot snarls, probably sensing that I'm upset. Daryl pushes past him, rushing outside and calling for a head count. He orders Carol to double check for wounds. He tells Beth, Carl, and Kaila to check supplies.

Wyatt looks at Padfoot warily, "Y'all sure this thing is safe?"

I understand his concern. Padfoot is an enormous hound, muscular and fearsome. On all fours his head is level with my chest. When he tenses up, muscles coiled and mouth snarling, he looks like a hell beast. So I understand why they're wary of him.

I reach out, patting Padfoots neck, "Come on now, Padfoot. I need you to change back for me. Might need you to help me. Please, snuffles."

He growls angrily, shifting his weight and wiggling around unhappily. I ask again, "Please, snuffles, can you do it for me?"

He glares threateningly at the others then he stalks to the little hallway, sniffing at a wounded Merle before turning back. He paces again, rumbling threateningly. But he relented. And after only a few seconds, it's Sirius kneeling beside the couch.

The others jump, cursing and shocked. Wyatt actually draws his gun but it's obviously a reflex. Sirius snarls, on the edge of transforming again.

I clutch his hand, squeezing and silently begging him to calm down. He huffs, shaking his head like a dog. But he only backs down when Wyatt reholsters his gun.

Then he's climbing into my lap, sniffing and licking at me. I allow it because I know he's more Padfoot than Sirius still. And I'm too hurt to care.

He pulls the bandage away from my shoulder first to lick at the wound. I scream, unable to help the sound. But he locks his mouth on the wound, sucking and biting around it painfully.

Wyatt moves to pull him off but I wave him away. Because I can feel the magic concentrating on the wound. He's doing something, his magic pouring into the wound. And it's painful, so very very painful. But his magic is doing something.

Daryl pushes back inside the RV. He shoves at Sirius shoulder, yelling at him to quit. But when Sirius pulls back it reveals a red puckered wound that's no where near as bad as it was. In fact, it's mostly healed.

Maggie notices it first, gasping in shock and saying it aloud. It's enough for Daryl to huff and tell him to hurry up. He latches back on, pulling and biting and pushing his magic in. It's painful and invasive but it's working.

When he pulls away it reveals a shiny pink scar with a perfect imprint of his teeth around it. Then he moves to the other wound and it's the same all over again. It's painful and invasive and I scream out. 

Maggie shoves a twisted washrag in my mouth, giving me something to bite down on. I clench my teeth, struggling not to scream although it does well to muffle the sounds. And Padfoots weight on me is the only thing stopping me from escaping.

Hershel shouts from the back, demanding an explaination. Daryl yells back for him to fix Merle and not worry about the rest. My chest burns, like fire beneath my skin. And when he pulls back it leaves me feeling hollow and shaky.

"Okay, Pup, time to focus," Sirius calls out clearly. He even pulls the rag from my mouth, rubbing at my bruised lips. "Focus, Pup, and will the wounds to close. Your powers are driven by your will. If you want it enough it will work. I closed the outside but you gotta heal the inside. Now focus!"

I try, squeezing my eyes shut and begging my power to help me. Somehow it works. Warms spreads out from each wound. It's not the foreign fire that he cause. It's not pain. It's warmth that reminds me of sleeping in my cupboard while the Dursleys are away. It's a second of safety.

I vaguely hear Sirius explaining to them. I don't look at them because they're not important. Only our Pack is important. And our pack is injured.

I stumble up, pushing past Sirius and Daryl. Both try to stop me but I snarl a warning, somehow that seemed the right response. Both let me go.

Hershel and Amy try to order me back. Merle is unconscious and there's a bag of clear fluid hanging from a coat hanger above the bed. There's seven bandages taped down across his chest. And his breathing sounds rattly.

I climb onto the bed, pushing at Hershel and Amy. Sirius follows, with a feral snarl. Daryl shouts over all of us for them to let us through.

I crawl onto Merle, focusing on the wounds beneath the bandages. I can feel them, shadows of pain and wrongness. I don't know if this is because of how Sirius was healing me or what. But I know I can heal him.

I pull off the first bandage. Red liquid bubbles. I press a hand over it, pushing into him with my power. His body jerks violently.

Another bandage is pulled off, I press my palm to that one. And I'm pushing more of myself into him. I have to heal him. I can do it. I know I can!

My head spins. The whole room seems to sway. Sirius shouts for me to pull back but I'm not done. I have to heal him. I have to!


	26. Fears and uncertainty

Chapter 26: fears and uncertainty 

I was unconscious for two days. Somehow, the ones in the RV were sworn to secrecy. Sirius explained it all away. And they agreed, even if they look at us warily.

Merle woke up the day before, weak and in pain but alive. Which according to Hershel is a miracle. Because two bullets shredded one lung and his other was hit as well. 

Hershel eyed me suspiciously, asking almost too quiet to hear, "Is Beth gonna change like yall?"

It took me a minute to understand the question. Sirius was faster. He snorted a reply, "We're not werewolves! Shapeshifters are a whole other thing. And my Pup hasn't even shifted yet. There's no guarantee that he will either."

"But I could?" I ask, suddenly feeling a bubble of childish excitement.

Sirius grins, flashing long canine teeth, "Yeah, Pup, I'll help you practice. It'll give us something to do while we're on this crazy long drive."

We stayed on that back road for the first night. Daryl and Sirius went back to pick through the rubble of the prison. They came back with five of our backpacks that weren't destroyed by the blasts. 

I checked through them as soon as I had the chance. Three are food, one is shrunken weapons, and the last is another one full of medical supplies. So at least we're not stuck empty handed. Although those outside the pack don't know about them.

We also rearanged everyone again. We went back in our RV while the others settled in the larger RV. We still have the moving truck with the horse, deer, Turkey, and goats inside so that's something at least. And we have the truck although it's not holding much right now.

We did loose the bag of shrunken diesel trucks that we fought so hard for. It's what caused the last explosion. But we do still have the fuel trucks that were left shrunken in the glove boxes of the truck and moving truck. Daryl brought them to our RV to hide them all.

We still lost a lot. We lost the garden and the orchard. We lost one horse and several people. We lost our home, our safety.

And most of the group doesn't know about our powers. They think Hershel patched us up. They don't know about the shrunken supplies or fuel trucks. They don't know about Sirius transforming. They don't question a lot of things.

Beth visited briefly after I woke up. Thorin wouldn't stay with her so he was left in our RV. Mostly he insisted on staying curled against me. Daryl has been watching over him. Sirius is still halfway feral so he's usually on watch or hiding in our RV. 

But on day two an army truck found us. A large ginger military man named Abraham with a woman named Rosita are taking a scientist named Eugine to Washington. They had found a man and woman, Tyrese and Sasha, only the day before they found us. For some reason we're all going along for the ride.

I asked Sirius about them but he just shook his head. He says they're clinging to delusions and the guy Eugine is a liar. I asked why he hasn't said anything and he shrugs that they wouldn't listen to him anyways.

So we're on the road again. A really long road trip this time. Where we're going halfway across the country which to my understanding could take us weeks or even months. And all on the word of a liar.

So we spend days meditating. Sirius says I need to reach my center, my core, and that meditation will help. Thorin thinks it's awesome but he still gets bored.

Sometimes I tell him stories or read him books. So does Daryl. Merle will get in the floor and race cars with him. Sometimes they build block towers for Thorin to knock down. And he has the mutt to play with, Bilbo. The little fluffy dog is in the other RV.

At night we find somewhere to settle. Sometimes we stop on the side of the road. Sometimes we stop by a house or a building. 

We spent the night in a library which was nice for several reasons. Amy and Hershel gathered all the books on healing and medical knowledge that they could find and tucked them away in the van. I gathered all the children's books as well as anything that hinted to wilderness survival or living off grid. Beth picked a few books to read to pass the time. So did Austin and Nessa.

We stayed another night in an abandoned daycare center. I gathered the clothes, diapers, toys, and food while everyone slept. Nichelle has been quiet but she was grateful for the supplies we gathered there. 

So was Carl. In fact, when we left the next morning he climbed into our RV with his baby sister in his arms. No one questioned it. And he's ridden with us ever since.

He did later admit that Amy didn't care much for Evelyn. That she tends to pass her off to others. So he told her that he wanted his sister back and she didnt argue.

It's not been all easy riding either. We've run into herds. We've run out of fuel even though we're checking every vehicle we pass when we can. Abraham tends to fuss every time we talk about stalling to search for supplies. 

Hershel had Merle and Daryl butcher one of the doe for stew. We've been trying not to eat our animals. Because we will need them, regardless of where we end up. It hasn't been easy though. And I've had to resize a lot of our bags to buy us time.

Abraham is the one that keeps pushing us to hurry. He's always talking about killing our animals and leaving the trucks. He talks about how they're slowing us down. He talks a lot, and most of it is bullshit.

Personally, I don't like him. Neither does the rest of the pack. And we've talked several times about heading out on our own. But we stay. I'm not even sure why we do but we stay.

So far we've managed to keep our convoy moving. There's always a lucky find when tensions get really bad. Usually when Abraham is ready to leave the animals behind or drag us all further on foot.

But water is in short supply and were out of animal food. Abraham won't agree to searching for supplies. Instead he wants to walk head first into a burning city that's clearly overrun still.

It sparks an argument. More and more people refusing to go on such a dangerous path. There's yelling and cursing and someone shouts out something that makes everyone quiet. Then Abraham starts pounding his fists into Eugene. 

Well, I guess he admitted the truth. Sirius huffs, amused at the fight. Merle pats Thorins leg, calling his attention back to the cars they're racing. I pick up Evelyn, bouncing her carefully as she's been teething lately.


	27. Rambling man

Chapter 27: rambling man

Life got a little easier after that. No longer did we have to deal with Abraham beating his chest while barking orders for us to hurry. It was still agreed that we would head towards Washington but there's no longer the urgency that there was before. Which is a good thing because the weather's turned colder as October comes to an end.

It was also nice to not have to listen to Abraham and Rosita having sex every night. They could be ridiculously loud. Something he was very smug about which annoyed a lot of people.

We stopped for a month in a large church. The parking lot outside could probably hold two hundred cars but it has a great line of sight on all sides. It has a central chapel lined with wooden pews and red cushions. 

Surrounding the chapel is two stories of various meeting rooms, classrooms, and offices. The classrooms are on the first floor and had plenty of toys for the kids. But the second floor was safer so we bedded down there.

We hid the vehicles around the back of the building, hopeful no one would notice. Then we moved the animals from the truck into the chapel. They needed to be able to move around. It's not been good for them to be cooped up so long.

Then we set up in the rooms upstairs. One office downstairs we labeled our waste room. That way any trash or animal droppings can be thrown in there. And the animals certainly leave a lot of droppings. Maggie, David, and Eugine tend to be the ones to clean that up.

We assigned a rotation of guards so that two people will always be keeping watch. There is one person on each side so that we'll have eyes all around. It's too vulnerable a building to keep long term but it worked for a short while.

It gave us time to rest and resupply. There was even still some gas at a gas station nearby. Somehow, it was still there. So we were able to fill up both RVs. 

We also spent several days going through two nearby neighborhoods. We found another bassinet as well as plenty of baby boy clothes. We were able to gather blankets and dishes and cookware since we've only had the bare minimum. We even got another grill and bags of charcoal.

I say we but it was mostly Merle and Wyatt leading the runs. They usually take two more guys with them while the others stay behind to keep us safe. And it hasn't been easy on them but they've been doing an amazing job.

I stay behind now to look after Thorin and Evelyn. It's not a bad thing. And after the close call, I'd rather stay close to shield the kids if needed.

Thorin has quite the imagination. So often when he plays he will talk out a story that his toys are doing. Sometimes they shout for help or rescue each other. Sometimes they use magic to make the monsters go away.

He still wants me to follow him to the bathroom. And he won't sleep seperate from me. He's even insisting on the dino pack with the leash any time we're not in the RV. I guess watching our home blown up around us was just too much for him. 

Evelyn and Gam are both getting big. I usually carry Evelyn around in a backpack carrier simply because it's easier. But I also take her daily into the nursery room to play with Gam. Both are crawling really well too.

Daryl and Merle brought back a couple baby walkers for them. It's the kind with the cloth seat in the middle and they can push with their feet to move around. They're not fast yet but both are excited to be mobile.

Tiny is loud. She wants to talk and wants attention. Sometimes it gets too much for Nichelle who's still hurting from loosing Brently. On those days I try to run interference.

Kaila is quiet and withdrawn. I can't imagine what it must be like to loose her mother and brother like that. She's trying, and Beth has been talking to her. Sometimes shes little more than a ghost to the group. Carl helps her the most.

Mika tries to be helpful. She's smart and sweet and often helps with cooking or with chores. Carol smiles proudly at her new daughter whenever she sees her trying so hard to contribute.

We've also gotten to know Sasha and Tyrese. For the most part they keep to themselves. Although I know Nichelle has been sending Tyrese shy smiles lately. And he's a good guy, really gentle natured for one so large and strong.

It's been a nice month, letting us grow closer and have days to just relax together. We took the kids outside to draw on the parking lot with sidewalk chalk. We stayed at the back in the hopes that no one would see but it let the kids have some fun. 

The guys even brought back several kids bikes. That was when it was raining badly for a whole week so the kids rode bikes inside. We also let them paint all over the walls in the downstairs classrooms.

Beth tends to stay with the kids the most. Usually Stephanie and Nessa will help her. Carol and Nichelle usually cook our meals and keep a watch on our food supplies. It's a constant concern but not a huge worry yet. Especially with all the goodies the group has brought back from the houses.

The corner stores were mostly trashed although we did find diapers, sodas, and toothpaste. We found plenty of dog food for our mutts. Maggie, Glenn, and Abraham went on a run for animal feed. It's not perfect but we're making do with what we have. And at least we still have the animals.

There was even a small hospital. It was two stories with only five rooms in their ER. Amy and Hershel went with the guys to clear it. Even Sirius went. 

They came back with a large truck advertising beer with several rolling doors along both sides. It was full of medical supplies and boxes and cases of items. Sirius put a bag in our RV, winking at me when he did. 

He said he found the pharmacy as well as the operating rooms and the women's delivery rooms. He says there's everything in there no matter what we need. Then he mentioned hiding it under the bed with the others.

I groaned in frustration then. How could I be so stupid to forget? When our pack first joined up with the group, what was the first thing we did? 

We hid our supplies! Beneath the bed and stacked on the roof in the transfiguered hatch. Probably a hundred or more bags of supplies, and that's not counting the shrunken ones. How could I forget that?!

Sirius laughs when I tell him. It still won't help us with fuel but now I know we can conveniently find supplies when we need to. I wonder if Merle or Daryl remember it. Probably not or they would've said something before now.


	28. A slow winter

Chapter 28: a slow winter

After the church, we started north again only now at a slower pace. There's no rush now, except to avoid weather. So we don't go far, maybe a hundred miles or so in two weeks.

We stopped for the winter in a small town. And I mean really small. The population was perhaps three hundred max before this mess. It went ghost town really quick.

The good news is that the stores and houses are untouched. Merle says it was probably evacuated early on for some reason. Either way, it's good for us.

We set up at the school in the middle of town square. Or rather, there's a small block with a police station, a grocery store, and an elementary school. There's no middle or high school around so the kids must've been sent out for that.

The police station was locked up. There was only two desks behind a high counter with a stool. Then a hallway along the back of the building held two cells on the left side and two offices on the right.

There was a storage cupboard, a single bathroom, and another small room. It held a gun locker as well as selves of boxes and various supplies. We took the guns and ammo but there wasn't much else to find there. 

The grocery store was an old one, something most of the group seemed to think wasn't around anymore. It has four aisles of food, one aisle of frozen, and one aisle that's split between bread, cakes, and non food items. The shelves aren't fully stocked but it still shocks us all to see it.

We set up in the school since it has a fenced in area we can use for the animals. There's still playground equipment out there which the chickens seem to like but beyond that it's nice. The guys go off to gather wooden fencing from some nearby houses to build up around the playground fence to make it more secure. They even rig up a plastic tarp over part of the enclosure to offer some shelter.

The school itself is a small one. There's six classrooms with a central cafeteria and two small offices near the front of the building. There was a little bit of food in the cafeteria kitchen but not much. 

The amazing thing was that theres a generator in the basement of the school. There was even a few cans of fuel so we were able to get it started up. Having a large kitchen has been amazing and the cafeteria has become our unofficial hang out during the day. Not to mention that now we have heating for the winter which none of us had dared to hope for.

We each grouped up to claim a classroom. Our pack plus Carl, and Evelyn claimed what I think was the second grade class. There were lots of little desks and cubbies along the wall with names on cards tapped to them. 

The guys dragged all of the desks out, tossing them out behind the recess area. I saved a few, shrinking them down. I'm not sure why I did it but it felt like a good idea. And no one noticed because there were too many to miss a few.

Nichelle claimed the kindergarten room. There are a few small toys there for Tiny and Gam to enjoy. Kaila, Carol and Mika join her. 

We've been sending out groups to clear the houses. First walk through was for necessities like food, fuel, and toiletries. After a while we relaxed enough to go more sedately through the houses. 

I went through with the kids, Carol and Michonne as our protection. We went to the homes that had kids previously so they could pick through the clothes and toys. Thorin likes being out with me again. Although he still insists on the backpack leash still.

The girls enjoyed playing dress-up. They did get loud and made quite a mess but it was fun. We all returned to the school smiling with our arms loaded down with clothes and toys. 

The others went out too, shopping through the houses for clothes that they like. Some only gathered a few items while others went a little wild. Beth and Amy even put on a fashion show. Or maybe it was an unfashionable show. Because they mismatched their clothes in the most outrageous ways. Nessa and Stephanie as well as Mika and Kaila joined in.

We cooked a turkey and celebrated Christmas. Although none of us know if it was actually Christmas or not. We just picked a day to cook. 

Decorations were found in the houses. We strung up strings of lights in the rooms and in the halls. We set up a tree in each room, decorating it together as a family or group.

We didn't have much in the way of presents. We had a feast, true, but as for presents, those were lacking. I wrapped up a knife and sheath for Thorin, bigger than his older one. For Daryl I gave him a set of arrows and for Merle I gave him a detective novel. He won't admit it but he loves to read. Most of the gifts were practical one. A few were for pleasure but most were practical. 

We also had a wedding celebration for Glenn and Maggie. They've been together for a while but they decided that they wanted to exchange vows. So Hershel stood before our group in the cafeteria and married them. 

It was nice as far as a post apocalyptic wedding could be. She wore a white summer dress even though there was snow outside. He wore a suit that was two sizes too big. And they exchanged mismatched rings while smiling joyously at each other.


	29. Coming clean

Chapter 29: coming clean

We set up one of the classrooms as our laundry/bathing room. We have lines nailed up for us to hang clothes and a small plastic swimming pool to act as our washing machine. We use some water plus a bit of washing powder and a broom with a long end and thick short bristles.

I dump the basket into the pool, taking up the broom handle to mix it all. It's not easy, about like mixing mud, but it's how we do it. Nessa and Sammie are helping today. I mix the clothes for about five minutes. They check them, ring them out and scrub if needed. Then we hang them up to dry and start on the next load of clothes.

Sometimes David's wife Melissa will come through with another basket. She will even help after the first two loads are done. It's not fun but it's necessary work. And we only do this once a week which is probably why there's so much to clean.

The door clicks open and Daryl slips in. Somehow he manages to look both confident and awkward as he approaches us. That's probably because of the women present. He tends to avoid most of Wyatts original group. I guess he thinks they don't like him or something.

He looks around, obviously stalling for time. Melissa sends me a warnin look although I don't know what the warning is. But she passes me the blanket that she was trying to twist the water out of, giving me an excuse I guess.

I hold up the heavy bundle, meeting Daryls gaze. He quirks a half smile, that barely there one that can't really be called a smile. He helps me shake out the blanket and drape it over one of the stronger ropes at the back of the room.

"Everything okay?" I ask quietly, pretending we have more privacy than we do.

"Wanna ask a question but I ain't sure if I should," he answers back just as quietly.

"You know I won't mind," I offer.

The blanket is up so I go back to gather the next one. Nessa passes me two smaller fuzzy blankets, throws really, and Sammy passes me a large quilt. I take them back to Daryl who helps silently.

"Did we force ya?" He finally asks, refusing to look at me.

"No, of course not," I answer quickly.

Honestly, I thought we were past this already. I thought we'd all decided to pretend it never happened. Mostly for the peace of mind of the rest of the group.

"Overheard Beth telling Maggie that we was always pushing you two," he mumbles out awkwardly.

Oh, I wonder why she did that. She has been avoiding us, as much as she can with the way things are. She's still keeping our secrets for the most part. But she's been more and more withdrawn as time goes by. Honestly, I worry. But Merle and Sirius both tell me to leave her alone and let her decide what she wants.

Daryl shifts beside me, glancing over in concern. I guess I was quiet for too long because now he looks worried. But I guess I thought I had already answered this question.

"I can't speak for Beth," I shrug uncertainly, "but I never felt pressured."

He leans against the wall, biting his thumbnail and looking down thoughtfully. He's mostly hidden from the others by the hanging blankets so I guess he doesn't mind getting distracted here. I finish the last blanket and join him, leaning beside him. 

"I don't know if it was different for me or not," I offer the only explaination I can. "It's just... I always felt safe. I still feel safe. I never felt pressured or as if I didn't matter. It felt like it mattered, you know?"

He glances over, frowning but not angry. Perhaps he's confused about being confused. Or maybe he expected me to say different. But I just tell him the truth.

"I trust you, I trusted all of you," I try to explain. "And I knew that if I ever said stop then we'd stop. I knew that no one would do anything that wasn't agreed upon."

He relaxes, nodding his understanding. I add, "And it wasn't just that. It felt like we were sharing something amazing. I don't think it was just about seeking our own pleasure. It felt like we were sharing an experience. It felt like we were connecting, bonding."

A shy smile quirks up one side of his mouth, his eyes lighter and his shoulders less hunched. He is a handsome man. I've always noticed but in this muted light it seems more obvious.

Yes, he is dirty and his clothes need a wash. His cheeks and jaw are scruffy and his hair hangs down in his eyes. He even smells like sweaty horse because he and the others built a stall for them and he's been out there cleaning it with Maggie, Beth, and Eugine.

But I love the light that brightens up his eyes. I love the little half smiles that change his whole expression. I love the way he would pull me close and run his fingers through my hair. I love how proud he was after we would fool around.

And it's not just that. I love how caring he is with Thorin and Evelyn. I love how he talks grumpy but he's the biggest momma bear of us all. I love how proud he is when Thorin asks him for a story or when Evelyn only calms for him.

I miss what we had only because it feels like there's a wall between us now. Before it was like we knew each other, outside and in. It was amazing, the level of trust we shared. But now, it feels like they censure themselves. It feels like they hold back.

"I'm not good with words," I tell him. "I felt safe and trusted and close to you. I felt like what we shared was amazing. I love what we did together. And I hate how it's all been twisted up into something horrible."

"'S my fault," he mumbles angrily.

I try to argue but he sighs out tiredly, "It's cause of what I did with Beth."

I guess that's true but that wasn't what we did. That wasn't how we were. That was just one time and I'm still not sure why it happened.

He huffs, mumbling ashamed, "She wanted me ta talk dirty to her. I guess it was more mean than anything. First she wanted me ta be rough with her. Said she was curious if she'd like it. But I wouldn't do that so she told me ta talk rough instead."

"Why?" Why would someone like being treated that way? Why would you want to be hurt? How is that at all appealing?

"Said she read somethin before all this," he huffed. "Talked about spankin an shit. I said I ain't gonna smack no body less they piss me off an that ain't what she wants."

"So you talked mean to her while she blew you?" I ask, uncertain if I want an answer.

He huffs, "Stupid right? And I ruined everything."

"Have you talked to her?"

He snorts, "Ya mean when the others let her out of their sight for more than a second? Yeah, I tried. She said I'm the adult an I shoulda known we was wrong. She said we pressured her to try things she shouldn't."

I hum, unsure what to say to that. But he doesn't need me to comment. He continues even quieter, "I miss what we had. I miss how nice it was to touch each other. But I swear I never meant to hurt yall."

"I know," I reassure him. "And I don't think you hurt me at all. I liked what we did. I miss it too. But I understand why you both hold back."

He watches me a moment, a tension bleeding out of him. He smiles again, a real gentle smile, "We could... well, we could try again. If you want? Only if you want."

My cheeks warm but so does my chest. I smile back, answering quietly, "I'd like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With how Beth was raised and her family constantly throwing the blame off of her and onto the Dixons, shes started to believe it. She's also ashamed of having relations with four men, more or less, and worries about why she liked being with them so much. She would rather say that she was pressured than admit that she likes kinky things.
> 
> Part of the issue is pack mentality or mob mentality. When people get together encouraging each other they will do things that they wouldn't normally do. Like how some girls can be encouraged to participate in a wet t shirt contest or a group goes skinny dipping and running around naked on dares.
> 
> Daryl didn't make a public apology because he didn't think they were wrong, he thought it was just bad luck that they were caught while doing something unconventional. Most of the group, especially Wyatts group, are under the impression that that's how they were every time. But most of the time they were affectionate and encouraging. 
> 
> Harry craves affection and encouragement. He is still mentally centered on pack or not pack but not to the extreme that Sirius is. I think Daryl and Harry would both crave the closeness of a relationship but I also think Daryl would chose Beth as his first choice. Since he can't be with her and he knows Harry cares for him and he cares for Harry then he offers for them to try being together.
> 
> Anyways, hope y'all enjoy😊💐


	30. Nothing's secret anymore

Chapter 30: nothing's a secret anymore

Honestly, nothing is a secret anymore. The women overheard us even if we were being quiet. And within a day it got around to the others. I've had five people just this morning come up to me to talk. And it's not even lunch yet!

I tried to explain. I told Austin what Daryl said about how that was them trying something different. I told him that it shocked me to hear what was said because it's so different from what we've done that I didn't believe it. He's trying to give me the benefit of the doubt.

Hershel tried to tell me that I'm being drawn into a sinful life. I'm not sure if it's the gay thing or the age thing that bothers him more. So I took a page from Sirius and snarled at him. Probably because he was the fourth to try an intervention.

Abraham pulled me aside, telling me how Daryl is wrong and he's going to kick his ass. I told him if he tries I'll shoot his ass. He huffed and sputtered and essentially accused me of being too stupid to know someone's hurting me. I flashed him my back and told him I'm perfectly aware of when someone is hurting me and Daryl most certainly is not.

I stopped Glenn and Maggie when they tried to talk to me. I didn't want to hear what they had to say. It's my life and it should be my choice. Why do they have to interfere?

The worst was Merle. Not that he yelled or anything. He was quiet. He pulled me with him, said we were going scavenging. So I shrugged on a coat and followed behind him. 

We walk down the snow covered street, glancing dismissively at the already pillaged houses on either side. We've already gone through them all and for the most part we've picked them clean. But this isn't about scavenging. He just wants to talk to me alone.

"He pressuring ya?" Merle asks, refusing to look over at me.

"You know he isnt," I answer him, feeling offended on Daryl' s behalf.

He sighs tiredly, "You know you don't have to agree to anything."

"I've never felt pressured with either of you," I answer, frowning at the way his eyes flinch.

"We shouldn't'a done all that with ya," he grumbles sadly.

I sigh, far too tired of this conversation, "What we did was amazing. I loved it. I trusted you both and I felt like we shared something amazing. I never felt pressured or like I was being used."

He frowns over at me and I can't help getting mad. Because I'm not the idiot they think I am. So what if I like taking care of them. So what if I enjoy giving them pleasure. It doesn't mean that it's not my choice because it is!

"I loved the feel of your cock in my mouth, the taste of you on my tongue," I snap out almost cruelly. "I got off on the sounds you made and the way you touched me."

He stumbles, looking at me in shock. And suddenly I regret the anger. Because I know he doesn't mean any harm to me. I know he's worried and wants me to be safe. And I know he beat himself up for weeks about what we did, the two of us. He regretted it the moment it was done, I know that. But he's taking blame and shame onto himself that he doesn't deserve.

"I love you," I tell him gently, half in apology. "I love you both. I loved sharing those experiences with you. I loved how safe I felt. I loved getting to take care of you. I loved how much you enjoyed it too."

He frowns, looking away. He shakes his head, sounding pained, "I can never touch ya like that again."

"I know," and I do. Because he hated himself for what he wanted and he's clung to that shame to build the wall between us. He'll still come to bed, curl up beside me. He'll hug me or laugh and joke with me. But he also holds himself back from me.

"I just," he huffs, clearly searching for words. "I just care about ya and I don't want ya to get hurt."

I wrap around him, hugging him. With a soft whisper against his chest I tell him, "I love you both. I trust you both. I'm not asking for you to want me, you don't have to. But don't give Daryl grief about wanting me too when I need him."

I lean back to look up at him, "I need him. I want to share those experiences with him again. I want that closeness back, I need it. Please, don't deny me."

He smiles down at me, somehow looking proud, pained, and protective all at once. But proud seems to win. Because he presses a kiss to my forehead with a whispered promise to support me in this.

Daryl walks up, eyeing us worriedly. Something skittish in his behavior seems to hit Merle hard. So Merle drags him close, passing me to him. Then he slaps his brothers back with a warning for us to be careful.

"He mad?" Daryl asks, his body tight with tension.

I shake my head, "I think he was just worried about both of us."

Daryl huffs, his breath misting in the cold, pulling me closer. I shiver as the wind picks up. He nuzzles my cheek, asking, "They hounding you too?"

I snort, guessing accurately that he's probably had a worse morning than I have. He huffs an unamused laugh. I snuggle closer, both for warmth and for comfort. It's nice to be held, to have fingers running through my hair.

"Ya know, I'll follow your lead on this," he states calmly. "We ain't gonna do nothin ya ain't ready for or wanting. Okay?"

I press a kiss to his jaw, rubbing my cheek against his scruffy one, "I love you and I trust you. We'll figure this out between us."

He tugs my head back, pressing a gentle kiss of chapped lips to mine. I grin, licking both our lips before he pulls back. He chuckles too, amused now. We share another kiss, a softer press of lips. Then we pull back. 

Neither of us want more right now. It's the connection, the relationship that we want. It's the intimacy and the trust, that's what we both need from this. So there's no rush. We'll go at our own pace and ignore everyone else.


	31. Foreboding on the wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos, I love hearing from y'all and I'm so happy that y'all like my stories❤💐💐💐💐💐😊

Chapter 31: foreboding on the wind

The snow is thick enough that we brought the last of the animals inside. It was just too much of a risk to keep them out in this cold. Unfortunately, the only room big enough was the cafeteria. 

The chickens and turkeys we have penned up in an office at the front of the building. They've been inside since the snowfall was thick enough to be a hindrance. The goats and pigs came in next, trapped in a classroom. But the deer and two horses would've frozen to death even in the barn we built for them. So we moved all the animals together in the cafeteria.

That's left us without a central meeting place. We still have the Christmas lights in the hallways and trees up, even now a month later. So for the most part we hang out in the classrooms or hallway. The hallway now has an abundance of chairs, pillows, and beanbag chairs scattered along the walls.

We haven't been going out to the houses anymore. Partly because it's just too cold but mostly because we've already gone through them to the point there's nothing else we want. So the only people who go outside are the ones who take guard shifts on the roof.

I guess I should be grateful that they don't put me on watch. Because every time Daryl, Merle, or Sirius comes back inside they're shivering and half frozen. So we tend to cuddle in piles for warmth. 

The furnace is burning full blast but it's still cold inside the building. So we layer up our clothes and stay close to share body heat. We keep the little ones in carriers on us and poor Thorin is bundled up like a little snowman in a jacket three sizes too big. 

For the most part we've just been floating through the days. It's made us complacent and unguarded. It hasn't put us in danger yet but for some reason I've had a bad feeling all day.

It started around lunchtime. I felt a tick between my shoulderblades, like someone staring at me. Its the way i used to feel at Hogwarts on Halloween. Like I know something bad is coming but I don't know what it is.

I told the others. Or well, Daryl asked me why I was so jumpy. Probably because he snuck up on me while I was on the roof looking out for any clue what the threat is. He was just being playful, grabbing my waist. But I jumped about a foot in the air and drew my gun. 

I apologized but he's been on edge since. I told Sirius so he snuck out, transforming since Padfoots senses are stronger than a humans. He admitted that he smelled humans nearby, as close as the police station but didn't follow their scents further than a mile down the road. Now everyone is tense.

Not that everyone understands. Most think he found some footprints. Besides the pack, only Hershel, Maggie, Glenn, Amy, and Wyatt know. They still haven't told the others which makes me worry that Sirius did something so they can't tell. I don't know if it's possible but if it is then he's probably done it. Because this group likes gossip too much to keep quiet on something like this.

At least they acknowledge that it's a benefit and not a threat. There's been a few times that Hershel has looked at us like we're something feral and dangerous. But for the most part he ignores our existence as much as he can.

I hope to transform soon. Sirius says I just need to relax and let it come. He says that the first transformation is the hardest because you have to know your other form completely. Which I do but for some reason I still hesitate. 

Merle compared it to jumping off a roof into a swimming pool. I'm not sure why such an analogy exists but Sirius agrees that it's accurate. And I'm trying, honestly I am. It's just that every time my body starts to twist I tense up and it stops. I'll get there eventually.

Beth has started to come around again. I guess she finally got tired of her family keeping her locked away like some broken princess. She is only talking to me and Thorin and only when others are around. But it's nice to have my friend back.

She admits that she thought I wouldn't forgive her. I admit I was worried she would waste away without talking to us again. But we easily clicked back into our friendship.

We talked about our friends and what they would think of the world. We talked about our early days after the farm when we wasted days relaxing and having fun. We even had a painting contest with the group where everyone got a paintbrush and we decorated the back hall. 

It's been nice, just relaxing and having fun. But this feeling has my stomach in knots all day. Wyatt sends Abraham and Rosita on watch since both are a good shot. Hopefully they'll notice any threats before they come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because life in the apocalypse is horrible and I need them to see how crazy people can be since they never went to terminus.
> 
> Enjoy😊


	32. A pack of rabid dogs

Chapter 32: a pack of rabid dogs

I can't explain what woke me exactly. It was difficult to fall asleep but between being cacooned with the kids in the middle of our pile and Daryl distracting me earlier I did manage to fall asleep. But something freezes my muscles, has me immediately ready for a fight.

Daryl feels the difference, shifting around as he wakes. I look around the dark room but I can't see anything in the shadows to account for this fear. Still, I know there's a threat nearby. I feel it in my soul.

I push at Merles shoulder where he sleeps on Carl's other side. He grumbles as he wakes but is alert quickly. I push my foot against Padfoot where he's curled behind my knees. He snorts and snuffles and crawls out from under the blankets, transforming as he moves.

"Somethings wrong," I tell them, "something here I just don't know what."

They don't argue or complain. All three crawl from the bedding, dressing quietly and gathering weapons. I crawl out too, tucking the blankets more securely around the kids.

"Abraham and Rosita are on watch," Merle whispers, mindful to move silently.

"You stay, keep the kids safe," Daryl tells me, almost challengingly.

I agree, mostly because I don't want them left alone. Thorin knows to be quiet and Carl is a decent shot but Evelyn is loud and all three are vulnerable. I would rather stay with them and keep them safe than leave them at risk.

All three men slip out into the dark hallway. Which is odd because there should be Christmas lights out here still. But the hall is dark and silent. Too silent. The generator isn't running.

I glance over but all three seem to realize it too. Perhaps that's what woke me, the generator going quiet. Hopefully it's not damaged. But it will be dangerous for us if we don't get it turned back on.

I close and lock the door after them. My hands tremble with the need to do something, to fight something. My magic is sparking and pulsing threateningly. 

Thorin grumbles unhappily, peaking out from under the covers. He blinks around confused, no doubt noticing that we've all moved away. I hurry over, motioning for him to stay down. His eyes widen at that, realizing that theres a danger nearby.

Gunshots sound in the silent night, making us both jump. Carl wakes startled, clutching at his sister beside him. I grab the baby carrier, motioning Carl to sit up so I can put it on him. We may need to move quickly and it will be easier if he's carrying Evelyn.

Screams sound from down the hall. Shouts and cries and gunshots echoing deafeningly. Both boys dress quickly, no longer worried about remaining silent.

The doorknob rattles violently. Then something heavy slams into it. I grab both boys arms, pulling them over to the desk shoved in the corner. They slide under it, hidden from view.

The door crashes open as someone large fills the doorway. I only have a second to notice they're tall, nearly brushing their head on the door frame. I notice the long wild hair and when his head turns slightly I can see the shadow of a big bushy beard. I notice that he's wide in the shoulders, easily filling the doorway.

Then he's moving, running inside. I fire my gun, hearing him grunt and stumble but keep coming. I fire again as he slams into me, shoving me against the wall.

I fire again, warm liquid sprays my face. His hands, larger than Merles, clutch at my arms a moment before he falls heavily to the ground. Another one is there, grabbing my arm and swinging me away from the wall.

My gun clatters to the ground. I grab my knife in time for the man to be on top of me. I stab upward, hitting the strong chest. But a large fist slams into my head.

I try to blink past it. My head throbs, my ears ring. It's a bit like bein hit with a bludger honestly. And with that thought I notice the raised fist coming down.

I throw my left arm up to block, desperately casting a bludgeoning hex. My magic pulses out, lifting him off me and slamming him into the wall. I scramble up, searching quickly for my gun.

The man stands. He shakes himself like a dog and letting loose a laugh that reminds me of the hyena at the zoo. It's a cold laugh, pure insanity even worse than Bellatrix Lestrange.

I dive for my gun, sliding across the bedding. He leaps at me, still laughing horribly. I raise the gun as he lands. His teeth bite down on my arm as I fire the gun.

I scream, shocked that a living human would sink teeth into my arm. But that's what he did, he bit me. His body goes limp, heavy to the point of crushing me.

I kick and wiggle, struggling to shove him off. A small burst of magic flips him over on his back. I gulp down precious air, grateful to breathe again.

There's still screaming in the halls. There's snarls and insane laughter. Then I hear Tiny scream, high pitched and terrified.


	33. Shifting perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: violent rape, non con of child.
> 
> Harry transforms and kills people raping some of the group. You can skip if you want.

Chapter 33: shifting perspective 

They say time slows down but it doesn't. If anything, it speeds up. You just notice more details for some reason.

Like how I felt the tension rippling over my body. How I didn't clench in fear this time. Instead I welcomed it, embraced it, as my body transformed.

My hands expanded, puffing up with muscles and webbing together. My face stretched, elongating as my teeth lengthen. My knees buckle, snapping and breaking before they remold themselves.

Fur ripples over my body. My ribs crack and shift their hold. My spine lengthens, wiggling free only for skin and muscle and fur to follow.

Sirius said the first transformation is the most physical. He said that you will feel your body changing, remodeling itself into its new form. I just didn't expect it to be so violent or painful.

I shake it off, stumbling the first few steps on unsteady paws. The world is a wash of grey but trails of color flit like visible perfume on the air. Scents, I'm seeing scents.

I sniffle, testing out how well my brain catalogs the scents. I can follow the choking black scent, like death and rot, to the two men dead on the floor. One has a sickening yellowish tint while the other has a hungry dark red. But their base scents are similar and they carry each other's scent enough that my brain says their packmates, possibly brothers.

I smell the earthy brown and green that my brain says is Daryl. It carries the faintest wiffs of my own scent, flashes of a brighter green and blue. Merles scent is like faint smoke and leather and motor oil, all light wisps curling together within our pack scent. Sirius has a wilder scent, one my brain can't put a name to but I know means wild and dangerous.

All of this takes barely a second. I glance back at the kids still hidden by the desk. I smell my cub, Thorin, like fresh cut grass and muddy footprints. I smell Carl, sad and lonely like a room enclosed until the airs gone stale. There's Evelyn's scent, all baby soft, the faintest powder with the sweet scent of milk. Beneath that is the begining of our pack scent taking root in them. 

I huff, blowing out the scents and taking in more. My ears twitch, cataloging the screams and shouts and gunshots. Then I hear Tiny whimpering and I remember why I transformed.

With a snarl I rush forward. I have a moment to marvel at how silent my paws are even if they're larger and heavier than my hands were. I notice my eye is level with the doorknob even if my chin is down threateningly. I notice my fur brushes both sides of the doorway as I scramble through.

The hallway is dark but I can see well enough to move. Although I also think it's scents I'm seeing and not actual movement. Especially since it's like a million ribbons, some bright while others have faded, all floating through the air.

I snort out, ignoring the scents to rush through the open door in the room down from mine. Five men are in here, two as large as the ones I killed and the other three more slender. They all carry the same pack scent of death and decay and rot.

I see Mika curled around Tiny in the corner. I see Gamba screaming terrified in the bassinet against the wall. But the men are focused on Nichelle, Sasha, and Carol.

I leap forward, not hesitating between entering the room and attacking. My jaw closes around hair and flesh and I bite down, twisting and rolling and pulling him with me. Warm liquid sprays out, the body falls, dragging Sasha with it and I release the head. Then I leap again.

The next slams a fist into my side. He stumbles back from Carol, his wet cock catches the light. My teeth clamp down on his shoulder, shaking him violently while snarling my fury at them. 

He hits me again and again. I twist and shake and release my hold just to clamp down on the softer flesh of his throat lost beneath a musky filthy beard.

Warm meat and blood fill my mouth. I shake, feeling the body fall away. I spit out the meat, a few hairs are caught on my teeth as I leap at the next. He didn't have time to pull out of Nichelle before I bury my claws in his side and my teeth in his throat. He dies choking on blood while I spit out the chunk of flesh.

The next one is on the ground, rutting something. Then I see a hand reaching out from under him, reaching for Carol. And I know it's Kaila.

I leap on him, snapping his shoulder and clawing down his back. His coat is thick but it shreds easily beneath my claws. And I don't just bite and shake, I hear away flesh and cloth. I bite his arm, yanking it back harshly and hearing the snap of bone.

He screams, raising up while trying to reach back to me. I release his arm, scrambling in front of him and throwing my weight against him. It pulls him out of her even if she screams.

I bite down, catching his throat but not tearing it out. Instead I dig. I dig my front claws as if I could reach beneath him. I scrape away clothes and flesh and squishy bits. I dig, my nails catching and ripping his insides out. I dig and dig while he screams.

A gunshot sounds nearby. My paws hit the ribs, clawing deeper into his body. He screams louder, horrified and insane. I snarl every ounce of hatred I feel, damning him to feel all the pain that he's inflicted on others.

When I finally tear out his throat he's already dead. I've hollowed out his body, leaving an open cavity behind and a mess all around us. I drop the throat, biting the head and shaking violently until it comes loose.

A rumble sounds beneath us. Lights flicker, suddenly too bright after the thick dark. I blink around to see Daryl in the doorway, looking back at me warily.

Sasha is still tugging her pants back up. Carol is still half naked, wrapped around a sobbing Kaila while trying to cover her with a blanket nearby. Nichelle lays still, her head twisted back oddly. By the smell of her cooling body I know she died before I came in the room.

I step closer to Carol who scrambles back with a scream, pulling Kaila with her. Sasha raises her gun, aimed at me but trembling in fear and confusion. I drop the head, nudging it closer to Carol and Kaila. It's for them after all. But they just hide their faces while sobbing in terror.

"Harry?" Daryl edges forward, a spicy tang of uncertainty within his scent. 

I snuff, licking my muzzle and stepping closer. He's my mate after all. Although he looks a little ill and fear prickles along his scent. I snort out, not liking the fear scent.

My head is level with his chest so it's easy to look up and sniff at his jaw. I lap at his chin affectionately. He's not injured, the blood on him isn't his. My tail wags happily, my mate is a strong one. I lick along his jaw, his neck, and down his arms to his hands still clutching his bow.


	34. Red dawn

Chapter 34: red dawn

Daryl corralled me back to our room. Then he had to shout for Sirius because I don't know how to shift back. Merle and Sirius both reenter the room, stopping shocked at the sight of me.

"A direwolf?" Sirius crows out amused, "My Pup's a direwolf!"

"The fucks a direwolf?" Merle snaps back.

Sirius grins, making a sweeping motion towards me. He's beaming proudly, sparks of joy like lightening moving throughout his scent. I wag my tail, pleased he's proud of me.

My jaw opens in a wide yawn. I lay down, feeling far too tired. And my side and head ache. So I shift my weight and lay down, resting my head on my paws.

Sirius comes over, still high from the fight. He talks soothingly explaining what I need to do to be human again. I concentrate on his words, focusing on the meaning. 

It's difficult but it works. It's like coming up for air after being under water. Or perhaps under mud would be a better analogy. Because the transformation was heavy, stifling more than I thought. But the transformation back went smoothly.

It turns out that I was stabbed several times in the side. The guy that kept hitting me had a knife in his hand and for some reason I didn't notice. Daryl patches me up, bandaging the wounds since Sirius says my power should take care of healing it.

Wyatt comes through with a busted lip and blood dripping down his face. He glances around, asking for a headcount and for everyone to gather in the kitchen. Then he leaves, probably going to the girls room.

And it hits me what happened. I'm not bothered that I killed those men but what they did... My stomach churns at the memory, at the scents in that room.

I wipe off the blood and change into clean clothes. Thorin hovers at my back, waiting for me to hold him. He even brought over his dino pack and his plastic hippo toy. So I attach the leash and carry him while he clings desperately to my neck.

Carol comes out of their room, hugging her sweater around her. Tiny in her arms and Mika and Kaila crowded close. Sasha comes out next with Gam held close to her chest. All of them are red faced from crying and hiding under layers of clothes.

The hallways are a mess. David is crumpled halfway down, his head bashed in completely. Two of the berserkers lay dead near him, both obviously shot in the head. One of the corpses still hold the black painted bat that was used.

We step around the bodies although we can't avoid all of the blood. So red footprints follow us regardless. We just try to ignore it.

Tyrese is already in the kitchen, hugging Beth close while she sobs. Maggie and Glenn are both bruised and bloody nearby. But I don't see Hershel anywhere.

Sasha goes to Tyrese who lifts his other arm to embrace his sister. There's a bandage on his arm that's already turning red and his eye is swelling but overall he seems alright. And while Beth hides her face I can already see the bruise forming on her cheek and jaw.

Austin stumbles in with Nessa's arm over his shoulder. Her face is a mess, clearly beaten badly. But Austin is equally bruised and flinches with each step. I'm not sure how either are upright.

Wyatt comes in carrying Sammie who's curled over her stomach, sobbing in pain. He calls for Hershel but that only makes Beth wail louder. 

Glenn is the one to say he didn't make it. Merle suggests Amy but Wyatt shakes his head. I guess she didnt make it either.

Is it just us? Are we all that's left? What about Eugene or Abraham or Rosita? What about David's wife Michelle or her sister Vanessa or Jag? Is it really only us?

Merle and Daryl are sent out on patrol while Wyatt takes the roof. He says we need another sweep to ensure they're all gone. The rest of us are stuck in the kitchen, clinging to each other and sobbing in pain.

I don't ask what happened to them because it's obvious. Instead I hold Thorin while Carl cuddles against my side with Evelyn in the carrier on his chest. Kaila stays pressed against Carol with Mika while Tiny crawls over Sasha to be held beside her brother.

The red dawn rises, glaring brightly through the back window. It's a painful, mournful morning. All it does is throw into focus what all we lost. 

We get to work, this time I help, while Carol and Beth stay with the kids and those to injured to help. The rest of us carry bodies outside to the playground area. We're mostly just tossing them out since we can't bury anyone right now. The snow will probably preserve them anyways.

Michelle is carried out, her throat torn out by human teeth. She's laid in the barn beside her husband. Vanessa's throat is crushed, a handprint black against her pale skin. Amy's neck was snapped just like Nichelle's. Jag was gutted with a thin sharp metal pole stabbed through his chest. Hershel was beaten, much like David, until there's nothing left to recognize. 

Eugene was missing but Merle spotted him from the roof. He was thrown down and landed on his neck, dying instantly. Abraham was shot. Rosita was... well, she's dead too. It looks like she choked to death. Or that's our best guess considering how badly they messed her up.

We sort through the rooms, packing up supplies. We can't leave yet but we would rather be ready. So everything salvageable is moved into one classroom while the rest of the rooms are closed up.

Wyatt says when the snow thaws away enough we'll bury them. Until then, they'll stay in the barn and we'll stay together. He said that he and the brothers are going to put up traps in case someone else tries what they did.


	35. Moving on

Chapter 35: moving on

Michonne came back inside while we were cleaning out the bodies, bloody sword in hand. Apparently there were three that ran and she chased them down. I didn't realize she was missing. How did I not notice? 

We all move in a fog. Beth has started sleeping with the pack again only now she curls at Carl's back and Merle sleeps back to back with her. Evelyn and Thorin sleep in the middle, between me and Carl. Then Daryl sleeps at my back and Sirius either sleeps human at his back or dog at my legs.

The rest of the group knows we're something else now. I guess it was never going to stay a secret but I can't help feeling uneasy with so many knowing. Although they don't know about the magic.

It was late that first night after a day of cleaning. All of us were uneasy, jumping at the slightest sound. So no one was even sleeping. Not that any of us expected to sleep.

"Out of curiosity," Sasha calls out in a bored tone, "are we all pretending that Harry isn't a werewolf?"

"I'm not a werewolf!" I yelp out startled.

Merle pats my arm from where he's curled around Carl. Beth was still hiding between Maggie and Glenn that night. Sirius sits up frowning, "How do you know it was him?"

"Daryl called his name," Sasha answers tiredly.

Sirius huffed annoyed but explained, "We're not werewolves and we're not infectious. We're shapeshifters and it's an ability that either you have or you don't but we're born with the ability."

Daryl strokes my stomach, pressing kisses to my shoulder when he feels me trembling. Merle pats my arm, showing his support with a pointed look. And it helps because our pack is strong and we protect each other.

No one has brought it up since. I've transformed a dozen times already to help Sirius patrol the area. Mostly I just need to get away from the building. It still reeks of the attackers as well as those we lost. And it doesnt help that our group is damaged and unable to heal in this place.

So as soon as the snow starts to melt away we get ready to leave. We gathered maps when we first stopped but we hadn't looked them over until after the attack. Merle, Wyatt, and Michonne were the ones to gather around to discuss our options.

We're more vulnerable now because we have fewer people to keep guard. We have plenty of food, we've rationed it carefully, and our animals have been breeding. It's just that the world is dangerous and it won't be easy to move the animals.

So it was decided that they would take out a horse, leaving two at a time in either direction to search out a possible relocation. Usually Merle and Daryl would go but some days it was Sirius, Michonne, or Wyatt. 

Michonne comes back a month after we started sending scouts out. She said there's an orchard, green apples and peach trees as well as fruit bushes. Of course they're barren from the winter still gripping us but come summer they would be an amazing benefit. So we agree to relocate there. Mostly because it's a wide open place that can easily be turned into a farm for us.

We still have to wait another week for the roads to clear. So we start stretching ourselves out between the two. Wyatt, Austin, Maggie, Glenn, and Tyrese went ahead to the orchard but they came back a few days later pale and shaken. Apparently a herd moved through it. I guess it's a good thing we didn't move the animals yet.

The snow is finally cleared enough for us to move on but we're still hesitant. The orchard is still overrun so that's not an option. In the end we decide to load up and risk the road. Anything to escape this place really. All of us are plagued with nightmares making it impossible to rest or relax here.

We last another week before we run out of fuel. It leaves us stranded on a backroad near an old rotten barn. We move the animals into it mostly to let them move around. It cant be good for them to be cooped up as they've been. Especially with several giving birth.

Merle orders us all to move to the barn for safety. He, Daryl, Wyatt, Michonne, and Sasha will go out to look for fuel. He says they may be gone a day or two but for us to remain here. 

It's a nerve racking wait. Padfoot spend the whole time prowling around outside. The rest of us spend our time looking after the animals. Maggie and Beth show the rest of us what to do since most of us don't know much about animals. 

Thorin drags Tiny around with him to feed the chickens. She's scared of them so every time they run towards her she shrieks and runs to me. She does better with the goats for some reason.

Evelyn and Gamba are stumbling around more now. At a little over a year old both are energetic and louder than is safe. But both are also good at being quiet when we tell them to. And at least here we can get some rest.

Somehow I end up taking care of them both plus Tiny. I don't mind, I prefer to have them close where I can protect them. My wolf has already accepted them as pack.

Mika and Carol tend to the pigs. Which is good because three of them are pregnant. Plus we have two pregnant deer and two pregnant goats. So where ever we get settled we will have a good livestock.


	36. Stalker

Chapter 36: stalkers

The noise startled us all. Carl pulls his gun, tense and ready. Mika runs to Carol, quietly crying. Kaila shifts to hide behind Carl, trembling as she tries to make herself invisible. 

I move to stand in the middle of the barn, ready to shield them if I need to. Thorin clings to my leg until Beth pulls him away, cuddling him close as she tucks herself down beside Carl and Kaila.

The doors burst open. Merle comes stomping in pulling a rope dragging a bound man. The others follow them in, weapons in hand and angry but not alarmed.

The man has brown eyes within a narrow face. His eyes are wide, breaths coming too quickly beneath the tie gag. His red hair is cut short and his thin limbs are long and awkward.

Merle shoves him to his knees just inside the barn doors. The others slip inside, closing the doors behind them. Merle levels his gun at the terrified man.

"What's going on?" Carol asks.

"Him an his friend been stalking us," Merle answers angrily.

The man looks around fearfully, shaking his head and trying unsuccessfully to speak past the gag. Beth and Kaila are crying again. They're not the only ones worried about another group attacking us again.

Tiny and Thorin both run for me which has Gam and Evelyn running to me too. The prisoners eyes widen in shock at the kids. Then he tries harder to speak but the gag muffled him too much to understand.

Merle and Wyatt are arguing if they should kill the guy or not. Daryl moved past us to kneel in front of Beth and the girls. That way he can shield them while being close so they can feel safe.

The prisoner meets my gaze, his eyes pleading desperately. Michonne and Sasha are arguing about going after the other guy. The prisoner gets more distressed the more they argue.

He doesn't look like a threat. He doesn't even look half as rough as us. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Maybe it was coincidence that they followed us. Either way, unless he can talk we won't know.

I shift Gam into the carrier on my back. Evelyn I scoop up in my arms and hold her on my hip. Tiny and Thorin cling to each of my legs as they shuffle with me closer to our prisoner.

Merle catches my arm, alarmed that I would bring the kids so close. Michonne moves up beside me, her hand on her sword and watching the stranger cautiously. I kneel in front of him, meeting his brown eyes evenly.

"I'm going to remove the gag," I tell him steadily, watching as he calms himself down from panic. "We will ask you questions that I expect you to answer. Do you understand."

He's nodding before I finish speaking. His desperate eyes flit around, seeking for any compassion from our group that shows none. Not after what the last group of strangers did to us.

Tiny climbs up my back, pulling herself higher with Gam's carrier that makes him fuss. Thorin slips around behind Evelyn to peak at the stranger suspiciously. Evelyn turns her face into my shoulder, unhappy to see someone new.

Michonne leans forward to remove the gag. The man is still trembling and immediately begins stumbling over his words. Most of it is apologies but somewhere in all those rambling words is an explaination. 

He says he and his friend were out searching for people. They weren't stalking us, only curious. And he begs us to just let him go and they wont bother us again.

That starts another argument. Merle demands to know how many are in his group. Wyatt demands the location. The poor man is trembling like crazy and shaking his head that he doesn't want to answer.

Merle says we should make him talk. Somehow the poor guy pales further. Wyatt actually looks to be considering it.

"We are Not! torturing anyone!" I snap back angrily.

A scream sounds from outside. Sasha opens the door in time for Padfoot to tackle another guy inside. This one has curly brown hair and blue eyes. The first guy shouts the name, "Aaron!"

"Padfoot!" I snap as his jaws catch the guys throat. "Don't kill him!"

Padfoot snarls and the others are arguing again about whether we should kill them both or not. I pass Evelyn to Michonne who takes her startled. I scoop Tiny up, passing her to Wyatt and nudging Thorin over to Merle. They take the kids, frowning unhappily as I approach Padfoot and the man named Aaron.

I meet wide blue eyes. The man is smart, holding himself completely still. He still manages to glance concerned to his friend, looking panicked and desperate but not wholly for himself.

I kneel down until I can meet and hold padfoots gaze. I dont growl or snarl, that will just make him aggressive. Instead I look back calmly, patiently even as I wait for him to decide.

He growls, more frustrated that threatening. I smile, letting him see in my eyes that I'm proud of him. He releases the mans throat, licking his lips then leaning forward to lick my cheek and forehead.

The man is looking back nervously although he keeps glancing over at his friend. I address both men, "I will ask questions and either of you will calmly answer. You will tell the truth or Padfoot here will rip out your throat. Do you understand."

Both nod nervously, eyeing a snarling Padfoot fearfully. I ask first why they were stalking our group. The new guy Aaron says they have been going out for supplies and to find survivors. He says they noticed our group armed but they didn't know about the barn, animals, or children.

Wyatt asks where they're located and both clam up. Aaron says they can't say unless were joining with them because they can't risk their people. I point to the huddled women and children further back in the barn and point out that we're facing the same dilemma.

It's the nervous redhead that tells us about Alexandria, their safe zone. He tells us how there are houses and wooden walls up and he talks about the woman who runs the place. It sounds too good to be true honestly but I can taste the truth in them. So the question is, do we want to risk it?


	37. Alexandria

Chapter 37: Alexandria

None of us are quite sure what to make of the place yet. It's nice, sheltered too. These people have been here since the begining and they're weak because of it. Their fences went up and they haven't really seen walkers or other survivors before us.

Their clothes are clean, unstained. They have electricity and running water. Hell, this whole place looks like a glimpse of the world before the infection spread. Our group looks down right feral next to them which is making tensions worse.

They're houses are neat and tidy. Their lawns kept cut as if mowing the grass is still important. They even made us sit through interviews with their leader, Deanna.

She didn't seem bad but ignorant maybe. It feels too much like she and all the others still have the mindset of the world before the outbreak. It's making us wary of them. Because you can't survive the world today by holding to outdated ideals. 

They give us two houses together at the end of the road. That way we can fence in the two backyards for our animals. It will give us a little privacy from the people here. 

They stare too much and smile too much. No one is this friendly anymore. And they wrinkle their noses at us, whispering to each other about how dirty we are. It reminds me too much of Privet drive.

We all gather in the furthest house. Our RVs are parked in the driveways and our big truck is backed up between the houses. None of us are willing to seperate yet. We even double up for showers.

I fill the bathtub in the master bath. It's a deep wide thing so I use it for the kids. Evelyn and Gamba are nervous about the bath but Thorin and Tiny splash and coo at them until they're all laughing. I transfiguer some cotton balls into bath toys, mostly sea animals, for them to play with. That chases away the last of their reservations.

Carol comes in the room with Mika and Kaila. All three strip down and climb in the shower. Mika yelps when the water comes on which makes them all burst into giggles. 

A clean Beth comes through after a while to help me dry off and dress the kids. They cooperate well so we're done quickly. Then she leads them out into the bedroom as Carol and the girls step out.

I drain the bath, wiping it down to give them privacy to dress. I guess I should take it as a compliment that they don't tense up around me like they do the others. They trust us all, no doubt about that, but men make them nervous regardless. It simply can't be helped.

They're finished soon enough and head out of the room. Carol calls back a promise to get supper ready. Now alone, I strip down and slip into the shower. 

Daryl joins me after a moment. He smirks, his gaze moving over me. I laugh, pushing playfully at his shoulder. I'm finally getting the chance to get clean and I'm taking it.

"Want me ta wait," he asks uncertainly.

He suddenly looks unsure. I didn't mean that. I just want to get clean first. I offer a smile, "I wash your back, you wash mine?"

He smiles more genuinely now. The shampoo and body wash are apple scented but it's not a strong smell. I motion him under the water spray while I lather a washcloth.

His body is amazing but also filthy. I start on one arm, smoothing up the muscles to his shoulder. I love his arms, so very strong and powerful. Although the lather is tinted showing just how much dirt and dust has stained his skin.

I tease, "Youre going to be five shades lighter when I'm done."

He grins, accepting the teasing easily. I laugh, rubbing the washcloth over his chest until it leaves a trail of clean skin behind. He crowds me against the wall, pressing kisses to my cheek. 

I pass the washcloth to him. Then I take the shampoo and get started on his hair. He hums pleasantly, watching me a moment before he starts to run the washcloth up and down my chest. I scratch at his scalp, lathering his hair clean. Then I nudge him to rinse it out.

Once his hair is rinsed I put conditioner in his hair. He takes up the shampoo, scratching at my scalp. I moan, loving his hands in my hair. He chuckles, loving that he can get me to make such sounds.

I rinse my hair only for him to massage conditioner in next. I motion for him to turn around so I can wash his back. He has scars so similar to mine, paler than his skin even when dirty. I stroke up and down his back, massaging him clean. He moans deep and low, enjoying my touch.

Then he insists on making me turn to face the wall. His hands, slick with soap, run up and down my back. I shiver, enjoying the caress. It feels almost reverent.

We rinse off, sharing another kiss. I stroke his cheek, scruffy beard scratching my palm. He grins, promising to shave it down so it's less wild. 

We're both nervous about this new place. It's too different, too much like the old world that was so cruel to us. But we're together and strong. We'll keep each other safe while some of the group plays their games. Hopefully this really is the safe haven we've been searching for but if it's not, we've got each other's back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is busy so I'll be slow to update, maybe not until Monday. So sorry in advance for the wait and hope y'all enjoy the story😊💐💐💐💐


	38. An olive branch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the kudos and comments 😊💐💐💐💐💐😊 y'all are awesome

Chapter 38: an olive branch

Our first official day starts slow. The sunlight through the open windows bathes the room in a reddish golden glow. No one really wants to get up but we're not comfortable enough here to feel safe yet. So it only takes a few minutes of sleepy shuffling to get us moving around.

Our normal pile begins in the center with Thorin and Tiny laying side by side. Evelyn and Gamba lay head to head with them. Carl and Kaila sleep head to head beside Tiny and Evelyn while I sleep on the other side. Then the rest of our people curl up around us, most laying head to head. The men sleep on the outer edges of our pile.

Carol moves to the kitchen. She still looks around in disbelief that we're in a real house with running water and electricity. Honestly, were all still in shock. The only ones not overwhelmed are the kids. I guess because they adapt better to change.

Mika and Kaila join her in preparing breakfast. They make pancakes, mostly because we have a box of mix that only needs water added. The girls get to work mixing the batter and getting the plates while Carol cooks them up.

Everyone clusters together between the kitchen and dining room. There's still that fear in all of us that these people will turn on us. Perhaps we're paranoid but there's safety in numbers and we don't trust these people not to kill us and take what we have.

"We need to get fences up," Merle states. "Best we arrange a run for today or tomorrow."

"What if they try to take our animals?" Austin asks hesitantly.

"Let em try," Daryl snaps back threateningly.

"But shouldn't we share them?" Glenn asks aloud.

"Hell no!" Merle scoffs out, "We caught these animals and tended to em all. They ain't got a right to em."

"But they're letting us stay here in their home," Maggie counters, clearly supporting Glenns argument.

"It may be a good idea to gift them a few," Wyatt counters, "as an act of good faith and thanks for bringing us in. After all, we don't want them to cast us back out."

"They can only make us leave if we let them," Sirius points out coldly.

"We all need to make an effort to be accepted," Carol chides. "We're all here on a six week test run, remember? They'll send us back out if it doesn't work."

"I don't give a shit what they think of us," Daryl answers. "And they ain't kicking us out. We got kids an animals an we know how to stay safe. They need us."

She glares back at him, more unamused than anything. He smirks, winking at me. He'll keep annoying her because she plays so well a person these people can connect with.

Maggie suggests we give them the horses but Michonne argues that we'll need them for patrols. Glenn suggests half our chickens but it's Beth that argues against it. Carol suggest we offer a male and female of each animal so they can breed them up. No one is completely happy about that either.

Wyatt calls a vote. Even that sparks arguments from different people. Maggie and Glenn worry that if our offer is too little it will seem like a slap in the face. Others like Merle worry that giving too much will make us seem desperate.

Sasha suggests we give them animals that offer more than themselves. So if we give chickens, we give ones that lay a lot of eggs. But we don't give more than a third of our stock. 

Wyatt calls another vote to decide which animals, then another to decide how many. It takes well over an hour for a decision to be reached. Wyatt proposes that the rest of us work on blocking in the backyard while he and a few others take the animals over to Deanna. 

A goat and her two kids will help them have milk for cheese and butter. We give them six hens and a rooster to breed up and have eggs. We debated a while if we should gift them a horse or deer but we decided to give them three pigs instead.

I load Gamba in a carrier on my back. While he and Evelyn are walking around good now it's best if I carry them. Especially if we're working with the bigger animals. They tend to bolt the moment the doors are open.

Beth pick a up the other carrier, offering, "I can carry Evelyn today, if you want."

Evelyn doesn't seem to mind and it will leave my arms free to get more work done. She scoops Evelyn up, holding her against her chest and passing me the carrier. I help her get settled and snap the carrier in place. 

We all move outside together. A few people are out, watching us curiously but not approaching. It feels too much like Privet drive for my tasts. Too much like anything not their version of normal is unacceptable

I shudder, hating the memories and sensations that come. It always makes me feel unworthy and unclean, like I'm a stain on their perfect neighborhood. The brothers don't look too pleased either. Especially when a group of women watching us all wrinkle their noses at us, whispering together.

Merle climbs up in our RV, backing it up along the house to act as a border. Daryl drives the other one, backing it up along the others side of the other house. That way they border the backyard with the wall backing them. 

It leaves the area between the houses open for now. Michonne and a few others offer to look through the houses for something to block in the area. Probably because they don't want to deal with all the animal droppings in the truck.

I keep Thorin and Tiny back at the side of the truck. We can hear the animals huffing and stomping their feet, eager to be set free. Wyatt and Tyrese pull out the ramp for them to run down. Once it's in place, Maggie opens the door and jumps out of the way.

The horses, goats, and deer bolt out, racing into the backyard and trotting along the makeshift border. Sirius follows, ready to cast calming spells on them if it's needed. Somehow the rest of the group still doesn't know about our magic.

"Up an at em, farmer girl," Merle motions to Maggie.

She huffs, rolling her eyes but she climbs the ramp. Glenn follows her up. Between the two of them they get the rest of the goats and pigs to come down the ramp. 

Once those are down we need to clean the truck before getting the birds out. The bigger animals, especially the horses, make a lot of droppings. And we dont want the birds to get sick from wading through the waste.

Merle passes the shovels up to Glenn and Maggie. Both get to work, scraping and shoveling the droppings to the back end of the truck. Wyatt comes around with a wheelbarrow, although I've no clue where it came from. 

We usually just dump the waste off of the truck. We can't do that now because were going to live here. Now that we have the wheelbarrow, Tyrese and Austin work on shoveling the droppings into it.

I pull the kids around to the backyard. By now the animals should be calm enough that Thorin and Tiny won't be at risk. Tiny eagerly runs to a mother goat and her kid that's bleating at the back door of the left house. Thorin follows her, glancing back at me to be sure I'm following.

They both start petting the baby goat, giggling when it nibbles on their shorts. I turn away to hide a grin. Then animals seem to be milling around calmly, nibbling on the grass in little clusters.

Daryl stands at the back door of the right house. Beth leans against him, smiling and cooing at Evelyn who it seems is reaching for Daryl. He smiles back gently, his eyes warm, noticeable even from a distance.

I can't help but think they make a sweet picture. They way she leans against him, how he turns towards her. Both focusing on the baby in her arms. It's the image of a family. It's something I can't offer him.

Tiny squeals loudly. I glance back, noticing three more goats have wondered over and one is nipping at her braids. Her hair isn't long, the braids ending just shy of her shoulders. Michonne braided her hair last night after her bath, decorating them with red beads and string.

Sirius wonders over, asking quietly, "Something wrong, Pup?"

I shake my head, unwilling to voice my doubts. Because I knew going into it that he liked her more than me. He prefers female to male lovers even if he enjoys both. And she can give him a family when I can't. Honestly, I want him to be happy. So if it's her that he wants, I'll bow out quietly. 

The birds squawk and garble as they're lead into the yard. They were behind a rigged wall in the truck so the bigger animals didn't hurt them. The eggs laid are probably lost, mostly because there were so many stuffed together. But now we can build them a proper coop so they can lay again.

Maggie and Wyatt follow behind the animals. Merle and Sasha help them wrangle the animals further into the yard. Then they seperate out the ones that we're gifting to the people here.

Maggie and Glenn are the ones to join Wyatt to deliver the animals. Carol follows with Mika at her side. They're all dressed the part to play simple middle class pre-apocalypse. 

Merle snorts, "Y'all gonna have em lapping up that nonsense, aint ya?"

Carol smiles pleasantly, "We play to our strengths and if they don't look deeper than that then it's on them."

Merle let's loose a booming laugh. The kids jump, surprised at the loud sound but they too fall into laughter. I guess we've all been so quiet since this winter that they're not used to loud noises anymore.

"We need maps," I call after the group heading out. "And if they can tell us where stores and neighborhoods are that will help us when scavenging later."

Wyatt nods, accepting the suggestion. We watch them leave, each of us nervous. We break for lunch. Beth made potato soup for us all. 


	39. A late night run

Chapter 39: a late night run

No matter how I shift or lay I just can't get comfortable. My muscles keep jumping and tensing making It impossible to sleep. It doesn't help that Merle and Daryl still haven't come to bed. 

I know I'm worrying but I can't stop. I care about Daryl, I think I love him. I'm not sure I can lose him. But at the same time, I want him to be happy.

I can't ask anyone for advice. Most of the group still disapproves of our relationship. Sirius doesn't exactly have a level head when angry. And Merle, well, I'm sure he will side with Daryl.

Not that I don't want him to. I love that they're close, that they have each other to watch their back. With the world the way it is we all need someone we can count on. 

I just wish I didn't doubt us. I wish I could say confidently that we're in a commited relationship. But I'm not so sure. And that doubt has been eating away at me.

I've tried my best not to let it show. I don't want to cause unnecessary drama after all. And it's possible that I'm wrong. It's possible they were just being friendly.

It's just that Beth hovered next to him the entire time we were outside. And when she went in to cook she passed Evelyn to him. Then she kept going back to him to check on them and tell him how great he's doing.

Not that I disagree. I know he adores Evelyn, Thorin too. I know he would make an amazing dad. It just feels like she's rubbing it in his face. Or mine. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

But after lunch she followed him around, laughing and talking. She also insisted on carrying Evelyn around even when I told her she should let her down to walk. Not that I don't want people to look after the kids but they shouldn't be carried all day. They need to walk and crawl around and explore when it's safe to do so.

And when we settled down for dinner that Carol cooked. Beth took the seat on Daryls other side. She kept bringing up our time together before and reminding him of things that we should do again. Like drawing contests with sidewalk chalk or bicycle races. 

Daryl laughed and told her to make a list since everyone else was. She told him she would just join him on the run then. He answered that she's more than welcome to go whenever she wants.

It's not that they excluded me or anything. Because I did comment a time or two and Daryl even asked my opinion when Beth brought up wanting to start a garden. It's just that each time she spoke it seemed to be centered on him.

Maybe I'm seeing more into it than there is. Maybe I'm being paranoid. It's just, anytime something good happens, something bad follows. It's the Potter luck. Or perhaps its the Harry Potter luck.

I just can't help remembering how he would reach for her first, kiss her first. He can have a family with her. He can have a future with her. What can I offer that could compare?

Sirius huffs, nudging me for the tenth time to get me to be still. I sigh, offering another apology as I slip from the pile. It's not easy getting out without stepping on someone but I manage it well enough.

There's nothing inside to occupy me. Anything I could do would only disturb the others more. Perhaps a walk will clear my head.

I slip out to the front porch. It's quiet outside, except for a few of the deer and goats moving around the backyard. But all the houses along the street are dark. I guess everyone here settles down at night.

I let myself shift forms. It's like a release of tension, a full breath of air. My body transforming, fur rippling forward until I'm just another shadow in the night. 

My ears twitch, adjusting the the change in perception. My nose sniffs the air, catching the various trails of scents. Our pack is the easiest to distinguish. There aren't many foreign scents around which is good. But it also means these houses were ignored by the people here.

Voices prickly at the edge of my hearing. I recognize Merle's deep drawl in a chiding tone. Daryl snaps back, "... mind your business!"

I slip down the porch, edging around the truck between the houses until I am able to see both men on the porch of the other house. Daryl stands, leaning against the railing. Merle is sitting on a chair, mostly hidden from view. Both are smoking, weed would be my guess.

My ears twitch, catching Merle commenting, "I'm just saying, ya gotta do something cause the girl was all over you all damn day. That's all I'm saying."

Daryl huffs, turning away from his brother to face out to the street. He tries to change the subject, "What do ya think of this place?"

"I think your an idiot," Merle comments tiredly. "Youre gonna ruin a great thing cause ya don't wanna hurt feelings."

"I don't need ya to tell me, especially when you ain't kept a woman more than a month!" Daryl snaps back.

Merle sighs, standing and walking to the railing beside his brother. They share a look that I can't quite catch from this far away. Daryl looks away first.

"I ain't gonna change my mind, brother, I know what I want," Daryl argues stubbornly.

"Then you aughta tell him," Merle says calmly. "That ain't somethin you wanna keep quiet about."

My body trembles with tension. I want to hear more and at the same time I wish I hadn't heard anything. My chest feels tight and my stomach churns uncomfortably. I just need to get away from here.

I'm careful not to make noise as I slip back to the other end of the yard. Then I start running, once I'm sure they wont hear me. The grass is soft and muffles any noise that my paws would make.

There's a wooden structure near the wall, little more than a flat standing ledge with a ladder leading up. I leap up, my claws catching some of the steps and I scramble upward. My claws scrap, cutting into the wood as I pull myself up.

Then I leap over the wall. My paws hit the grass, a few running steps ease the momentum of my jump. There's nothing out here so I take off running. My claws click loudly on the road as I put as much distance between me and the wall as I can.

I don't have a destination. I barely have a direction. Mostly I just want to get away. I want to run until I can't run any more. With nothing but the moon and stars to light my path, I race the wind, headless of what may come.


	40. A furry day

Chapter 40: a furry day

I run until the sun rises. The road beneath me is old and cracked, the lines long ago faded. It's doesn't look like it was well maintained even before the world ended.

I know I've run miles but I've no idea how far I've gone. My tongue hangs out as gasping breaths huff out, grateful that the coolness of night still lingers. My paws ache from the hard pavement making each step send twinges of discomfort. 

Forests grow thick on either side. The tree canopies stretch out, nearly completely shielding the small two lane. Nothing exists here except an abandoned truck, an old rusted red thing. No doubt it ran out of gas long ago.

I circle the truck, sniffing out scents. There are a few but they're older, a few days at least. None of them are familiar so the people of Alexandria haven't gotten this far.

Not that I think they've gone far anyways. They're far too sheltered, too scandalized by how dirty and wild we are. They've kept themselves behind their high walls but it's left them unprepared for the world outside.

Aaron and Eric said they've gone on a few runs. Even that hasn't been going on long. And our group is the first they've stumbled across since they started looking. Which is lucky for them.

I could do without the haughty looks though. Far too much like the Dursleys for my tastes. But the more things change the more they stay the same.

Hell, even our group is guilty of it. The biggest reason they all turned on the brothers is because they judged them to be no good redneck biker trash. It's why Hershel hated them so much for 'taking advantage' of Beth.

Not that they did! They didn't take advantage of either of us! But it was easy for them to believe simply because it was easier to judge appearances than to get to know them. Even if they had time to get to know them, they just didn't want to. 

It's why I can't accept most of them as pack, no matter how hard I try. I hate the way they see Merle and Daryl, how they judge them at a glance and never bother to look deeper. It makes my hackles raise defensively even if I know there's nothing I can do to change human nature. 

That's also why they accepted Wyatts leadership so quickly. And wasn't that a slap in the face! After everything we've done for them, they turn so quickly to follow someone else. It shows a lack of loyalty that is just shameful.

I get it that Wyatt looks presentable. I get it that he and Austin are careful to keep their passions away from the group and their affectionate gestures are all tame when others are around. It's why Hershel was able to accept them so quickly, considering his prejudices.

It just bothered me how quickly they turned to follow Wyatt. I suppose it helped that Merle didn't argue. It's like they expect the world to think the worst of them and so they don't argue when people turn on them.

But they're both such good men. They are constantly doing their best to look after everyone in the group even if no one acknowledges or thanks them for their efforts. It's aggravating in the extreme. 

I've tried to stay peaceful, really I have. I've tried to show everyone how much the brothers do and how good they are. I've tried to point out all the things we wouldn't have if not for them. Hell, Merle nearly died when our prison was attacked and they still don't acknowledge how much the brothers have done for us.

It makes me feel tired and angry. Daryl tells me that it's okay. He would kiss me and touch me until my anger is chased away. He said that having my support is enough for them. I just wish I could give them more.

I check along the treelines, following the scent trail only a few feet in. There are six scents, similar enough to be a pack. They must've run out of gas and had no choice but to walk. At least it seems that they didn't double back.

Only then do I bed down, crawling tiredly into the back bed the truck. It's uncomfortable, the metal too hard but it's safer than sleeping on the ground. I shift around, frowning at how small the bed feels as I try to tuck myself into it.

I waste away the morning in a light doze. It helps that all scents are muted. And there's nothing around here except a truck and a bloodstained road. 

A sniffling sound makes my ears twitch. I lift my head, leaning over the side of the truck to look down the street. A black dog perks up, it's tail wagging as it gives a deep woof and runs towards me.

I should've know Sirius would find me. That was always going to happen. So I sit up, watching as he leaps into the truck bed to sniff and lick at my muzzle. There's barely room for us both up here.

It's odd, him appearing small like a normal dog when he's huge to me as a human. But I guess my form must be enormous to dwarf him as I do. It's a powerful feeling, knowing I'm such a large animal. 

I nuzzle him back, licking his muzzle affectionately. I wasn't running from him. I just needed to get away for a while. 

If Daryl is going to leave me... well, I'd rather put it off if I can. I'm not ready. Not after letting myself fall in love with him. Not after binding my scent with his to the point my other form knows him as my mate.

So many nights I've only fallen asleep because he would curl around me. His arms around me, his breath on my neck, it felt so perfect. Just like his smile, the way his eyes shine with humor or how his mouth quirks up at the corner.

Padfoot nips playfully at my ear. I huff amused as he pounces playfully, his tail wagging behind him. I guess it won't hurt to play a while.

I huff, nipping lightly at his shoulder. He jumps down from the truck, his tail and rump wagging playfully. I leap after him, easily bounding over him. He yipps, leaping forward to nip my jaw before racing off.

I give chase, easily catching up to him. With a deep rumbling huff I nip his ear. Then I bolt to the left, veering further into the woods. Padfoot chases me, giving nips at my heels. 

The ground dips and churns beneath our paws. The trees grow wide and tall, the undergrowth thick enough to slow us down. But we're both big animals so it's easy to push through.

Rabbits bolt to our right. I chase Padfoot off to the left. The scent of deer is still twinning around the trees. Thankfully there isn't the scent of walkers around here.

Padfoot leaps at me. I let myself fall to the side, rolling in the waist tall grass with him. His paws hit heavily at my chest, playing.

I nip at his shoulder, careful not to hurt him. We tussle and play, pawing and rolling in the grass. Then we bounce away and chase.

The day passes in wolfish laughter and innocent play. We both tire out in the tall grass, shielded from the setting sun by the large tree canopy. Night falls around us as we lay curled around each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the most part, Harry has suppressed any anger or issues he's had with the group to keep the peace. He's still worried that Sirius might kill the ones he doesn't like so even though Harry doesn't get along with them he tries to play the meek peacekeeper. But he's not happy with the group or how they treat him or the Dixons. And Harry has never had much confidence in himself so he thinks Daryl will leave him because Beth has more to offer. This is mostly his attempt to escape the stress he's under, at least for a little while.


	41. People suck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: violence, lots of death, skip if you don't want to read

Chapter 41: people suck

Noises of distress reach my ears. It's enough to wake me up. I blink around at the darkness around us. The trees are just too thick to let in the small amount of starlight that should be coming through.

I flick my ears, listening intently to sounds in the distance. There's the rumbling of machines, barking voices and frightened cries. Some of the cries are young... children.

I stand up, shaking myself awake. Padfoot woofs in question. He must not be able to hear them. Perhaps they're too far away.

I pad away a few steps, giving him time to shake himself awake. He yawns widely, moving up to my side and nodding that he's ready when I am. We take off, racing through the forest towards the sounds.

We run for a few minutes. The sounds grow louder. The taunting voices are more understandable now.

Someone is boasting loudly about trespassers on their land. A few are muttering about how attractive the women are. A woman pleads, her voice trembling. Children, two children, crying softly, trying to muffle their sounds.

The smell of exhaust fills the air. Then theres a sound, a thick meaty thunk. The pleading woman howls in painful horror. The sound comes again with a crackling crunch and a squelch.

I run faster. The forest gives way to a sparse clearing full of deep tire treads and displaced weeds. Several vehicles came tearing through this clearing recently.

Padfoot sniffs at the tire treads, slowing down. He can probably smell the scent of gunpowder just like I can. But I don't slow. 

I follow the circling grooves in the dirt around to a long red brick building with a wider parking lot. Headlights illuminate figures backed against the building wall. At least a dozen vehicles, triple that the number of people, and most are armed.

Near the wall are two women sobbing while clutching two small children between them. Beside them is the body of a man, his head completely destroyed. And standing proudly before them, taunting them, is a man in a leather jacket with a wire wrapped bloody bat.

I move carefully, cautious not to make a sound. My paws move silently as I keep my body low to avoid detection. Thank Merlin my fur is black because it allows me to move from shadow to shadow undetected. 

Padfoot flanks me. His teeth nip warningly at my flank and I know what he's saying. He thinks this is too dangerous. He thinks we'll be killed if we get involved. He thinks it isn't worth the risk.

But the man with the bat is taunting the children. He's pushing the bloody bat at them, making them cry harder. The women are trying to shield them but it's just amusing these men.

I sniff the air, catching the scents of lust and fear the strongest. There's the warm copper spice of blood with a meatier edge to it that must come from the body. There's the harsh peppery smell of gunpowder detectable over the chocking smog of exhaust.

My ears flick, picking up the sobbing of the children as well as the pleased mutterings of the men surrounding them. These men are just like the berserkers that attacked us. They just go around attacking and destroying everyone in their path.

As if we don't have to worry enough about the dead devouring us or illness or hunger weakening us. Now we have to deal with insane power hungry people with delusions of grandeur. People who survive by destroying others.

This whole mess reminds me horribly of Voldemorte standing before his death eaters. I can almost feel the roughness of the gravestone, the tight burn of the rope, the sting of the blade. I can see his smirk mirrored in this worthless human. The same pageantry, playing to the crowd. The same lack of morals. 

I'm moving without thought. A snarl bursting out of my chest just seconds before my teeth sink into the arm raising that damn bat up. I roll, dragging the man with me and digging my teeth and claws into the flesh beneath.

The leather of his jacket gives way. There's a burst of warm liquid filling my mouth. The snap of a bone and the scream of a man in horrified pain.

I claw and dig, easily shredding the jacket to rip at the flesh beneath. But gunshots sound and stinging bites hit my side. I release my prey to leap at the one nearest me.

Jaw wide, I snap it closed around a head, biting and twisting. Then I release and jump on the next. Then the next.

I rip out the soft throat of a man who's screaming. I bite the shoulder of another, wedging my teeth between bone to tear away the arm in a shower of blood. The man falls screaming in horror.

More stinging bites hit my side. I snarl, leaping at another man with a large gun. I bite his arm, enjoying the loud snap of bone. I grip his throat and shake him violently until his screaming stops. Then I leap at the next one.

I'm aware of another black blur joining me in this carnage. I'm aware enough to know that Padfoot is taking out just as many as I am. And I'm aware that the leader of this group is shouting retreat while being dragged into a truck.

I run at it, slamming into the side and snapping at the window. I hear them shrieking within and it gives me a perverse joy. I claw down the door as it drives away, running over one of their own in their desperate bid to escape.

More vehicles are squealing away. More, but not all, not even half. There's more bodies on the ground then there are men that escaped. But not all of the bodies are laying still.

There's a man with an obviously broken leg crawling along the ground. I move over him, a snarl rumbling deep within my chest. He reeks of fear, of terror. I press my right paw against his head and push. There's a loud crunch, a sudden burst of pressure, and a spray of red mush.

I glance around the parking lot. Padfoot has a man by the throat, digging out his insides. Another man with a broken arm is trying to raise a gun. I lunge for him, biting his head clean off.

The last two alive are crushed beneath my paw. It's a quick death. And I can't help the rush of prideful pleasure I get looking out at the destruction we caused.

If only I could've done this to Voldemorte and his death eaters that night. Then Cedric would've been the only casualty. I could've stopped it all before it even started.

But no, I was weak. I barely escaped that night and for what? Now I'm lost in this Hell while he's still there, still killing. 

Are my friends still alive? Hermione is intelligent and resourceful but she's a muggleborn and my friend. He'll hunt her for sure.

What about the Weasleys? Are any of them alive? Charlie perhaps since he lives in Romania and Bill since he lives in Egypt. But what about the twins? What about Ron and Ginny?

What about Neville? What about Luna? What about Colin? What's happened to them?

A mournful howl rips it's way from my chest. So at odds with the puffed up pride I felt only moments before. Now all I feel is sorrow so deep that I can't breathe.

I howl again and again, baring my pain to the world. I feel Padfoot lapping at my muzzle, offering what comfort he can. But it doesn't mean anything. Because I'll never see my friends again. I'll never get back to our world again. And it hurts so much!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan isn't dead, just injured. And he's going to be hunting for the giant wolf that broke his arm and killed his men. Interesting times ahead😊 enjoy


	42. Good doggy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who skipped the last chapter:  
Harry and Sirius found Negan attacking some people. They saved a woman and two kids, killing several of Negans men.

Chapter 42: good doggy

My ears twitch at the sound of walkers in the distance. I hear them approaching but I just don't care. Padfoot is whinning, tugging at my ears to get me up. I'm too tired to get up.

Small footsteps approach. I glance over, watching the two children come closer. A boy and a girl. Both are too thin with long knobby limbs and awkward movements.

The girl is older, maybe seven or eight. The boy is perhaps five or six. Both are so very tiny.

I sniff at them curiously. Padfoot keeps licking and nuzzling my muzzle, encouraging me to move. I'm not sure I want to move, not really. But these kids aren't safe here. We have to get them away before the herd arrives.

The women are still by the wall only one is laying down. My ears flick forward, unable to detect a second heartbeat. One of the women is dead. 

I stand on shaky legs, sniffing closer to the women. The one laying still has several spots of on her shirt. Perhaps that explains the massive warm puddle beneath her.

The girl sniffles, more tears trailing down her cheeks as she looks from the man with the destroyed head to the woman laying still in the puddle. They must've been the kids parents. The other woman blinks over surprised at our closeness. 

She reels back in fear, scrambling away. Then her eyes flit to the children and indecision wars within her. She shifts her body, preparing to lunge. No doubt she's planning to sacrifice herself to give the children time to escape. 

I huff annoyed. I shouldn't be, she doesn't know me. All she's seen is us tearing through these people like it's nothing. So it's no surprise that she's afraid.

The boy pats my arm, looking up at me with wide pale eyes. I find myself feeling proud of him for being so brave. Although I've no idea why he whispers Aslan. Perhaps it means something to him?

My ears flick, hearing the noise of the herd approaching. We need to get out of here and now. So I nudge the kids over to the nearest truck. It's too tall for them to climb into so I lay next to it and let them use me to climb up.

The woman scrambles up in the driver's seat. Her own eyes are too wide, her face too pale. But she is quick to get the truck moving.

Padfoot leaps up into the back bed. I follow, feeling the truck rock under our weight. The woman looks back startled but just keeps driving.

I frown, regretting leaving all the weapons behind. Maybe we can go back for them later. Padfoot licks my ear, nipping playfully. At least he's not mad at me.

We spend the drive nuzzling and grooming each other. We clean away the blood and dirt and random bits that's caught in our teeth and fur. Both of us were shot a few times but overall we're going to be okay.

The truck rumbles to a stop along a side street. The sun is up, the sky still pink but bright enough to see our way. There's a few stores, a long strip of buildings, and a corner gas station.

The woman turns off the engine, looking around fearfully. My ears flick, detecting walkers further along the street and in the restaurant two buildings down. But the small drug store next to us is clear.

I hop out, huffing at the woman and nodding to the store. The boy squeals excitedly, nearly climbing over her in his attempt to follow. She tries to catch him but he's a quick one.

I sniff at him, licking his knee where it scraped the road. He pats my head, calling me a good doggy this time. Padfoot huffs a laugh and I know I'll never live this one down. But I grin back, not minding in the least.

The girl follows her brother, petting my shoulder. The woman has no choice but to follow now. Because for all that she's hissing at the kids to get back and be careful, they don't seem to listen. 

I enter the drug store first, just to be safe. It's a mess of overturned shelves and random items. It's also been heavily picked over. Beyond the cosmetics, I doubt there's much here worth taking.

But we're not here to scavenge supplies. I just need a solid safe place for us to shelter for a while. So I sniff around, ignoring the dead walker by the register. It's the only one inside although there's plenty of bloodstains around.

I circle back to the front of the store. The woman is attempting to move one of the shelves forward to block the door. It's not moving so it must be heavy.

I press my shoulder into it, helping push it forward. It scrapes loudly, a dangerous echoing sound that makes the woman stumble. But we need to block the door so I keep pushing until it's in place. 

Padfoot is with the kids down an aisle with toys. I huff, amused that he's playing fetch with the boy while the girl struggles to free a doll from its box. The woman sits down, taking the box from the girl with an almost resigned air.

I pad around again. I don't like how loud my claws click on the floor. I also don't like how cold it is. It's just not comfortable to walk on. 

The food aisles are empty but there's a backpack near the photo corner, next to a large moldy bloodstain, that feels like it has cans inside. Regardless of what it is, those kids needs food. The woman does too, she's just as thin and starved as the kids. I bite the strap, carrying it back to the others.

The boy runs to meet me. He reaches out, fisting a hand in the fur at my neck. It's not exactly a smart thing to do but I know he doesn't mean any harm. He just wants to hold onto me. 

The woman takes the bag, blinking startled at the weight. She opens it, gasping at whatever is inside. Then she starts pulling things out. 

It's a good find. There's two jars of peanut butter, several cans and packets of tuna, and a few sleeves of crackers. There's even fruit cups and bags of gummy candies that the kids exclaim over.

Sniff around again. This time I find a pile of clothes, all knocked over against the shelf. Digging through them gets me two small bundled blankets. I drag those back to the others.

The girl helps me unroll the blankets. We spread them out and while they feel better than the floor it's not much. So I go back for the clothes. They're all soft dresses and flowery shirts. I paw them into a pile and bite them, carrying as many as I can. 

The girl pulls the few hangers from the pile as I paw and nudge it all into a proper nest. Padfoot comes over, helping me move it all around until it's more comfortable. Then we lay down, curling against each other.

The boy crawls over Padfoot to wiggle his way between us. The girl crawls between my front paws to snuggle against my neck so I lay my chin down on her back. The woman huffs, still eyeing us concerned but unwilling to argue. She lays down on the edge of the blanket, still a little away from us. With a wide yawn I let myself drift off to sleep.


	43. Patching wounds

Chapter 43: patching wounds

I wake first. Mostly because the girl curled under my chin is wimpering. So I lick her arm and leg as that's easiest to reach. Long soothing strokes and gentle nudges quite her cries. 

I'm not surprised she's having nightmares. She saw her mother and father murdered right in front of her. And that's not counting the massacre we committed. Yeah, she's got every reason to have nightmares. 

I yawn wide, my teeth snapping at air as I blink around. We wasted most of the day in here sleeping. But we all needed it. Or, most of us. The woman is awake, leaning back against the shelf with a bottle of peroxide and some rolls of bangages.

She eyes me nervously, licking her lips and speaking softly, "Okay, Big guy, I'm just gonna help a little, okay? No biting my head off, okay?"

I shift my weight, wincing at the sting of the gunshots. Looking back I notice several spots in my fur that's matted with blood. It's probably helped stop up the wound to give me time to heal it. But it does hurt, a stabbing burn.

I huff at the woman, laying my chin back on the girls back. If she wants to patch me up I'll let her. My magic should heal it but bandages would help.

The boy is awake, twining his fingers in my fur. He sits up when the woman shifts closer, calling loudly, "I wanna help!"

The woman shushes him. He frowns but repeats his request in a hissed whisper. The woman agrees, telling him to move closer to my back leg. Then she pours peroxide on a washcloth, passing it to the boy before grabbing another for herself.

It burns, mostly because he's rough with it. The woman winces in sympathy, correcting the boy who eagerly complies. I grit my teeth, far to accustomed to pain to be bothered by it now. This is nothing on the cruciatus or even the pain of regrowing a limb.

They work quickly, cleaning the blood from my fur. The rags are soon replaced with a blouse also doused in peroxide. The boy scrubs harder than necessary but I manage not to growl at him.

Three more shirts later, the woman slatheres antibiotic ointment over each gunshot. It's not a feeling I want to repeat. Then she puts bandages, a small bundle of cotton squares, over the wounds. Last is the wraps. She uses far too many and I feel a bit like a reject from the mummy but at least that's all my wounds tended to. Now if only my healing could speed up a bit, that'd be nice.

Padfoot woke up only a few minutes after they started on me. He eyed us humorously for a while. But now that she's looking him over he looks far less amused.

The woman tries cooing and coaxing but Padfoot just growls warningly. She's wise enough to back off. Instead she scoops up the pile of bloody clothes and throws them down two aisles over. I guess it's the best solution in our current situation.

I huff at Padfoot, calling him closer. The girl is awake now, rubbing her eyes and asking for food. The woman hushes her. Although she does pass her a cup of fruit and give one over to the boy.

With the three of them occupied I nuzzle Padfoot under my chin and groom through his fur. He huffs amused but doesn't fight. The even helps point out the wounds.

I find four gunshot wounds on him. One on his back hip, another on his left leg. The other two are on his side, high up and most likely caught on a rib. 

I try to remember the feeling I had when I healed Merle. I'm not as desperate right now but I also know I can do it. Sometimes confidence is key.

I lap at the wound on his leg. I feel my magic warming my mouth, making my tongue tingle. I feel it stretch to him, pulling between us like melted candy on sticky fingers.

It's an odd feeling. I wonder for a moment if it's as uncomfortable for him as it is for me. But I can feel it working, his wounds healing.

I listen to the others talking while I work on healing him. The kids call the woman Aunt Darla. She calls the girl Hannah and the boy Andrew. Somehow those names fit. And while I know their hair and eyes are pale I cant tell the exact color.

They seem friendly but not really close. My guess is the parents were the main ones to interact with the kids. Darla either lived far away or didn't visit them much. But there are enough features between them that's similar so I'm sure they're related.

I'm not sure how long we'll stay with them. At least a few days so we can heal. We could take them back to Alexandria. Surely they would like it there. It would be far safer than out here.

They could play with our kids. Mika especially would appreciate someone her own age. And the boy is only barely older than Thorin and Tiny.

But how do I bring it up? If I shift, they'll say something to the others. Either that or they'll run screaming. 

I could leave and 'find' them again as a human. But how would I get them to trust me? Humans are the bigger danger. Especially men.

Maybe Padfoot could leave and change back. Then he can claim I'm his dog or something. But for all that he's charming I'm not sure they would accept him either.

Maybe one of us can go back and get a group to come. A woman like Michonne or Maggie would help. They could come back here but there's no guarantee Darla wouldn't leave with the kids.


	44. Meeting jesus

Chapter 44: meeting jesus

There are other scents outside. That's rarely a good thing in this world. So I slip out the back, through the busted pharmacy window. Then I loop around the building.

Footsteps pound the ground, someone running. Several someones... three people. I sniff but they must be downwind. So I peak around the building, my ears twitching to track the movement.

A figure darts around a building, five down and across the street. He has long dark hair hidden beneath a beanie cap, a dark beard, and a long pale coat that flaps around his legs. He runs fast too, light on his feet and not out of breath. 

I can't smell any gun oil or gunpowder on the wind so he doesn't carry such a weapon. But by his quick glances it seems he's aiming for the drugstore. The one where Darla and the kids are hiding.

He might be innocent. Hell, it sounds like he's running from someone. But he might also be a threat. Either way, I can't let them near the store.

I let him get closer, mostly because I'm hoping he'll turn a different way. But he's already focused and I know he won't turn. Maybe I can scare him away.

I take a running leap into his path. My mouth open in a vicious snarl, teeth snapping at air, hackles raised threateningly. Even curled to pounce as I am I'm able to look the man in the eye.

He panicked, pinwheeling his arms and landing hard on his back. I snap at the air, taking a threatening step forward. Wide pale eyes look back, frozen in shock. But he doesn't run. If anything, he goes limp, submissive.

I huff, confused more than anything. I try snapping again while taking another threatening step. If anything, he relaxes more.

I pad closer, sniffing at him. He's afraid, that's clear in his scent. But he's just laying there like he's taking a nap. I huff annoyed and paw at his leg.

I try nipping at his leg. I even snap just shy of his groin. He tilts his head back and to the side, baring his throat.

I crawl over him, sniffing at his belly, up his chest and to his throat. He stays passive the whole time. I huff confused, pawing at his chest but he stays limp. I try nudging his side but he still doesn't move. His scent is even calming.

A shout startles me to look up. Two men stand a building away with guns raised. Two men that are vaguely familiar. They were there with that Voldemorte wannabe!

I leap, snarling deep and furious. Both men turn to run but I easily overtake them. They only manage a few steps before I rip the head off one. The other I crush beneath my paw.

I howl out a warning. This is my land! My territory now! And YOU are the tresspasser!

I glare warningly back at the man but he's still laying calmly down. So I sniff around, catching scents and cataloging them to figure out if there's more threats. All I can detect is these two have been alone for the last several hours. 

I pad back to the man who is still laying calmly with his head turned. I paw at him again but he's carefully not responding. I huff out a sigh, sitting beside him.

Well, now what do I do? Is the guy in shock? Did his brain just shit down? Is he too damaged to react?

I sniff at him again, nudging his head to turn his face back to me. His eyes slide past me to settle in the distance. It's like he doesn't know I'm even here! But his scent is calm. Why is it calm?

Could he be in shock? I've never seen someone in shock before. Maybe this is shock. 

I scratch at my ear, shaking my head to chase away the confusion. Something isn't adding up here. I sniff him again, curious if anything has changed. There's the faintest trace of amusement and curiosity in his scent now.

Is he faking? I slap a paw on his chest with enough force to make him grunt. He still doesn't look at me. Is he ignoring me so I'll go away?

Well that's rude! I move down by his leg, biting the calf but careful not to bite down. I don't actually want to hurt the guy. But either he's in shock or he's really clever and resourceful. Either way, I don't want him to get eaten by the walkers coming along the far end of the road.

I drag him along the road. I half expect him to complain or struggle but he stays limp. I think shock is more likely. Poor guy must've been terrified if I sent him into shock.

I stop just shy of the broken window. I don't want to drag him through the glass but it's the only way inside. All the others are blocked.

I sniff him over. Thankfully my dragging him doesn't seem to have hurt him. I try licking his cheek, maybe that will wake him up. But he still stays limp and passive.

My ears flick, catching the sound of approaching walkers. I need to get him inside soon. I nudge him, whinning apologetically. 

His hand hesitantly touches the fur near my paw. I lick at his face, nudging him to encourage him. Good, good, he's coming out of it. Now I just need him to start moving.

My first attempt to nudge his side only gets him to roll over on his belly. I sniff him again to be sure he's not hurt. He may be bruised but nothing bad that I can find. 

I nuzzle his neck, licking and whinning to encourage him to move. And slowly, he does. He shifts his arms, turns his head. I yip, well, more like a deep woofing yip but it counts. 

He takes it as encouragement, moving up to his knees and then up to his feet. I push him over to the window, aware that the walkers are getting closer. But I need to get him inside.

Hannah pops up at the window, asking loudly, "What's wrong?"

The man stumbles, surprised to see her no doubt. But she was loud enough and the walkers close enough that I have to take care of them. So I rush off, knocking the walkers down and slamming my paws down on their heads. They're older so they crush easier.

I hurry back to see them both gone from the window but their scents lead inside. I scramble in, hurrying over to where they're clustered. The man introduces himself as Jesus. He sounds alright now, friendly even. 

I still give a warning growl and push the kids further back from him. It's not that I think he's a threat. It's just that I don't know for sure that he isn't. So he's going to keep a bit of distance from the kids until I'm sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry wouldn't know the rule about bears so I thought this would be funny. You know, if a bear is coming at you don't run because they'll chase, instead play dead and they'll paw at you a minute but ultimately leave you alone. This is totally something Jesus would know to do and it would have Harry completely confused.


	45. Swapping stories

Chapter 45: swapping stories

"So... those are your dogs?" The man calling himself Jesus asks somewhat incredulously.

Darla snorts amused, "Not at all! I'm not sure what kind they are but they found us last night and they're good with the kids."

He blinks surprised, "Maybe they had a family before all this."

She shrugs disinterestedly. Instead of answering him, she pulls out a can of tuna and a sleeve of crackers. The kids crawl over me to eagerly join her. The man shifts closer but both Padfoot and I huff in his direction to warn him back.

He grins amused, "You know, I know a guy with a pet Tiger."

The kids look up eagerly at that. He chuckles, happily telling them about his friend Ezekiel. He says the man rules a community called the Kingdom. He says his friend is a calm and just man with a thriving peaceful community.

That easily catches Darla's attention. She asks cautiously, "How far is this community from here?"

He shrugs, "A day, maybe a little less. I can take you all there if you want."

She looks to be considering it. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I want them to be safe, don't get me wrong. I want them safe and a community is their best option. But I don't know enough to know how safe it would be.

Padfoot nips my ear. I hadn't even realized I was rumbling threateningly. At least the kids don't look concerned but both Darla and Jesus tensed up. I huff, delibertly turning my back on them. 

I'm not mad. It's just I was thinking of taking them home with us. And it feels a little insulting that she would take the kids and follow this guy she only just met. Shouldn't she be following me and Padfoot instead?

But then again, to her we're just animals. She doesn't know we're shifters. And she has to do what she must to keep those kids safe, I get it. It's just that I wanted them to come back to Alexandria with us.

Jesus tells her more about his friend Ezekiel. He says they live a bit theatrical. He says his friend fancies himself a king, albeit a benevolent one. 

I snort at that. What kind of idiot would go around telling people he's a king? Either he's crazy delusional or he's playing people. Which is just stupid in the extreme.

The world is crazy enough as it is! The dead are going around eating people. Some of the living are more monsterouse than the dead. And now this guy with a pet tiger fancies himself a king.

At least Darla looks skeptical now. Jesus smiles, looking amused between me and her. The kids still look excited about the tiger to care about how crazy the owner is.

"I stay at another community," he tells them matter of factly. "It's called Hilltop. It's not as secure as the Kingdom is but it's something."

He tells her briefly about the big house, a former museum of sorts, with a collection of fema trailers that they stay at. He tells her that their leader's name is Gregory and that they have a doctor among their people. He mentions the tall wall and that he goes out every day to hunt for supplies.

It feels like he's holding something back though. Darla must sense it too because she asks, "What's the catch?"

He answers sadly, "Unfortunately it's a problem we all share. The Saviors, a group run by a man named Negan. They take half of everything we have."

She flinches back violently at the name, something he catches. In a breathless voice she tells him, "Those are the ones that attacked us. They killed my sister and her husband."

He nods sympathetically, "They're a large group and they seem to be everywhere. They killed one of our guys, a kid really."

My whole body trembles in fury. That bastard! He murdered a kid. And no one has killed him yet? 

I should 've torn him to pieces! I should 've ripped his arm from his body! I should've eaten his heart!

Padfoot whines, licking my jaw. I shake, trying to push away the righteous fury. That horrible horrible creature! When I see him next I'm gonna tear him to pieces! He's gonna die screaming!

Small hands tug at my ears. I huff, glancing at Andrew as he pets my cheek. I shift my weight, trying to force myself to calm. I don't want to scare the kids after all. And that man isn't here so it's not like I can kill him yet. But I will!

One thing is for sure, they're not going to either the Kingdom or Hilltop. No way am I sending them back into the path of the man that already attacked them once before. I'm taking them back to Alexandria with me whether Darla agrees or not.

I eye her suspiciously where she sits tense against the shelf. Hannah comes over to scratch behind my ears, cooing softly as if I'm a puppy. Kids! I swear, they just don't know to be afraid. Not that I would hurt them because I won't. But I'll need to talk to them about petting possibly dangerous animals.


	46. Heading home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos, y'all are awesome💐💐💐💐💐💐

Chapter 46: heading home

It's still early afternoon and I feel antsy to start heading home. The longer we stay out here the bigger the risk is that we'll run into those assholes again. As much as I want to kill them, I want to get the kids and Darla somewhere safe first.

I huff at Padfoot to gain his attention. He grins back wolfishly, his tongue hanging out over his teeth. I rumble at him, trying to tell him I want to head out. He sneezes, lumbering up to nudge the kids closer to me.

They're happy enough to climb up onto my back. I stand carefully, moving slowly so they don't slip off. They both shout excitedly.

Darla scrambles to her feet, watching us cautiously. Jesus moves slower, concerned but not really alarmed. I turn towards the front of the store, the kids giggling and whooping in delight.

The shelf is still blocking the broken front doors. It was a hassle to move into place but thankfully it's easy to knock it back. Then we just have to climb over it to get outside.

I move carefully over the broken glass. Thankfully it doesn't cut up my paws. Although I did have to duck down low when slipping out so the kids wouldn't hit the top of the door frame.

Darla scrambles out after us, looking around fearfully as she runs towards the truck still parked on the street. Jesus follows, still moving slower but looking around alert. Padfoot leaps up into the back bed of the truck.

I worry a bit that he's still hurting. He must be if he's insisting on riding instead of running with me. I'll get Merle to check him when we get back home. Hopefully he's not too badly hurt.

I start at a slow pace, mindful of the two kids still clinging excitedly to my back. I should probably do this for Thorin and Tiny sometime. They'll probably love riding on my back like this.

The truck pulls along beside me with Darla driving. Jesus leans against the open passenger window, smiling amused at us. So I pick up speed slowly, moving faster little by little. The kids give whoops of delight, laughing excitedly as we move.

I can't cast a point me spell like this but I don't really need to. I ran mostly north from Alexandria when I took off the other night. Then Padfoot and I ran mostly southeastern as we played. With Darla and the kids we went further south. So to get home we need to move a bit westward for a while, maybe a little northwest but mostly west.

Nothing looks familiar but I'm not worried. We'll find our way and if it takes too long I can always slip away to shift back and cast a quick point me spell. Thank goodness our shrunken supplies on the RV is still in Alexandria because it gives us a point to aim for if we get lost.

This road is still shiny black. It must've been paved just before the world went crazy. It's still uncomfortable on my paws but it's manageable. There's also more stuff around, abandoned vehicles and a few houses.

The further we walk the more buildings pop up. Gas stations with broken signs and buildings with broken windows and doors sit along either side like broken toys in Dudleys second bedroom. It's a sad looking place, obviously pillaged and ransacked repeatedly.

Wifts of scents more recent reach me on the wind. My nose twitches, easily recognizing the scents of pack. They came here recently, earlier today or perhaps only an hour ago. Which is good because I can follow their scents back home.

I slow my pace, sniffing around the road to better track the scents. I can easily detect Merle and Daryl. Their scents crisscross with Wyatt, Glenn, And Tyreese. There's also a faint trace of Maggie and Nessa. They must've come here for supplies.

"Harry!" A deep voice snaps out angrily, "Where in the Hell have you been?"

I glance up, catching sight of Daryl stomping out of a small grocery store further down. His crossbow is held up and to the side, a heavy bag over his shoulder. My ears drop back against my skull, I can easily smell his anger and worry from here.

Merle steps out behind him, hoisting up two big bags while grinning amused. I pad closer, ducking my head and whinning apologetically. Daryl stomps closer, gnawing his teeth and huffing.

"Who are you?" Andrew asks quietly from his spot on my back. 

Daryl glares up at him, "Daryl, now what are y'all doing up there?"

Merle chuckles, moving past his brother until he reaches my side. Then he drops the bags, reaching up grinning as he pulls the kids down. They go easily enough which should surprise me but it doesn't. Darla drives closer, parking the truck beside us and slipping out cautiously.

Merle takes over introductions. I shuffle closer to Daryl, sniffling and whinning in apology. His scent is thick with worry and a small amount of anger. I lick at his arm, trying to tell him I'm sorry. 


	47. A long overdue talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thanks for the comments and kudos😊 y'all are awesome💐💐💐💐💐

Chapter 47: a long overdue talk

Merle loads the kids and the bags into the truck bed beside Padfoot. He spares him a concerned look. Padfoot woofs back, his way of saying that he's okay. But Merle keeps that concerned scent so I know he'll check him over soon enough.

Daryl looks me over unhappily. No doubt he's noticed the many bandages that haven't fallen off yet. I paw at the ground, keeping my head down submissively. I don't actually want to fight with him.

Merle climbs up in the driver's side of the truck, calling Darla and Jesus to join him. They do, both aiming questions at him as he drives. The kids seem occupied enough with petting Padfoot that they're not bothered.

I wait until they've turned down a side street before I transform back. Daryl eyes me concerned, focusing on the many bandages that now fall away. I pull the others off, mumbling, "I'm healed enough to not need them now anyways."

"How'd you get hurt?" He asks calmly.

I shuffle my steps, uncertain as I answer, "I got shot?"

He hisses in a breath so I quickly add, "There was a bunch of guys with guns attacking that family. They killed the kids parents. I was just trying to help."

"You coulda been killed!" He hisses back angrily. 

I glare back, unwilling to feel bad about helping them. He huffs, recognizing my stubbornness and shifting his own weight. "You were gone for days," he says mildly. "Do you have any idea how worried we've all been?"

I look away but he steps closer, angry again, "Do you know Thorin cried himself to sleep? Did you even consider how you leaving would affect him? He hasn't been away from you for more than a day!"

I look away ashamed, mumbling my excuse, "I just had to get away for a bit. I didn't mean to be gone so long. I was gonna come back that afternoon, I swear."

He stomps closer, glaring down at me. I don't meet his eyes, even when he leans down to stare at me. I'm not afraid, just ashamed. 

Because hes right, I wasn't thinking of Thorin. I was being selfish. I was thinking that Daryl was going to leave me for Beth and I wasn't ready. I was thinking that Alexandria is too much like Privet drive and I hate that place so much. I felt like I'm back to being that boy, the dirty troublesome thing that everyone avoids.

I sniff, hating the tears that burn my eyes. I don't want to cry, I rarely cry. But now all I can think is Thorin must've been so terrified, thinking I abandoned him. I didn't mean to hurt him, not sweet Thorin. 

Arms wrap around me, pulling me close. Daryl nuzzles my shoulder, his fingers stroking through my hair. I cling to him, uncertain if it's welcome but needing the closeness. 

"I need ta understand," he whispers against my ear. "I need ya to explain it to me."

I sniff, feeling worse now that I have to put it into words. But he's right, he deserves an explaination. So does Thorin for that matter.

"I couldn't sleep, couldn't settle down," I confess. "It was like my skin was too tight. It felt like I needed to get out, get away."

He hums. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see his face when I admit, "I wasn't ready..."

I tense up, unable to get the words out. He pulls back, eyeing me concerned, "Weren't ready for what?"

I pull away, hugging myself and shifting in place. I haven't felt this awkward before. But if I can face deatheater then I can tell my boyfriend that I'm afraid he's leaving me. It shouldn't be that hard, right?

I look away, half to see if there's anything dangerous around but mostly so I won't have to see his expression. I quietly voice my doubts, "I know you liked her first, that you like her more. And she can give you a family that I cant."

He hisses angrily, pacing back and forth like a caged tiger. I glance back only long enough to see him glaring angrily at the road in front of him. Then I look away, almost wishing for walkers to show up. But no doubt they've already cleared the area.

I clear my throat, trying again awkwardly, "I'm not mad. Honest, I understand."

He goes still, facing away from me. I glance past him just to check that there's no threats. The roads are still clear of walkers. I shift my weight, admitting the one thing I know is true, "I want you to be happy. If that's not with me then... Well, it's okay."

"You think I love her?" He asks sadly, still facing away.

I shrug helplessly, unsure how to voice it. It's like everything has gotten worse since we arrived. It's like I'm back on Privet drive. It's like I'm back in the cupboard again. But how do I put it into words?

He turns to face me, his eyes guarded. I tense, waiting for him to say it and somehow feeling foolish for doubting him. He sighs heavily through his nose, looking away only to immediately look back.

"I thought ya knew," he says gently, in that deep gruff voice of his. "I never said the words but I thought ya knew me well enough ta know."

He moves closer, holding my gaze steadily. His voice is soft, like an intimate whisper, "I love you, Harry."

I gasp, startled to hear the words. Part of me doubts, fears, but a larger part soars. My chest warms, my hands tremble as I shuffle closer, reaching for him.

"I love your compassion, your strength, your dedication to what's right," he says with a smirk, eyes shinning happily. "I love your eyes, your smile, the sounds you make."

I blush, feeling oddly unsteady but pleased. I can't help but blurt out, "I love you!"

He smiles, a real smile although it only lasts a moment before it falls back to the familiar half smile. I press a kiss to his lips, looking bravely back into his eyes as I tell him, "I love you! I love your honesty and your courage and your strength!"

He strokes my hair, rubbing his nose along my cheek. Tension draining away as I relax into his arms. I breath in his scent, letting it sooth away my worries.

"We were okay before this, weren't we?" He asks hesitantly.

I nuzzle his cheek, "I don't know why, it's just..."

He leans back, stroking fingers through my hair as he waits. Neither of us are really good with words. I try again, "It's like... something here just makes me feel worthless."

"Ya ain't worthless," he frowns back.

I smile, "I love you and I trust you. It's just... I don't feel comfortable there. I can't help it."

"Then we'll leave," he states matter of factly. "If ya ain't comfortable we don't gotta stay. We're strong, we can always find another place."

"Really?" I ask, almost unable to believe he would give up a nice safe settlement for the unknown road.

He nods, looking back seriously, "If ya want to leave then we will."

He's right. Our pack is strong! We can easily find another place. In fact, there were several that we saw in our travels that could've worked for us. The only reason we kept moving on was because we were trying to stay with a larger group.

They won't all come with us. Especially if I can't give them a good reason to leave a sure thing. But our pack can make it work.

We'll have to figure out what to do about the animals. Even if it was us that found them, the whole group helped to care for them. Maybe we can split them evenly. Although I don't want the horses. They're just too big and messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, to give an idea about the size of Harry's animagus form I compare him to the larger mastiff. I figure Padfoot is the size of a large dog, big but not overly alarming. So I have Harry as twice his size. The reason the kids ride on his back is because they're small and half starved. An adult couldn't ride his back. Also, the main reason he can crush people's skulls beneath his paws is because his magic makes his form stronger. Since they're from a whole other world where dragons and thestrels exist I figure their version of a direwolf would be fearsome. Hope that helps😊


	48. Telling the group

Chapter 48: telling the group

Thorin leapt at me the moment I got to the house. It was late evening and the bright light from the house spilled out into the yard. He and Tiny both ran out the moment we rode up on Daryls bike.

It took a while to get them back inside the house. Then I had to spend over an hour calming Thorin down enough to sleep. Tiny clung to me too but she also settled back easily, reassured now that I'm back. Thorin wasn't so easily pacified. 

I didn't sleep well. Mostly because Thorin kept waking throughout the night to shout my name. Then I would spend several minutes calming him down until he could fall back to sleep.

Daryl offers a sympathetic look. As much as I appreciate it I can also see the relief on the faces of the others. Thorin must've been a nightmare to them all while I was gone. 

At breakfast, he stays in my lap, refusing to budge an inch. It takes nearly constant prompting from me to get him to eat the scrambled eggs and biscuit Carol made for breakfast. He complies but he also keeps one hand fisted in my shirt as if he thinks I'll disappear if he lets go. It makes me feel even more guilty but I deserve it so I don't complain.

Merle says he left Darla and the others with Deanna. He figures she'll get set up in a house soon enough. Sirius already explained to the others what happened while we were out there. It has everyone worried about this new threat. Although they're also happy to learn about other communities.

I decide to tell everyone before they scatter for the day, "We're not going to stay here in Alexandria. I've talked with Daryl and I know Sirius doesn't mind. We'll find somewhere else to settle."

Silence only held for a moment before the whole room erupted in surprise. Merle whistled to shut them all up. Then he addressed them, "This was a trial on both our parts. We feel like this won't work for us so we're gonna move on. Those that wanna come with us can."

More startled looks are exchanged. Glenn asks, "What about supplies? Where will y'all go?"

"We'll take our RV and our portion of the supplies," I answer. "Y'all should be alright here."

"But why leave?" Carol asks, looking over us alarmed.

I glance over at Daryl, uncertain how to put it into words. He frowns, glancing at Merle who sighs, answering her, "We just prefer something else, that's all."

"Where will you go?" Austin asks.

Merle and Daryl trade a look. Again it's Merle who answers, "We figure mountains may be a good bet. We're gonna head over to the ol' smokies."

Sammie perks up at that, "The smoky mountains? I have an uncle that lives up there."

She and Nessa share a glance that seems to communicate a whole discussion with head tilts and smiles. Nessa nods her agreement so Sammie asks, "You got room for two more?"

Merle grins, "For you two, Darlins, you bet."

"Wait a minute now," Wyatt calls out, "but I think you're jumping the gun on this one. Why don't you give it another week or two, then decide."

"I already know I don't want to stay here," I answer evenly. "I'm not being dramatic or trying to cause trouble but these people..."

How do I say it without offending anyone? "They're the same kind of people that I grew up around and I'm not comfortable with that."

"What do you mean?" Austin asks.

I shift in discomfort, glancing over at Daryl who is frowning back. Merle answers coldly, "They're wishy washy, shallow, prejudice people that will follow the newest leader until another shiny thing comes along to distract them."

"They turn a blind eye to abuse even as they gossip about it," Carol adds with a pointed look that some of the group seem to catch. I nod my agreement which has the others frowning. 

"What about the animals?" Beth asks softly, staring intently at Daryl. 

He frowns back unhappily, "They're ours."

"They belong to the group," Maggie argues.

"Like Hell they do," Merle scoffs.

Wyatt tries to calm everyone but Merle tells him to shut up. Austin offers to split the animals but his voice is mostly lost in the others shouting. Thorin looks around in distress, Gam's lower lip trembles.

"Enough!" I snap out, my power pushing through the room like a physical thing. 

They immediately fall silent, watching me startled. I set Thorin down, scoop Gam up and take Tiny's hand. Carl stands with Evelyn in his arms, clearly following my lead. 

I look over the group, telling them sternly, "No more fighting! I'm taking the kids to the RV. Then I'm coming back in here to pack up our stuff."

Wyatt shifts his weight like he wants to interupt. I glare back, warning him to stay silent. He may be a decent leader but he's not half the man Merle or Daryl is and I'm not going to cave to him.

"We will split the animals but not evenly," I tell them, shifting Gam so he can rest high on my shoulder. "You can keep the horses and half the pigs. We'll also leave four goats, five hens, and a rooster. The rest of the animals come with us. Understood?"

A few of the others shift uncomfortably. Its clear by their expressions that they want to argue. Thankfully, they stay quiet.

I turn to leave, giving Merle and Daryl what I hope is an encouraging smile. Merle grins back proudly, his chest puffed out. Daryl gives that half smile of his where just the edge of his lip lifts but his eyes shine.

I lead the kids out the front door since the RVs are back in the driveways. They must've gotten the fences put up while we were gone. Which makes it easier since we don't have to wade through the animals to get inside.

I put the kids on the back bed, flipping the air conditioner on so it won't get too hot. There's still several toys in here so I tell them to play. Carl agrees to watch them while we gather our stuff. I promise to gather his as well.

When I step out of the RV, most of the group is leaving the house. Maggie goes alongside the moving truck, watching as Daryl and Merle load up the birds. Beth follows, speaking softly to Daryl who snaps back angrily at her. Then she huffs, turning with tearful eyes to stomp back inside.

I head inside, ignoring the kitchen where Carol sooths a crying Beth. Kaila helps me gather up the toys. Sammie and Nessa are sorting out the food, gathering a little of everything to take with us.

We're really doing this! We're really going to leave this community just because I'm uncomfortable here? We'll be okay, I'm sure of it. Between me and Sirius, our powers give us a huge advantage. And with Daryl and Merle leading us, there's no way it'll go wrong.

I already feel less tense, less afraid. Something here just makes me feel like I don't belong. But we're packing up and heading out. We have a destination, even if it's a vague one. And already I feel hopeful.


	49. Away we go

Chapter 49: away we go

Deanna showed up as we were packing. Wyatt had gone to her, explaining what was happening. For some reason, she seemed to think she has a say in when we leave.

"I just think waiting a week will be for the best," she states rather condescendingly to Merle who doesn't even pretend to listen.

He and Daryl have already put the birds in the truck and wedged our makeshift wall in place. It's really just a thick piece of plyboard and some netting that he has tied through holes cut in the side of the truck. There's several holes, long slanted things they've sanded smooth so the animals get plenty of air while inside.

Daryl and Sirius are herding the pigs up the ramp. It helps that Sirius is able to spell the animals calm. That way it just takes a little nudge to get them to cooperate.

"I just don't see why you want to leave so soon," she adds frustration bleeding into her tone.

I shake my head, moving back in the house. Sammie passes me with two bags nearly bursting with food. I motion her to the RV as if she doesn't already know where to go. Nessa follows, blankets bundled in her arms and a backpack on her back.

Carol seems to have given up on comforting Beth and decided to cook lunch. I guess she wanted to let someone else try. Maggie is now hugging her sister, whispering soothingly to her as she sniffles. 

I hate to see anyone cry but It's a bit much, isn't it? She's acting like someone died. Yes, we're leaving the group but it's not like we're abandoning them. It's not like we're leaving them with nothing.

It's one thing for Thorin to be hysterical when I left. He's a young child and hasn't been far from me for more than a few hours since I found him. Hell, he still needs to leash himself with me most of the time. But again, he's a small child.

Beth is old enough that this behavior is kinda silly. I tell myself that I'm not going to get involved. I tell myself that it doesn't matter and she'll be fine.

It worked, until I heard Maggie say, "Well, he was never good enough for you anyway. Always stringing you along, using you. You deserve so much better."

A snarl escaped me before I even felt it rumble in my chest. I went from standing by the mismatched pile of laundry, sorting out what's ours and what isn't, to standing at the table, teeth bared at them. My body trembling with barely suppressed rage as my other form begs for release.

"He never used her!" I snap out angrily. 

Maggie shakes off the shock to glare back. I can see her puffing up, ready to argue. But I won't let her keep lying about him like that!

"He never used her, never forced her, never pressured her!" I snarl out, feeling my teeth ache to bite. "All He ever did was support her, support us! I don't know why you think you have the right to judge him when you've never tried to know him."

"He lead her on and convinced her to try all kinds of things she didnt want!" Maggie argues.

"She flirted and he refused," I snap back. "Just because he doesn't want her, that's no reason to vilify him! And he never made her do anything she didnt want! The moment either of us felt uncomfortable he would back off and wait for us to say were okay."

"He seduced me!" Beth cries.

"He never did anything that you didnt ask for and encourage, he never forced, never hurt you. Hell, he went along with all of the stupid kinky shit you wanted to try."

"He wants me!" She argues, "You did something didn't you? You're making him leave because you know he loves me!"

"What happened to you?" I ask incredulously.

She wasn't like this before. She was a friend, kind and trustworthy. She was fun and supportive and strong. Now she's none of that.

"My family's gone," she huffs out.

"Yeah, but that's true of all of us," I point out. "It doesn't explain why you're being such a cunt."

She snorts, and for a moment I see the amusement we used to share. But her expression changes, becomes closed off. Some expression flashes in her eyes too quick to identify.

"He wouldn't leave me," she states matter of factly.

I almost snap back but curiosity wins. I ask, "Why are you latching onto him now? Why here? You haven't cared before this so what's changed?"

Maggie frowns confused. Beth glares back, "He and I belong together."

"Since when?"

She opens her mouth, a hard look in her eye. But I interupt, "No, I'm being serious here. When did you decide that he belonged to you?"

She frowns, unhappy with the question. So I try again, "Was it after your father died? You barely said so much as a hello to him. You spent nearly all of your time with the other women and would only talk to him when they were around."

She shifts in discomfort. I keep going, "Was it when we were on the road? You rode in the other RV. You rarely spoke to him even when we all gathered together."

Maggie is frowning now, looking at her sister in confusion. I point out, "You haven't spoken to him, barely acknowledged he existed before we got here so why? Why now and why here?"

Beth looks away, a shameful blush on her cheeks. I look from Maggie to Carol. Both are watching Beth, waiting for an answer. 

I wait a few minutes in case she needs to gather the words but she stays silent. Even when Maggie tries to prompt her, she ignores us all. So I leave the table, going back to the clothes to finish gathering ours. 

"I still don't understand why you let people talk about him that way," I say over my shoulder, not caring to look at her. "I lost track of the times I had to explain to others that they were wrong. But you... you never spoke up in their defense."

I shove the clothes in an old sports bag, stuffing it full. The others will probably be finished soon. I can still see Deanna standing outside. Although now she's talking to Sammie and Nessa.

"You know they never hurt us and yet you let the group think that they brainwashed and raped us," I state coldly. "I never could understand why you did that."

I turn back to the dinning room, watching as she continues to ignore us. I hoist the bag up on my shoulder, feeling tired of the drama, "You left us, turned on us. I could've forgiven you letting your family bully you back to the weak link that you were before. Although I was very sad to see my strong confident friend disappear."

Maggie glares back. I guess she doesn't like it being pointed out that they treated Beth wrong. But it's true, regardless of whether she wants to accept it or not.

"He was my first," Beth says distractedly. "I really did love him."

She looks back at me, a quiet sadness making her pale. "Youre right, he isn't mine and he doesn't love me," she says. "I just wish he did. I wish I could go back to before, when it was just us."

"So you're acting like a spoilt toddler now because... what? Regrets?"

She smiles sadly, "I thought if I was with him again then I could be strong again."

"You were strong because you chose to be," I point out. "You made yourself strong, we just supported you."

She nods absently, "I'm sorry. Will... Will you tell him that I'm sorry?"

"You should tell them yourself," I answer.

Again she nods but not like she's agreeing. I sigh, leaving the house. And I was right, the truck is closed up. They must've gotten the other animals loaded while I was inside. 

Daryl sends me a tired half smile that I answer with one of my own. Deanna seems to have given up talking and is now standing on the lawn, frowning disappointingly while Merle climbs into the drivers seat of the truck while Sirius waits in the passenger seat.

Thorin leaps at me the moment the RV door opens. I carry him to the front, holding him in my lap as I take the passenger seat. Daryl climbs in the driver's seat while Nessa and Sammie take the couch. The engines start and we're off.

Most of the people here are out and staring at us. Those at the gate watch on confused at our approach. But they dont argue when Daryl snaps at them to open the gate. Carl moves to the kitchen table, leaving Tiny, Gam, and Evelyn on the back bed watching cartoons.

"We need maps," I point out quietly.

Daryl smiles over at me, "Yeah, yeah, I'll find ya some maps."

It's still early, barely ten in the morning. We have full tanks of gas, thanks to the people of Alexandria. So we'll get a decent distance before we run out. Either way, we're on the road again. Our own personal freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this section but the story will continue😊


End file.
